“Women aren’t women anymore”
But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?
You’ll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.
It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.
Blowback
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Cats….are supposed to ‘obey’.
MelonCollie on November 25, 2012 at 8:14 PM
+1
sharrukin on November 25, 2012 at 8:22 PM
So when did “You will, and you’ll like it” get removed from wedding vows?
viking01 on November 25, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Right about the time they removed “Will you promise to beat and chastise her?”
CurtZHP on November 25, 2012 at 8:25 PM
No entity can serve two masters. That is the intent of the Obey pledge. So long as she is considered an equal master in the house, then the children become confused when mother and father disagree on something.
Men should not abuse the sentiment of the obey pledge, but when it matters, it needs to be said. I am the master of this family, regardless of what mom says, my and only my words are the ones to be served.
This goes along with the description of an alpha male above. Decisive. You cannot be decisive if your every decision can be overridden by the next person. You are to still be polite, but there needs to be a final word.
In my house, the dog listens to ME. The birds listen to ME. My daughter listens to ME. My wife listens to ME. I have the final authority to make the final decision on any subject at hand. Thus far it has been used 3 times in 7-1/2 years of marriage.
Because in my house, I pay attention to the dog and ensure it has everything it needs to be healthy and happy. Same goes for our birds, my daughter and my wife.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 8:26 PM
Here are some vintage anti-suffrage ads/postcards from the early 20th century. When you look at them, you’ll get a better understanding of the creepiness of arguments like the one above. http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/11/08/vintage-anti-suffrage-postcards/
libfreeordie on November 25, 2012 at 8:26 PM
I guess I should have used a sarcasm tag. She who must be obeyed kinda liked it before I took out the garbage.
viking01 on November 25, 2012 at 8:29 PM
There’s that squealing noise again.
CurtZHP on November 25, 2012 at 8:30 PM
The buck has to stop somewhere, and that carries a ton of responsibility with it. Not something to be thrown around lightly, as you’ve stated clearly.
Once my kids asked me for something and the answer was “No.” Right in front of me, they immediately turned to their mother and asked her. I said, “Don’t bother asking your mother. I outrank your mother!” Their jaws dropped, they looked at her, and she just nodded and smiled.
(Personally, I think she likes having me be the bad guy.
)
CurtZHP on November 25, 2012 at 8:34 PM
I have a close female friend who has been on dating sites on and off for the last decade, after she finally divorced her abusive husband of many years. She has Conservative values, and she’d meet guys all of the time who complained about how hard it was to find a good female like her – she said they’d all complain about how unfeminine and unloving modern American women have become in general.
I told her what you said – most of the good, respectable women get snatched up when they are young!
Anti-Control on November 25, 2012 at 8:35 PM
So what do you exactly find creepy? Wanting an alpha male? The fact that some women gladly say “obey” in their marriage vows?
You know I’m a very independent woman because I have to be. If I’m ever lucky enough to find a husband – I would gladly give up some of my independence to gain what marriage gives you.
Besides I’m old school – I like being a feminine woman and I like a dominant man.
gophergirl on November 25, 2012 at 8:40 PM
The person who submitted those suffragette postcards is a blogger for Ms. Mag.
In his words.
“My journey from would-be weather forecaster to full-time feminist began with the powerful impression made by a photo… ”
David M. Dismore
—————————
He may be a man, but as Whoopie Goldberg might point out….he’s not a man} man.
Definitely a submissive.
Mimzey on November 25, 2012 at 8:41 PM
haha
A woman like you is sexy, and loser beta males will never understand why!
Anti-Control on November 25, 2012 at 8:41 PM
That was the revelation I finally came up with around age 30. Good women marry young. I am too old for one of those young women in general.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 8:42 PM
Quite true. And why I doubt I’ll ever be able to marry…
Gingotts on November 25, 2012 at 8:46 PM
Don’t worry. You will be. It takes time. Both giving up some independence is part of what helps make it work.
viking01 on November 25, 2012 at 8:46 PM
This is true. They are taught by the schools, other women, TV, and popular culture that men are idiots, worthless and disposable. They act accordingly and are shocked to discover that the ‘idiots’ don’t much care for their company.
Their behavior is astoundingly self-destructive. A friend of my niece in engaged to a pilot ($$$$) who is head over heels in love with her and her kid from some other guy. She is currently convincing herself that she should walk away and that she could do better because some slightly cuter guy was interested in her.
