Uncle Cornball: We all know this version of our vice president: the cloying, cheesy, “God love ya, man” Joe Biden who gets so carried away with his voice that he gets himself into all kinds of trouble. We first saw this guy in 2008, when he was so excited America had the chance to elect a black president that he promptly insulted Obama and the entire black race, calling his future boss “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean.” We saw this guy again a few weeks ago at a campaign rally where he announced to African-Americans in the audience that Republicans will put “y’all back in chains.” This is the goofy guy who says things like, “Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents. Three of them intimately.” Or “I promise you the president has a big stick. I promise you.” The guy who said “jobs” was a three-letter word. I kind of want to see this guy. But I bet Obama doesn’t…

Dan Quayle the Second: A slightly worse version of the above, this Joe Biden not only says foolish things, but gives priceless ammunition to the Romney campaign. The most memorable example occurred a few days ago when he told an audience that the “middle class” has been “buried” during the Obama years. A few years ago, this Joe Biden warned people not to ride on aircraft or subways out of fear of contracting “swine flu.” And this Joe Biden casually noted that Americans couldn’t go to a 7-11 or donut shop “unless you have a slight Indian accent.” Lest one hope that the vice president was kidding around on that last one, Biden quickly added, “I’m not joking.” Team Obama isn’t looking for this guy either.