Dude
On the night of Sept. 3, 2012, an off-duty police officer was jogging through a residential neighborhood of Waukesha, Wis., when he spotted someone who appeared to be having sex on a yellow couch that had been abandoned on a street curb, according to the Smoking Gun.
But when the officer got closer to the couch, he saw that Gerard Streator, 47, was quite alone and his hips appeared to be “thrusting up and down on the couch,” according to the official criminal complaint. The officer quickly deduced that Streator was “trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.”
Streator allegedly ran off, but was later arrested at the Country Springs Hotel in Waukesha where he is an employee, the Smoking Gun reports. Streator is scheduled to enter a plea in Waukesha County Circuit Court on Feb. 25.
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Seriously – never do this with a ‘street couch’.
Pork-Chop on January 16, 2013 at 6:06 PM
something something Manti Te’o something something
I mean, better a real couch than a fake girl, no?
Jeddite on January 16, 2013 at 6:07 PM
but was later arrested at the Country Springs Hotel in Waukesha where he is an employee, having access to hundreds of pillows and cushions
burrata on January 16, 2013 at 6:08 PM
Well it is called a “Loveseat”.
portlandon on January 16, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Reminds me of something from the UK courts:
LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
WITNESS: I saw George.
LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
LAWYER: His “thing”?
WITNESS: You know… His thing. His di… I mean, his penis.
LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
WITNESS: Of course I did!
LAWYER: What did you say to him?
WITNESS: “Morning, George”
lexhamfox on January 16, 2013 at 6:11 PM
Well… at least it wasn’t “The Comfy Chair.”
(Monty Python reference)
viking01 on January 16, 2013 at 6:13 PM
Had the sofa been armed this wouldn’t of happened. Obozo hates furniture!
Flange on January 16, 2013 at 6:15 PM
Well, I’ve heard of couch potato … but this …
OldEnglish on January 16, 2013 at 6:16 PM
That’s the manly way to look for change !!
burrata on January 16, 2013 at 6:20 PM
By the way, anybody hear from Lorien…?
Sekhmet on January 16, 2013 at 6:24 PM
Urban Elitist hasn’t been around in a while.
Bishop on January 16, 2013 at 6:26 PM
“At least it wasn’t a h-white couch.” —- brainfree
viking01 on January 16, 2013 at 6:33 PM
If the couch wasn’t wearing a slipcover then it was clearly asking for it.
- Indian Guru
lester on January 16, 2013 at 6:39 PM
What harm did he create?
Since when is molesting a couch a crime…now a chair, I understand…
right2bright on January 16, 2013 at 6:50 PM
“Heh, heh, I’d do it… it all depends on what the meaning of couch is.”
— William Jefferson Blythe Clintoon
(frowns, bites his lip, glances up to see if the Dimocrats bought it.”
viking01 on January 16, 2013 at 6:52 PM
“Every couch a lurved and wanted couch.”
—- Jocelyn “Eric Clapner’s Biggest Fan” Elders
viking01 on January 16, 2013 at 6:54 PM
haters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4zUcrzQHMs
JamesSeanMcKeane on January 16, 2013 at 7:31 PM
oh yeah NSFW
JamesSeanMcKeane on January 16, 2013 at 7:32 PM