How TV undermined the GOP’s family values pitch

This church does not relegate single women in the nursery. They have many single moms and single women in the church. So when I say to change your church I mean that there are traditional doctrine churches out there which make nontradtional people feel welcome.

melle1228 on November 15, 2012 at 8:27 PM

Thank you but did you see my post?

I don’t like children and babies, so I have no interest in working around kids, so I wouldn’t want to work in a nursery, but that is about one of the only ministries a single Christian woman past age 30 is given to do or permitted to do in most churches.

Or maybe I mis read your post.

Finding a Baptist church or some other conservative one that permits a woman to do something that does not = “baby sit kids in nursery” is rare!

Read the book “Quitting Church” by Julia Duin.

Duin discusses this situation – her own experience as well as that of other women who did not want to do “stereotypical” women jobs, but their churches wouldn’t let them do anything else.

Duin is a journalist who also writes books. She likes kids (I do not), but regardless, if she volunteered for kid duties or non-kid duties at her church, her church would not let her participate.

She volunteered to play harp, read a book about childhood to a church group, etc., and all her overtures were turned down.

My overtures to my church were ignored as well.

My talents are in a technical field (nothing having to do with kids, baking, cleaning, or making cookies).

Some churches are so deeply mired in the sexism of the “traditional gender role” garbage, they won’t even let a woman lead a woman’s class for women about women’s issues – that has been brought up in books by Christians and blogs.

TigerPaw on November 15, 2012 at 8:36 PM

Mimzey
My point is that the perception may be unduly focused on religion.

But Christians are not to ignore or slight other people on the basis of marital status, money, or anything else. We are all equal in Christ. They are to show hospitality equally.

Many Christians act like being married is better or more holy than being single, and marriage and sex (and/or having babies) are often held up to be “the prize” and highest life goal a Christian can achieve.

The Bible teaches that singleness is equal to marriage, but this goes ignored by most conservative Christians who are totally consumed with marriage and protecting it from the “attacks by liberal secular culture”.

This means instead of looking to what you have in common in Christ, when you as a single (non married) walk into a new church, instead of caring about who you are in Christ, what career you have, etc., the first thing they want to know is, “Are youmarried with kids?,” when you say “no, never,” they quickly lose interest and drop you like a hot potato.

At most conservative churches, it doesn’t even get that far – you will usually be totally ignored by 99% of the church people in attendance unless you walk in with a man on your arm. Most singles notice this discrepancy. This is not just me, other singles have gone through this too, and Duin mentions it in her book.

melle
It seems to me that you have a couple of bad experiences and now think that all of these Conservative Churches are like this bad experience

I don’t think you are getting it: it’s not just me.

There are a TON of other Christians my age who have never married or are divorced that have experienced the same exact discrimination or shabby treatment, both in regards to marital status and gender or a combo of both.

You can find their stories all over the web, and in Christian books about these topics. It’s not just me.

It’s on record that church attendance has been shrinking the past ten or more years, and I am telling you one reason it’s shrinking.

Some who have blogs about spiritual and child abuse in the church theorize another reason is the rise of authoritarian teachings, too much spiritual abuse, and cover- ups of child abuse (in Baptist and Protestant Churches too, not just Roman Catholic).

Again, if you are married with a child, you are going to be oblivious to this phenomenon of how churches ignore the needs of singles over the age of 30, in particular the single females.

Mimzey on November 15, 2012 at 9:08 PM

If you want numerous examples of how conservative churches slight singles over the age of 30 and you want examples of how they do this, you can find plenty of examples on forums and sites for Christians, where Christian singles over the age of 30 talk about their negative experiences.

In addition, the chapter on singles in the book “Quitting Church” by Julia Duin, and the first half of the book “Singled Out: Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today’s Church by Christine Colón and Bonnie Field Singled Out” contain many examples and interviews with such people.

There are also Christian books, sites, and blogs which have numerous examples of how churches slight Christian women (both married and singled), or treat them badly. Duin has one chapter in her “Quitting Church” book about that topic alone.

Christians who are married with kids tend to be oblivious to how the church ignores or insults singles over the age of 30 because 99% of church sermons and functions cater to them and their concerns and needs – unless those married Christians did not marry until they were much older (over 35 or 40), but Christians who married prior to 35 or 30 are blind to this.

Most sermons, Christian blogs, magazines, and Christian television programming assumes all or most Christians watching are already married with kids or will be. If you do not fall into that demographic, you will pretty much be ignored.

TigerPaw on November 15, 2012 at 9:58 PM