White House scientists struggle to contain outbreak of Scrutonium
Amid their battle to contain the Benghazi strain, a second – and even more deadly – outbreak appeared in Denver on October 3. Nicknamed “the Doomsday Strain”, the Denver scrutonium virus has thusfar been impervious to any attempt at containment.
“We’re dealing with the ultimate buzzkiller here,” said Senior Narrative Engineer Stephanie Cutter. “This one directly attacks voters’ ability to hallucinate happy thoughts, or even ignore the obvious – no matter how many squirrels we innoculate them with.”
Despite all-out efforts to contain the virus, by Friday daily internal gauge readings at CNC headquarters indicated a public opinion disaster was in the making. In order to buy time, Axlerod called on reserves from the 101st Media Narrative Squadron.
“With a virus this aggressive, you need boots on the ground to help fight any new outbreak and sterilize the area with distractions,” said CNC jounalistic affairs liaison David Plouffe. “Luckily, the 101st is highly trained, unquestioningly loyal, and completely immune to all known post-2008 strains of scrutonium.”