Many men have said that you hear and believe us: Good. Now do more. Grapple with the ways that you turned a blind eye to, ignored, or were complicit with our abuse and mistreatment. There are leaders among you—in my world, disproportionately men of color—who are stepping up in impressive ways. Follow their examples. Be specific. Blanket apologies do nothing.

But if there are particular things you did—or failed to do—acknowledge them and express remorse. I would welcome an “I’m sorry” from the man who failed to meet my gaze on the near empty subway car two decades ago. Remember me? The 20 year-old whose eyes pleaded with you to intervene when the older man sat uncomfortably close to me, positioning himself in such a way that I feared I could not escape? I made it out unscathed, gratefully, but a mere glance my way—an “Are you okay?”—could have made me feel less alone and afraid.