So many women don’t get that a guy will be romantically interested in a girl, but that doesn’t translate to an interest in marriage, or any long term relationship.
sharrukin on November 25, 2012 at 8:47 PM
Philippines still has women of conservative character. I used filipinaheart.com…
Not particularly easy to weed out the bad from the good. Took me years. I started in the old USSR block in my search. Then I remembered how nice I was treated in the Philippines while I was stationed there.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 8:50 PM
The first one of those cards has been proven true by Sarah Silverman offering to sleep with someone for Obama cash hasn’t it?
sharrukin on November 25, 2012 at 8:52 PM
I know a few seductive middle-aged women who collect young male admirers. Maybe it’s because these women are really beautiful dancers; there’s nothing more ravishing than a fit female body in motion; and it’s rare to see a genuinely accomplished dancer who’s under the age of thirty, often even forty. I’m not always crazy about how these women comport themselves in public, but rather than hang back and feel jealous I dance better while looking fitter (though obviously not younger) than the competition.
Of course there are plenty of plainer, less imperious women around who might be more tolerant of my natural beta ways.
But if my insatiable unrequited yearning for cruel, arrogant goddesses inadvertently renders me more “alpha,” I guess that’s not a bad thing either.
Seth Halpern on November 25, 2012 at 8:54 PM
I doubt I’d ever use a service foreign or domestic. Just me though. Even if I do find Russian and Ukrainian ladies particularly attractive…
Gingotts on November 25, 2012 at 8:57 PM
And, the number of comments listed on the home page for this was 69 when I clicked on it……..
And, this author is right in many ways.
GWB on November 25, 2012 at 8:58 PM
It is harder and takes longer, but vacation time!!!
I dunno what you mean specifically by service. All they did was allow me to talk to people while still in the USA. After I got to know them, then me and them decided to meet on our own terms. I met one Ukrainian in Poland, I guess neutral ground? I got to visit Ukraine, Paris, Poland, Italy, Greece, Philippines. Several of them more than once.
I made most of the trips at low class, still expensive, but in a way to test the money grubbiness of the lady in advance. No first class at all. It became quite revealing in some instances.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 9:06 PM
I had two instant reactions to this. (1) was that alpha males prefer to do their own killing, thank you very much; and (2) what would you do for a Klondike bar?
platypus on November 25, 2012 at 9:06 PM
Oh I did, a farm kitten adopted from family friends.
We got him to obey; he’d usually come when he was called because he knew it meant petting, and me saying “NO” was enough to stop him. A squirt bottle does wonders to train a cat to stay off the countertop…
MelonCollie on November 25, 2012 at 9:07 PM
You make me laugh my friend
gophergirl on November 25, 2012 at 9:08 PM
Same for birds!!! Not so good with dogs for some odd reason. They think it is play time!
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 9:09 PM
Eh, 90% of dogs don’t have a built-in phobia of water.
MelonCollie on November 25, 2012 at 9:11 PM
It is funny when you go to spray the bird, and the dog is looking for his chance to intercept the shot!
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 9:13 PM
Or a water pistol. Fortunately our cats pretty much have instinctively known (or learn from their “siblings”) what places are verboten with tone of voice illuminating any misunderstandings.
viking01 on November 25, 2012 at 9:15 PM
Victims gotta be victims ya know. And make no mistake, our resident queen is a professional victim.
xblade on November 25, 2012 at 9:16 PM
You make it easy, girl.
Especially when you say
you’d like to be dominated by a guy like melike dominant men.platypus on November 25, 2012 at 9:17 PM
gophergirl on November 25, 2012 at 8:40 PM
A marriage should be the bonding of different equals.
I will never ‘obey’ my husband because I am NOT his inferior. Any man who excepts that his wife to ‘obey’, is a misogynist who is undeserving of a good woman. I’m married to a former US Marine who in many ways is an old-fashioned guy. I am his different but equal-and he is mine. Call it conservative feminism.
annoyinglittletwerp on November 25, 2012 at 9:23 PM
Once for the dog, once for a bird, and once for the daughter?
GWB on November 25, 2012 at 9:28 PM
Much as I like you, that is a very sad thing to hear.
Obeying your husband should not have anything to do with inferior/superior. Marriage is designed so that the man has the authority and the woman has the power. They are NOT equal – they have equal value. The problems start, as the article describes, when men and women compete inside a marriage.
platypus on November 25, 2012 at 9:28 PM
That is so wrong. You’ve believed the lie that obeying makes you less of a person than the one you are obeying. Ask your husband if he thinks that’s true in the Marines.
GWB on November 25, 2012 at 9:30 PM
Then I would say that you have an extraordinarily low level of respect for men in general, and in particular your Marine husband. The obey comes with a firm expectation of respect from the one you are to obey.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 9:41 PM
But do Eastern European ladies share conservative Christian moral values? I know that the redefinition gender roles and influence of Western feminism aren’t as strong over there… though sadly I hear it is creeping in.
