Semper fi, honey?
Although there are no firm numbers about infidelity and the military, I suspect that we are a lot like other Americans. From my experience as a military marriage consultant, I’d estimate that a third of military marriages are probably blighted by infidelity — about the same as civilian marriages.
And so we set up our little rules and policies to keep our marriage safe. We talk. We identify the rare, much-too-attractive individuals in our work and social circles whom we need to keep at arm’s length. Fidelity is ingrained in us now.
So why has the Petraeus scandal reduced me to a wet towel and tears? I watched the Petraeuses on TV and noted that, like my husband, the general is in that Cary Grant stage of a military career.
I watch them and I am suddenly aware I look less like the buxom nurse in “Operation Petticoat” and more like Mr. Grant’s co-star, Tony Curtis, every day. And not the young Tony Curtis, either.
Blowback
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ninjapirate on November 16, 2012 at 10:06 PM
piss on this.
Most military families struggle from deployment to deployment, PCS to PCS. School to school and struggle to find friends from one duty station to the next. Few have busty biographers following them around a war zone ……
GEN petraeus is quite a unique “military” case. How many military are allowed a G-5 to fly into /out of theater in??? ummm, few.
ted c on November 16, 2012 at 10:08 PM
That happens outside of the military, too. Everything depends on what one does with the opportunities presented. I liked the idea of leaving to get a Klondike bar.
kakypat on November 16, 2012 at 10:12 PM
Younger women find men’s accomplishments and social presence appealing — I mean by that, they’re attracted to THE IDEA OF a man who provides well. It doesn’t mean, inherently, that they’re available sechuallly to those men but their appreciation of such men does often lead to those men being attracted to not only those women but the IDEA OF exploiting the “available female”…
It is biology more than most of us can reason our way out of. Principle, belief, being stoic against “cheating” and all of that works to a great degree but it does NOT remove or eradicate (or prevent) the feelings themselves.
So this leads to social turmoil…obviously.
Women age differently than men physically and that’s no surprise. The hormonal changes women undergo are not only chalenging but life affecting and it’s not a thing of vanity as often men and younger women project it to be — it’s a trying, physiological change that lasts several decades and it does take a toll on the personalities of women, regardless of how well structured they are when younger.
So women often end up looking like “an older Tony Curtis” or the Quacker Oats Guy or Aunt Jemima when they’re sixty or approaching it.
Men experience a hormonal change as they age, too, but it doesn’t impact them as severely as what women experience — because women begin their teen and adult years with more of the hormonal influences that, when diminished later, affect their bodies more severely than the male developmental process.
And testosterone is a wonderful thing, even for women. It induces greater activity, heightens acuity, increases physical prowess…while estrogen works to influence the opposite of most of that.
I don’t know what the answer is. Women seem to be biologically set up to become grannies and be hug-wagons for the grandkids and tea and coffee makers for visitors with a welcome routine (“hostessing!”) as they age while men continue to be hunters and guarders and herders even with age. So men attract those who can be hunted, herded, guarded while women, as they age, attract those in need of a hug-wagon, tea, cookies and a warm lap.
It just seems more biological to me than anything, despite all our contemporary efforts to change all that. Men don’t live as long as women do but they seem to be built to keep more active with age than women are and that leads to wandering.
Lourdes on November 16, 2012 at 10:23 PM
First I agree with you.
Second, most modern generals are not “military” first, they are politicians first. That’s how they got there.
Difficultas_Est_Imperium on November 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM
Sad is it not? Used to be honor and respect, now its who you blow in the political circles like you said.
watertown on November 17, 2012 at 6:00 AM