You know you’re truly committed to being a regressive blockhead when you are willing to not only throw into the trash perfectly good items you paid for, but flush them down the toilet, likely causing a plumbing issue that will put you out several hundred dollars.

It seems there are thousands of men on this continent who cannot handle a corporate entity’s suggestion that no, in fact, they are not perfect the way they are. Perhaps this is because, traditionally, advertising aimed at men presents their insecurities and vices as strengths (for example, a TV ad for a popular fast food chain tells the story of a dorky college-aged guy who manages to lure the girl of his dreams out of the arms of her handsome boyfriend via a bucket of fried chicken). In ads aimed at men, the male gender is master of his own destiny, not to mention the universe. In ads aimed at the female gender, women are brutally insecure yoghurt addicts, whose idea of bliss is a clean kitchen and a hot bath. But women are used to this framing. We are used to the contradictions of advertising that tell us to lose weight and be prettier while at the same time urge us to be self-confident and comfortable in our own skin.