Is it possible to reanimate the dead?
These are the types of questions that preoccupy the staff of the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Resuscitation Science (CRS), a team of scientists, clinicians and engineers that’s revolutionizing the way we treat cardiac arrest and nudging forward the line between life and death. It all starts by learning what’s going on at the cellular level. According to Dr. Honglin Zhou, an assistant professor of emergency medicine at the University of Pennsylvania and an associate director of the CRS, scientists generally agree that, unlike the larger organisms they compose, there are clear ways to tell whether an individual human cell is dead. [Does Your Heart Really Stop When You Sneeze?]
Every cell has a tight outer membrane that serves to separate its own contents from its surroundings and filter out the molecules that are nonessential to its function or survival. As a cell nears the end of its life, this protective barrier will begin to weaken and, depending on the circumstances of a cell’s death, one of three things will happen: It will send an “eat me” signal to a specialized maintenance cell that will then devour and recycle the ailing cell’s contents; it will quarantine and consume itself in a kind of programmed altruistic suicide; or it will rupture abruptly and spill its contents into the surrounding tissue, causing severe inflammation and further tissue damage.
In all cases, when the integrity of the outer membrane is compromised, a cell’s fate is sealed. “When the permeability of the membrane has increased to the point that the cellular contents are leaking out, you have reached a point of no return,” Zhou said.
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Look, people: even if this were possible, Reagan has been dead too long.
cynccook on February 9, 2012 at 10:43 PM
What the hell is wrong with these people?
Don’t they watch zombie movies?
sharrukin on February 9, 2012 at 10:45 PM
2 words, Ruth Ginsberg.
waterytart on February 9, 2012 at 10:45 PM
How else do dead people vote for democrats?
Voter fraud is a myth, or so I’m told.
lorien1973 on February 9, 2012 at 10:46 PM
No, but the Romneys baptize them.
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 10:47 PM
Nancy Pelosi…
Seven Percent Solution on February 9, 2012 at 10:48 PM
I don’t see this ending well.
cozmo on February 9, 2012 at 10:48 PM
Ask Lazarus.
John the Libertarian on February 9, 2012 at 10:50 PM
lorien, the dead should be allowed to vote. But just the ones getting Social Security checks.
countrybumpkin on February 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Hypothermia for management of V-fib arrests.
Old news. Nothing to see here.
justltl on February 9, 2012 at 10:53 PM
I forgot to add my smugness tags.
Sorry.
justltl on February 9, 2012 at 10:54 PM
I use the “eat me” signal at least once a day.
JimboHoffa on February 9, 2012 at 10:54 PM
IN the age of Obamacare, does reanimation even matter? Most likely its some Tylenol and a thanks for no longer receiving SocSec.
WashJeff on February 9, 2012 at 10:55 PM
1. Freeze all units that still work.
2. Repair/replace failed components.
3. Reboot.
4. If they come back it means theres no afterlife?
Daikokuco on February 9, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 10:47 PM
Not understanding this comment, before I send the reply I have in mind, please explain, thanks.
waterytart on February 9, 2012 at 10:57 PM
He’s referring to the transgressive and controversial practice of Mormons taking the liberty of posthumously baptizing people into their religion. Like holocaust victims.
Daikokuco on February 9, 2012 at 11:00 PM
This cartoon will explain all the unpleasantness of Mormonism that Mormons will hide from you as long as they possibly can.
tom daschle concerned on February 9, 2012 at 11:01 PM
I missed that the first time around.
I know why lorien
the dead re-animated. And it ain’t pretty.
But, you’re going to take their SSI checks, that is lower than your usual self.
cozmo on February 9, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Both Anne Frank and Adolf Hitler have been posthumously baptized by Mormons. So was Ann Romney’s father.
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 11:04 PM
What the farq?!? Is this stuff true?
cynccook on February 9, 2012 at 11:12 PM
The list of the dead baptized by Mormons spans both the noble and ignoble, famous and infamous. On one hand is a host of Roman Catholic popes and saints, among them Joan of Arc, Ignatius Loyola and Francis Xavier, the latter now listed as married, or sealed, despite lifelong celibacy. Columbus also is there, sealed to a Beatriz Enriquez Harana — the explorer’s mistress; so are Buddha and the mysterious “Mrs. Buddha.” King Henry the VIII, along with several of his six wives, have appeared in church records, along with the Communist foursome of Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin, Mao Tse-Tung and Ho Chi-Minh.
