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Holman Jenkins

Twinkies — a defense

Don’t believe any guff about how chubby Americans are gnawing on carrot sticks. Forget blaming private equity, whose sin in the Hostess matter has been overworking the bankruptcy process to prolong the paper life of a Hostess not fit to survive. …

The Teamsters reluctantly agreed to givebacks to finance the company’s latest turnaround attempt. The bakers rejected any concessions and went out on strike, despite being informed that the result would be the liquidation of the parent company and the loss of 18,500 jobs. …

Hostess has spent eight of the past 11 years in bankruptcy. As the company explained to its latest judge, the Hostess brands “have not been able to profit from many of their existing delivery stops and have been unable to enter potentially profitable markets, such as dollar stores, vending services and movie theaters.” …

One could always ask about the wisdom of a labor-law structure that causes companies like Hostess to drag on for decades without adapting to their marketplaces. One might question whether the bakers are acting in true and brotherly solidarity. But given the circumstances that actually exist, the bakers might well prefer to hold back further concessions, let the company liquidate, and try their luck with a new owner or owners who might materialize for its bakery operations.

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Twinkies ALWAYS survive.

jake-the-goose on November 21, 2012 at 10:32 AM

…try their luck with a new owner or owners who might materialize for its bakery operations.

That right there is funny.

cozmo on November 21, 2012 at 10:38 AM

Good news! Twinkies are still available in Canada!

Twinkie and Wonder Bread lovers in the U.S. can still head north of the border to stock up on the baked goods even with the bankruptcy of Hostess Brands Inc.
Saputo Inc. (SAP), Canada’s largest dairy processor, has the trademark and brand rights to Hostess CupCakes and Hostess Twinkies in the country and manufactures the products themselves, said Sandy Vassiadis, a spokeswoman for the company.
“It’s totally separate,” she said, in an interview from Saputo’s headquarters near Montreal. “We own the rights in Canada so what’s happening in the U.S. doesn’t affect us.”

Johnny 100 Pesos on November 21, 2012 at 10:45 AM

I’ll take Devil Dogs for 300 Alex.

ToddPA on November 21, 2012 at 10:45 AM

Little Debbie > Hostess.

Pablo Honey on November 21, 2012 at 10:47 AM

If Twinkies and cockroaches are the only things that will survive beyond a nuclear winter (or post-zombie, post-Obama……choose your poison), I am all in favor of their continued production, since our diet will consist only of roaches and these luscious golden orbs.

We cannot have half of our post-apocalypse food groups disappear due to this union madness!!!

Shaughnessy on November 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

Jenkins lost me at déclassé… I bet he’s ate plenty of twinkies.

Axion on November 21, 2012 at 11:16 AM

Best comment over there

Blake Allen Replied:

Who really cares about the average wage in a Hostess plant? Unless maybe you’re a vulture investor or, more likely, a statist union apologist suddenly aware that your guys have killed another company and now you need data to spin the story.

My guess is the latter…

What the union-thug-statist-company-killers can’t wrap their heads around is that jobs in these payscales aren’t intended to be career positions guaranteeing a comfortable retirement for all. If a person wants more, and has it in them to achieve more, then they can motivate themselves and achieve it. Those with fewer gifts are supposed to have safety nets to rely on. And in all cases open avenues to affordable and effective higher education.

All all this is supported, hopefully, by a government that has adequate foresight not to enact policies that over-inflate the prices of housing, staples, fuel, and education – as well as manage the safety net trust funds responsibly. But alas, after 80 years of virtual full time liberal-statist mis-management at all levels of government, none of those first-order responsibilities have been adequately seen to. Not only are our safety nets in tens of trillions of debt, the current value of one dollar is equivalent to ONE PENNY at the turn of the last century.

And now that the statists have determined its time to issue the coup-de-grace to evil capitalism – there are no safety nets for anyone. Now its every man for himself, while President Short-Tempered-Pencil-Neck drones on and on about fairness this and fairness that, and “asking the wealthy to pay just a little more.”

But guess who loses when its every man for himself? The weak. The infirmed. The less gifted. The marginal.

Now hide and watch the results as the non-marginal just shrug their shoulders and starting saying “no thank you” to the sales people, and sheltering or even deferring income – or even start closing offices and plants and sending people onto the streets. It looks like Europe, if you care to look.

This is the whirlwind to be reaped by the ever-so-loving-and-concerned social statists, with their 40+ million unborn taxpayers and their great ponzi schemes and their fantasy-land universities and their $100,000 bachelor degrees and their propaganda spewing media.

Enjoy the ride you 47%. You own it.

Schadenfreude!

p.s. Jenkins, it’s not “fustian”…it’s all Faustian.

Schadenfreude on November 21, 2012 at 11:25 AM

LIB = Let It Bake

andycanuck on November 21, 2012 at 12:56 PM

“Twinkie Defense”? I thought this was going to be about how Diane Feinstein got to be mayor of SF then Senator of CA.

Twinkie defense
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie_defense

Paul-Cincy on November 21, 2012 at 1:22 PM

Can someone explain how you write that article with that information and do not focus on the fact that the work rules he’s talking about exist SOLELY to ensure twice as many Teamsters have jobs as needed.

Isn’t that the very essence of unions in this country in the year 2012 – special work rules, the intent of which is inefficiency and nothing more.

The Baker’s union may hold contempt for the Teamsters because their particular union isn’t solely to blame, but that’s hardly the story to be told here.

deadrody on November 21, 2012 at 7:34 PM