Confirmed: Sex with an ex can be a good thing
Researchers at the University of Arizona looked at post-breakup psychological adjustment and ongoing contact among 137 married adults who had recently separated. As you’d expect, people who accepted the breakup were generally better adjusted while those who still pined for it weren’t.
But that’s not all: for those who didn’t accept the breakup, making a clean break (the advice everyone gives after a breakup) didn’t leave them any happier than trying to keep up a friendship. And if they stayed in touch with their exes, they were actually doing better if they kept having sex with their partner.
“Sexual contact with an ex-partner seems to be associated with better well-being for those who aren’t over the relationship,” says lead author Ashley Mason, a clinical psychology PhD candidate. (YouBeauty Relationship Expert David Sbarra is a co-author on this study as well.)
Blowback
Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.
Trackbacks/Pings
Trackback URL
Comments
Yeah. This is true.
Of course, when that isn’t possible and when you’ve loved the person above all, often life loses any real meaning and is generally a horror, especially thinking about the future without the person.
So yeah, sex with them is probably better than that.
Random on February 5, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Post trauma therapy. Is that covered by obamacare?
OldEnglish on February 5, 2012 at 10:17 PM
I’ve been divorced from the Ex since the late 1990′s and married to the Mister since the early ’00′s. The Ex and I are good friends-Spawn lives with him-and he is also remarried. After we made the decision to divorce-we stopped shagging each other. Period.
Now that we’ve both remarried-can’t speak for him but in my case it’s happily-we would NEVER consider cheating on our spouses with each other. NEVER.
annoyinglittletwerp on February 5, 2012 at 10:20 PM
What if you married someone else, tho?
Warner Todd Huston on February 5, 2012 at 10:22 PM
All behaviors antithetical to christianity are laudable and good.
See you in the gulags or under the alter(minus the head of course).
tom daschle concerned on February 5, 2012 at 10:24 PM
Sounds like the topic has been approached, at least once.
lorien1973 on February 5, 2012 at 10:25 PM
It’s not necessarily antithetical to Christianity. Splitting up in the first place usually is.
Darth Executor on February 5, 2012 at 10:27 PM
Extramarital sex?
Ok, tell me more.
/s
tom daschle concerned on February 5, 2012 at 10:29 PM
alternate headline: an excuse for allahpundit to spend valentine’s day calling up his ex-girlfriends
cameo on February 5, 2012 at 10:31 PM
Just guessing here, but sex with an ex would probably cause the current to make me regret it in ways that I CAN fathom but prefer not to. Not that it’s an issue, but just saying: not a good thing by anybody’s standards…
affenhauer on February 5, 2012 at 10:32 PM
Why would I want to give my ever-lovin’ wife another reason to kill me?
Bishop on February 5, 2012 at 10:35 PM
Or a bad thing. One or the other. Or both.
Kenosha Kid on February 5, 2012 at 10:47 PM
OH, God. I misread the headline and thought it said “Sex with an ox can be a good thing.” I’m so glad I was wrong.
radjah shelduck on February 5, 2012 at 10:53 PM
How do you get back in bed with a monster?
John the Libertarian on February 5, 2012 at 11:11 PM
Divorces are invalid if not done for a good reason. The only one explicitly outlined is adultery. So if you “divorced” because you got tired of each other, it’s not really divorce.
Darth Executor on February 5, 2012 at 11:12 PM
His what?
Darth Executor on February 5, 2012 at 11:12 PM
You must not live in a no-fault state.
John the Libertarian on February 5, 2012 at 11:15 PM
Ummm, no. Not my ex. Just….no.
Sekhmet on February 5, 2012 at 11:17 PM
John, he means in the Bible per Jesus.
Random on February 5, 2012 at 11:19 PM
Thanks, Random. I was just doing some research on this the other day, and the Old Testament (i.e., Mosaic Law) is fairly liberal on divorces, but is explicit that you can’t go back to a woman you’ve “put aside”. I’m not sure where the gospels stand on this, but Paul was against marriage in the first place unless you really couldn’t help yourself.
John the Libertarian on February 5, 2012 at 11:24 PM
“Confirmed: Sex with an ex can be a good thing”
Well maybe, but it sure doesn’t beat conjugal visit sex.
kit dinker on February 5, 2012 at 11:25 PM
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Darth Executor on February 5, 2012 at 11:29 PM
Bleh, I’m not sure I can adequately put my reaction to this article into words.
jhffmn on February 5, 2012 at 11:39 PM
lol John.
Jesus said it’s adultery to remarry if you divorce your douse for any reason other than infidelity.
Random on February 5, 2012 at 11:39 PM
spouse even
Random on February 5, 2012 at 11:40 PM
Sometimes two people who can not fit together at all in a relationship fit together amazingly well in bed. Memories….light the corners of my mind….
libfreeordie on February 5, 2012 at 11:44 PM
We call it “winning the breakup.”
blatantblue on February 6, 2012 at 12:11 AM
I wouldn’t have sex with my ex. Too much emotional baggage involved.
Would rather get her all horned up then deny her the opportunity.
“Kthnxbi!”
blatantblue on February 6, 2012 at 12:13 AM
I guess I’m still going to Heaven.
John the Libertarian on February 6, 2012 at 12:16 AM
I would put this under the “no shit” category.
rndmusrnm on February 6, 2012 at 12:27 AM
A. They haven’t met my exes;
B. If Hotair doesn’t get rid of the Toyota popover flash ad posthaste, it’s going to lose a sh*tload of visitors.
playblu on February 6, 2012 at 12:36 AM
sex is always a good thing!
DBear on February 6, 2012 at 1:04 AM
A few verses before that he says
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’ but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
I think that means we shouldn’t go around judging each other, but just do the best we can in our own lives.
pedestrian on February 6, 2012 at 1:21 AM
I think it means sleeping with lots of hot young babes is as close as is possible to follow those scriptures anyhow.
Random on February 6, 2012 at 1:58 AM
Heck, if I’m sleeping with a woman, I’m more likely to just think of her ’cause she’s then and there to enjoy. If I wasn’t, I’d let my mind wonder.
I probably sin less by picking up women and bedding them, if thinking about it is adultery anyhow.
So it’s all part of my purity plan. Somehow I think randy Ben Franklin with his 12th virtue of “chastity” (RARELY use venery EXCEPT …
) would understand.
Random on February 6, 2012 at 2:36 AM
Firefox + AdBlockPlus Addon + NoScript Addon = I cannot remember the last advertisement I saw online. It’s been years.
TASS71 on February 6, 2012 at 7:36 AM
I think that this was when Jesus labelled all humans adulterers. Everyone has looked at someone else and thought, ‘I’d like a bit of that’. Doesn’t matter if you hit it or not, you’re an adulterer.
Of course then people get all Clintonian about it and say things like lookin ain’t cookin, eatin ain’t cheatin, and ‘I did not have sexual relations with that Woman, Miss Lewinsky’.
CorporatePiggy on February 6, 2012 at 7:59 AM
My point is if you’re going to set an absolutely impossible standard, then one might as well ignore it. If it’s adultery to look, I may as well touch. Heck, I can look at a lot more women on the street and think about sex than I can touch in a private room somewhere.
Put another way, this is one of the silly parts of the Bible.
Random on February 6, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Ditto, Tass.
Difficultas_Est_Imperium on February 6, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Agreed.
CorporatePiggy on February 6, 2012 at 9:40 AM