I could see how going that route could become expensive fast, though I very much wish to visit Russia and Ukraine someday anyway. And I do have a fair share of Russian, still learning…
Gingotts on November 25, 2012 at 9:43 PM
You sound like a modern, heels-dug-in, too-tough feminist, who misinterprets “obey” as control.
gophergirl’s attitude is feminine and sexy; yours isn’t.
Anti-Control on November 25, 2012 at 9:43 PM
I think this is perhaps something too many women don’t get. Being able to allow a man to take the lead requires alot of strength and courage …. and it doesn’t mean he’s the boss. Our part can be just as hard as his. It is simply making the choice to trust and let the man lead the way in the journey.
The late Pope John Paul II said, “A man loves, a woman responds”. It sounds to me, like dancing. The man leads, the woman follows…but each role will always be equally important.
lynncgb on November 25, 2012 at 9:44 PM
I found one really nice one. Ukrainian. She went to church every Sunday and prayed before meals. She was even earning a large amount of money helping buy clothes from Euro nations to sell in her Family’s stores. We were getting to the point that I thought it was going to work, when she started asking questions that came from her mother…
The one that seemed to be the deal breaker was home ownership. This was during the housing boom, and I chose to stay out of the market and wait for the boom to go to bust. After that conversation, things went down hill.
Just information. By the way, the Philippines is heavily Catholic… Australia has the opposite phenomena in that men treat women like crap. Might be a good place to find one that is appreciative of a gentleman…
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 9:50 PM
platypus on November 25, 2012 at 9:28 PM
I’m NOT ‘competing’. We are different equals. Just because my husband has a dick doesn’t make him my master. Dogs obey- women shouldn’t have too.
annoyinglittletwerp on November 25, 2012 at 9:57 PM
My argument exactly.
I wanted my cat to obey me. I want my wife to love and respect and listen to me.
MelonCollie on November 25, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Something to keep in mind I guess. I’m more attracted to white women, though I can understand the strong Christian values that are in the Philippines. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never considered Russia or Ukraine though, particularly as I am a bit of a Russophile in other respects. Its just the difficulty of going about it. As you said before, you have to sort the good from the bad, and I’m uncertain from reports of how the whole thing risks bumping into scammers and those looking to bilk sex tourists… I can’t see myself having an easier time finding the nice church girls in Ukraine than in USA.
Gingotts on November 25, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Anti-Control on November 25, 2012 at 9:43 PM
Like many Aspie women I’m not very feminine. I’m a spitfyre tomboy. I’ve started wearing my hair longer etc because my husband prefers it-but I will NEVER be a girly-girl. My husband is an old-school gentleman nerd who knows that his wife isn’t a fawning damsel-in-distress type…despite being a conservatarian.
annoyinglittletwerp on November 25, 2012 at 10:02 PM
A man is called to love their wife even as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for Her. A woman is to submit to her husband.
To submit to a man who loves with such self-sacrifice is no loss to a woman.
Scribbler on November 25, 2012 at 10:03 PM
I wanted my cat to obey me. I want my wife to love and respect and listen to me.
MelonCollie on November 25, 2012 at 10:01 PM
You get it. Thank you!
annoyinglittletwerp on November 25, 2012 at 10:04 PM
Well, I guess it is a gut thing for me. Out of all the people I met and the trips I took, only 1 was futile and anything negatively different than I had imagined. I have always been good reading people, even through digital and phone mediums. Maybe comes from being the second most picked on kid in my class?
I guess the next best route is the church, and perhaps a recently widowed or recently found Jesus gal is just right. I did that from 2002 to 2003. No luck there for me. But the church was strict and actively worked against me on this.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 10:05 PM
Scribbler on November 25, 2012 at 10:03 PM
I was a Jewish girl before I became a Christian. Even conservative Jewish girls aren’t known for their ‘obedient’ attitudes. My husband didn’t fall in love with a Michelle Duggar wannabe…he fell in love with me.
annoyinglittletwerp on November 25, 2012 at 10:08 PM
That is all great and good. What happens when she takes $20,000 out of your savings account and buys a fur coat with it…
There are times when there has to be a final authority on what is going to happen. Good luck having your children grow up well adjusted.
astonerii on November 25, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Don’t know… I’m not that old really. It’s just too many women of my generation trend toward flukes and feminazis. You’d think being born under Reagan would have helped that but guess not.
Another issue that has slowed me is the recent developments here. The government of Ukraine is one steeped in corruption where an over-powerful President hampers private business to grant rewards to his cronies, but looks like a weak fool standing before an even more powerful Putin. Right about now the current government here looks like a lateral move from that. At least Klitschko is attempting to fight the corruption there; here, who knows what’s left.
Gingotts on November 25, 2012 at 10:11 PM
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