And then there we’ve got Hitler, Martin Bormann, Heinrich Himmler, Reinhardt Heydrich and Joseph Goebbels who were all baptized by Mormons in the Los Angeles Temple. Herod the Great, whom the Gospels recount massacred Bethlehem’s infant boys in an unsuccessful bid to kill Jesus, was baptized in the Logan Temple in 1994. Ivan the Terrible, Dracula (Vlad “The Impaler,” Prince of Wallachia) and Rasputin, spiritual adviser to the doomed Romanov family of Imperial Russia, have also been baptized.
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 11:12 PM
Of course it’s possible. The Chicago donkey party does it every two years.
platypus on February 9, 2012 at 11:17 PM
No, God just brings the soul back to the body.
The Nerve on February 9, 2012 at 11:26 PM
Funny how the Democrats are sitting quietly waiting… just waiting, for Romney to be the Republican nominee. I wonder how they will deal with Romney after he is the nominee?
sharrukin on February 9, 2012 at 11:27 PM
Define “reanimate.” If I put hooks and strings into a dead body (or get all fancy and put some rotors and hydraulics in there) I could make the body animated once more.
Furthermore, as long as the person is only clinically dead (loss of circulatory and respiratory function) then we have been “reanimating” the dead for a long time.
If you mean “bring life back into a body that has been brain dead for more than a couple hours” then…no. Only God can do that.
Pattosensei on February 9, 2012 at 11:28 PM
Here is a serious discussion about the Hitler baptism by some sincere, but misguided Mormons.
Why did we baptize Hitler
LDS_Guy_1986 said:
In response, LDSChristian said:
That poor person wonders if the Apostle Peter was worse than Hiter!
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 11:29 PM
It’s basically true, but it just skims the surface.
You might checkout the site exmormon.org. Specifically, I found the “What Shocked You the Most as you Learned about Mormonism?” helpful. You can read about Mormonism from people who have spent their lives in it.
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 11:34 PM
Thanks for the links, but I don’t think I want to know any more. I only have so much room left in my brain and I don’t want to waste it on nonsense!
cynccook on February 9, 2012 at 11:40 PM
How do you know that Bin Laden and Quadafi are dead?
They are registered to vote in Illinois.
Schadenfreude on February 9, 2012 at 11:41 PM
You can only reanimate the mostly dead.
justltl on February 9, 2012 at 11:43 PM
I have studied it for years now because I have some Mormons in my family out west. Once I started studying I was depressed and heartbroken. I knew they were off. I had no idea.
Stayright on February 9, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Okay, where is he?
Tzetzes on February 10, 2012 at 12:20 AM
“Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What’s so important. What you got here that worth living for?”
Pattosensei on February 10, 2012 at 12:26 AM
I bet the only people who have a problem with this kind of thing, are those who like to call themselves “pro-life”. Ironic.
keep the change on February 10, 2012 at 1:08 AM
Who the hell wants to live forever or in an animated state? I’ve been alive for 41 years and I’ve had about as much nonsense as I can handle. I look at people who are in their late 90s or over 100 and they have a certain look in their eyes. And that look says, “Get me off this crazy thing!”.
Dack Thrombosis on February 10, 2012 at 1:14 AM
How ironic!
OldEnglish on February 10, 2012 at 1:20 AM
Not quite, it’s “GET OFF MY LAWN!”
OldEnglish on February 10, 2012 at 1:22 AM
I know, but they don’t seem to get irony. Perhaps the insensitivity is a prerequisite. Perhaps seeing the irony would break the spell.
Tzetzes on February 10, 2012 at 1:32 AM
“I’m not dead!”
“What?! Says he’s not dead..”
“You’ll be stone cold in a moment..”
“I can’t take ‘em..”
“I think I’ll go for a walk..”
“Your not foolin anybody..”
“Look, I can’t take ‘em”
“Isn’t there something you can do?”
“…I feel Happy,I feel Happ..”
THUMP!
“Thanks, cya thursday”
Biggib on February 10, 2012 at 5:04 AM
Nice to see this thread turn into a religious attack thread.
Now on topic:
I know you can reanimate the dead.
I saw it in Fringe!
Badger40 on February 10, 2012 at 8:02 AM
It doesn’t seem to work with Democrats.
Some people are just too thick headed.
Badger40 on February 10, 2012 at 8:03 AM
Yes. Christopher Reeve showed how it could be done in Superman the Movie.
rickv404 on February 10, 2012 at 8:26 AM