11 things every real conservative should ask on a first date

6. What is your understanding of settler colonialism?

Your date must understand that it is awesome.

The greatest achievement of the last thousand years was the European settlement of North America (South America – whatever) and the building of the nation that is the greatest beacon of justice and freedom in human history – the United States of America.

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Elizabeth Warren notwithstanding, Native Americans are terrific in many ways, including their legendary record as warriors serving in America’s armed forces, and they sure don’t need or want some lib doofus’s pretend pity. There’s no cheaper, tackier sentiment than a pinko rich chick from Brentwood calling Thanksgiving “a celebration of genocide” and whinging on about how those mean old settlers conquered the continent back in the olden days of the 1940s or something – as if she’s ready to pack up her condo and move back across the ocean with 325 million other folks.

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