“My dearest Barack…”
When Dylan Hansen-Fliedner received an email signed by “Barack” asking for help with the great challenges that lay ahead, the 20-year-old sought to reassure the president of his support: “writing this letter makes me run out of words..i love you so much that i dont know how to express it anymore..”
In response to a missive signed by first lady Michelle Obama, he wrote: “Dear Michelle, You existing makes me want to crawl under a rock. Your beauty undoes everything else—the sun dims and my childhood memories become less idyllic.” …
Hansen-Fliedner, a 20-year-old studying Cinema and English, told POLITICO it was something of an artistic project, designed to highlight faux familiarity in an electronic age. He created a Tumblr and compiled the work into a book. He also mailed it to the White House. He has yet to hear back.
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I clicked on this thinking someone had finally hacked Chrissy Matthew’s gmail.
Kataklysmic on December 1, 2012 at 3:32 PM
To all the young ladies out there, make a note of this man’s name. Should you ever meet him, run the other way. Clearly his creep factor knows no bounds.
salem on December 1, 2012 at 3:35 PM
Gotta be the Onion, right, right?
L
letget on December 1, 2012 at 3:47 PM
“Michelle, can you believe how many fools are in this land? I’m the luckiest bastid alive” — BHO, Oct. 17, 2012
Schadenfreude on December 1, 2012 at 3:59 PM
The HA mill is eating the original letter, for odd reason.
Schadenfreude on December 1, 2012 at 4:00 PM
Forgot…I just had to replace the hurl bucket.
May all these fools, incl. Obama, drown in their latrines.
Schadenfreude on December 1, 2012 at 4:01 PM
“He was on a throne, high and exalted and his trains filled California. And around him were lefties, each having six diplomas. With two they covered the arts, with two political science and two they got so they could defer payment of the other four for a little while longer and keep qualifying for food stamps.
And they cried ‘Holy, Holy, Holy is the lord Barry. The whole country is just full of free stuff for him to give us.’”
29Victor on December 1, 2012 at 4:04 PM
North Korea’s Kim family won’t hire this kid to write propaganda for them — he’s too unbelievable for them.
rbj on December 1, 2012 at 4:29 PM
I think I just threw up in my mouth. A little bit.
trigon on December 1, 2012 at 4:33 PM
I would think this is satire, but I’m not entirely sure anymore. Anyway, I’m sure this guy and his Ivy League education will give me a very enjoyable customer service experience when he’s making me coffee in a few years.
Transpo on December 1, 2012 at 4:40 PM
I want to think this is satire, but…mmm mmm mmm, Barack Hussein Obama….
People used to think that the first black President was at risk of being shot by some racist whack job, but the reality is that THIS GUY is a more likely threat.
Daemonocracy on December 1, 2012 at 4:50 PM
… and I was certain this letter was by Brian Williams.
viking01 on December 1, 2012 at 5:12 PM
I’m right there with you – for different reasons.
BoxHead1 on December 1, 2012 at 5:45 PM
Yes … crawl back under that rock.
ThePrimordialOrderedPair on December 1, 2012 at 5:47 PM
The problem with hipsters is you don’t know when they’re being ironic and making a joke or when they’re being stupid Progs.
Boogeyman on December 1, 2012 at 6:13 PM
Is there a shortage of eye doctors in America?
Basilsbest on December 1, 2012 at 6:38 PM
cableguy615 on December 1, 2012 at 7:01 PM
LOL Well done. You KNOW he laps up the idol worship too. It’d be hilarious if it weren’t so lightning-friendly.
inviolet on December 1, 2012 at 7:33 PM
We love you BHO, Oh yes we do
And when you’re not near, We’re Blue
Ooooooooh-Bah-Ma We Love You!
(I shall now retire to the bathroom to wash my mouth out with soap)
jaydee_007 on December 2, 2012 at 4:28 AM