J.B. Hofmann
To my 13-year-old, an iPhone contract from your mom, with love
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad.” Not ever…
8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
10. No porn.
Blowback
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She says “hot damn” to her 13-year-old? Anyway, no kid under 18 even needs their own phone. At all.
Warner Todd Huston on December 30, 2012 at 8:11 PM
what did he do to earn it?
renalin on December 30, 2012 at 8:11 PM
A seriously spoiled child and indulgent mother. Giving a 13 yo boy a $200+ phone with a $150+ monthly contract is just plain nuts.
obladioblada on December 30, 2012 at 8:15 PM
I used to think so, too, until my son hit middle school. It’s a safety issue. You can limit texting and certainly shut off media access, but you need to be able to find each other.
obladioblada on December 30, 2012 at 8:20 PM
Dunno. I’d give my 13 year old a phone, but the boring ones that just do calls and maybe text for emergencies and rare usage where I get to monitor the in/out phone numbers. It’s getting harder to find payphones that actually work now.
Or split the cost on an iphone with them and still monitor usage.
I’d rather know where my kid was and that they could call quickly in an emergency than worry about finding a phone or a payphone.
kim roy on December 30, 2012 at 8:22 PM
interesting take.
astonerii on December 30, 2012 at 8:26 PM
Reading comments on HuffPo is depressing, and I don’t know why I subject myself to predictable liberal idiocy. An involved mother who helps her child understand that in life, there is no such thing as “unconditional,” is excoriated as micromanaging and unrealistic. Fine, kiddo, pay for your own phone. My land, I hate liberals.
DrMagnolias on December 30, 2012 at 8:39 PM
Gosh, isn’t she a wonderful parent? Wow. She’s really the best. A Good Parent. She is such a Good Parent that she decided to write an article about what a Good Parent she is — starring her! The Good Parent.
It reminds me of that famous piece we all saw in the ’70s — “To my 13-year-old kid, a new Schwinn from your parents, with love.”
The instructions were a bit shorter, though, and they were oral rather than written: “Don’t be a dumbass.”
See? We had Good Parents, too. Good…and succinct.
Rational Thought on December 30, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Christmas is a time to give gifts of joy to celebrate the birth of our savior. It is not a time to give gifts contingent on contracts and great behavior. She’s trying to give a gift and a lesson all at once.
Also does he really need an iPhone?
amazingmets on December 30, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Jesus’ birth is a contract from God to Us. With instructions and behavior. His guidance to our salvation is not without requirements and actions on our part.
Interesting how you worked to excoriate someone else by the use of Jesus and actually end up looking pretty ignorant of the reason for Jesus’ birth.
astonerii on December 30, 2012 at 8:49 PM
Safety issues. Now that my son is in Middle School and attending functions with other people and parents driving him to those functions it’s very important for him to have a phone. Plus, he never spoke with his grandparents or other relatives on the phone that often now they are always in constant contact via text message and more often they are talking on his cell. Absolutely nothing wrong with a kid having a cell as long as he treats it right.
Nothing wrong with that letter from the mom to her son about the iPhone. I know several adults that need to read the letter.
poppieseeds on December 30, 2012 at 8:50 PM
I used to think kids didn’t need phones until they were much older, then my oldest got stranded one day when she was 12 and had no way to call us for an hour. I got her a cell phone the next day. My second child got a phone in 5th grade when he started riding the bus. For me, it’s for my peace of mind because I can reach my kids and if necessary track them on their phones. I can live with all the texting with their friends as long as they behave.
toby11 on December 30, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Unfortunately, many of today’s parents were raised by the most selfish, self indulgent, irresponsible people born to this nation, the baby boomers. Thus they were not on the whole as well educated in the ways of raising children with responsibilities and good character and thus have trouble figuring out how best to instill those virtues into their children. Thus, some people can actually benefit from the public shows from others.
astonerii on December 30, 2012 at 8:53 PM
Exactly.
astonerii on December 30, 2012 at 8:54 PM
Short version: Here’s a phone, now don’t use it.
It is strange to me how many parents do not allow their children to use technology.
It is wise to enforce rules, but if the ‘don’t’ list is longer than the ‘do’ list, the child will be unable to learn much about the device.
My parents let me mess with their computers, to the point of breaking things. (which I then would try to fix on my own)
It’s led to a very rewarding career path as a software developer. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if my parents had not given me free reign to use/break/fix computers in our household.
Compare my case to the case of many of my friends, who had many limits placed on their usage of computers growing up. These friends sometimes request my help to fix little things, much less attempt to design something new.
Nephew Sam on December 30, 2012 at 9:16 PM
You are free to decide how you wish to raise your children (if you have them) and let the rest of us decide what our own children need. My son needed a cell phone well before he was 18. He did not get an Iphone until his 18th birthday. Our choice.
Buy Danish on December 30, 2012 at 9:17 PM
Umm.. will your sixteen year old be driving? I got a cell phone when I was sixteen and was required to call mom when I got anywhere. I had Mom’s old car because I went to a private school and she got tired of driving me each morning… A real treat when you are a junior in HS. Is your middle school student involved in sports or other extracurricular activities? Because there aren’t payphones to call mom and dad when the activities are over. Makes sense to get your ten year old a basic cell phone.. An Iphone is a bit different, but a basic cell plan. There are even ways to block them from excess texting on newer droid phones.
Illinidiva on December 30, 2012 at 9:25 PM
The Iphone’s monthly contracts are expensive (which is why I chose to forgo one) but they don’t cost $150 a month!
Buy Danish on December 30, 2012 at 9:29 PM
Who is paying $150 a month for iPhone service? A family plan would cost the added data plan plus extra phone fee.
Second, this idea that kids don’t need cell phones is ludicrous. If you don’t want to get one for your kid, fine. But I prefer being able to contact my 13 year old as she learns responsibility and freedom in a severely screwed up world. It’s a tool. And it’s my choice as a parent to use it. It’s your choice to not. To say no child needs one is BS. Are you just old and don’t notice pay phones don’t exist anymore???
tyketto on December 30, 2012 at 9:40 PM
You’re right, the $150 figure was hyperbolic. However, 13 yo boys are notorious for destroying and losing phones. Many of them go through several phones a year.
Starter phones should be inexpensive basic devices. Give the kid a chance to prove that he’s responsible enough with a basic one before gifting him with a grand one.
obladioblada on December 30, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Yes they do. Maybe not an iPhone but you need to be able to communicate with your kids if you need to.
Tasha on December 30, 2012 at 10:11 PM
I believe treating the salvation Jesus provides with an iPhone is the wrong thing to do. There are too many conditions in this Christmas “gift” and it sounds like something that would be better earned.
I’d require a final deal, that by June the report card average has to be above a certain threshold to get the iPhone (or whatever phone it will be). Upgrades to the phone and app allowances would be contingent on grades.
amazingmets on December 30, 2012 at 10:40 PM