"Star Wars" is not about sex

Asked to explain his declaration, which he claims applies retroactively to the character as portrayed by Billy Dee Williams in the original films and not just to Donald Glover’s interpretation of the role, Kasdan told HuffPost: “I think it’s time, certainly, for that, and I love the fluidity — sort of the spectrum of sexuality that Donald appeals to and that droids are a part of.”

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Look, sir! … Droids? Not to put too fine a point on it, but if we were meant to watch these films and regard C-3PO as a potential sex object, I think it’s fair to say that millions of viewers have been misunderstanding them for 40 years now. What other obvious cues were the rest of us idiots missing during the laser gun fights and the ridiculous dialogue? It is, I suppose, just about possible that Greedo was always supposed to be a bisexual transman with a penchant for hot giant slug-on-green catfish action and that part of Jabba’s animus toward Han Solo is, in fact, best explained by his desire to avenge the murder of his former flame. But what about IG-88? You can’t tell me he showed up at the gathering of bounty hunters aboard the Star Destroyer Executor in response to a Missed Connections post from Bossk, the red-eyed leather-faced (and presumably cis) Wookie slayer from the planet Dosha.

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