The 10 projects Olbermann should consider next
Go to Fox News: Yes, it sounds insane (for both sides). But think about it. Every other lightweight “liberal” that Fox tries to toss on the air to make things “fair and balanced” has no real gravitas. Olbermann? When it comes to television, he is the voice of the left. There’s your balance (screw fair – nobody with a brain that hasn’t been pickled by Kool-Aid believes that nonsense). Can you image what kind of ratings Death Star would be created if he joined Fox News? It would turn MSNBC to dust and leave CNN so much further behind in the ratings that it would be battling BET for numbers. It would also allow Roger Ailes to lord it over every liberal in this country and he might swallow whatever pride he has about Olbermann to have that kind of club at his disposal.
And – wait for it – it would be the most audacious reach across the aisle in television history. The left would have to actually tune their television to Fox News to find Olbermann. And the right would have to suffer through all those promos for his show – like sizzle reel Kryptonite – before settling in on Bill O’Reilly. A nation heals.
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Better idea: Let Hollywood Reporter give him a job.
Blake on January 22, 2011 at 5:06 PM
This is absurd.
Olbermann has stated that Fox News has done more harm to this country than the KKK. And that “Fixed News” is a fraud. And they aren’t a real network. And they’re evil. And corrupt. And on and on and on….
He’s personally attack Roger Ailes. And Rupert Murdoch. And Bill O’Reilly. Repeatedly.
O’Reilly wouldn’t stand for it. He’d leave.
There is zero chance of this and it’s absurd to even suggest it.
SteveMG on January 22, 2011 at 5:07 PM
1. White House Civility Czar (shamelessly stolen from commenter at gaypatriot)
2. Insufferable power-crazed authoritarian elementary school hall monitor. (his true calling)
3. Mouth of Sauron
American Elephant on January 22, 2011 at 5:12 PM
Ugh, HR may be right about that as a business move, but it would sure be hard to take.
Maybe limit his exposure to a show late Sat or Sun night… co-anchored by Al Sharpton, Alan Combs, and Ellis Pellican.
petefrt on January 22, 2011 at 5:13 PM
In a fair and balanced debate on facts and merit, Olbermann would get his clock cleaned each and every time – and he knows it. There is no way he would ever put himself into that position.
Rebar on January 22, 2011 at 5:14 PM
Olbermann’s next project should be running with scissors.
Ronnie on January 22, 2011 at 5:14 PM
I have a better suggestion for Olby.
How about……THERAPY!!!! 😀
capejasmine on January 22, 2011 at 5:18 PM
Parking officer – he’d fit right in.
OldEnglish on January 22, 2011 at 5:19 PM
Take a long walk off a short pier?
Bolt a JATO to his car and attempt to outrun his idiocy?
Make idiotic claims like he invented the question mark?
Accuse chestnuts of being lazy and right-wing shills for the snack food industry?
Draw a lipstick face on his bum and kiss his own a$$?
catmman on January 22, 2011 at 5:24 PM
C’mon, Fox viewers still have to suffer the idiocy of Skeletor every now and then. How much more must we suffer?
JammieWearingFool on January 22, 2011 at 5:25 PM
Keith on Fox…with Ollie North on one side and Chuck Norris on the other? Yeah, I’d tune in. Maybe the three of them could interview Rep. Allen West. Show Title? ‘Crosshairs’
michaelo on January 22, 2011 at 5:28 PM
I dunno, wouldn’t surprise me if FNC took a look at adding Olby to their stellar current lineup. If you have Sheppy-Poo Smith, Jerry Rivers, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and regular appearances from Alan Colmes, Olby’s a perfect fit: idiotic, slavishly pandering to his pals and arrogant and rude to those who don’t
worshipagree with him.It’d be hard to tell he was even there!
MrScribbler on January 22, 2011 at 5:35 PM
Just some suggestions:
– Work the drive-thru at the local McDonalds
– Become a Monk and take a vow of silence
– Do a show like Dirty Jobs
– Press Secretary for CongressWomaaan Sheila Jackson-Lee
– Sensitivity trainer for the New Black Panthers
– Weatherman in Siberia
– Mosquito research in the Amazon
– Crash test dummy
– Professional wrestler
– Just disappear
DAT60A3 on January 22, 2011 at 5:42 PM
Nominate your suggestions for where Keith should work next here.
American Elephant on January 22, 2011 at 5:43 PM
Endorsing bubble bath products.
Sanjoboy on January 22, 2011 at 5:45 PM
“Go to England”
That’s a winner for him.
forest on January 22, 2011 at 5:49 PM
Ailes should offer him a position with the following condition:
On every show, he must debate Liz Cheney.
Then Ailes can call him out for being a wimp when he rejects the offer.
mockmook on January 22, 2011 at 6:02 PM
ROFL!!!
capejasmine on January 22, 2011 at 6:34 PM
My husband also recommended a job at FOX…as the door man.
mizflame98 on January 22, 2011 at 6:40 PM
I’m shocked the overpaid commies running PBS / CPB haven’t already offered a set-aside job for Keef as they have done so for so many other DNC political hacks such as Skippy “blame whitey cop” Gates, Gwen “out to lunch” Ifill, Silly Billy “Hiccup” Moyers, Judy “weeping because GWB won” Woodruff, and that perpetually angry former head of the NAACP whose name is, thankfully, forgotten for the moment.
viking01 on January 22, 2011 at 6:42 PM
Since Billy Mays has passed and the Sham-Wow goof may be in the slammer for assaulting a hooker…. well Keef… there’s your true calling.
viking01 on January 22, 2011 at 6:49 PM
Too bad for Keith, kinda funny for the rest of us, but the sad truth is, he won’t be hired by any television network. Everybody has a “top” in their career life, and he has experienced his.
Tim Zank on January 22, 2011 at 6:57 PM
They’re all lightweights. Their only source of power is not having a conservative around to challenge their absurdity.
John the Libertarian on January 22, 2011 at 7:07 PM
Hey Uberman , the farmer down the street from me was saying just the other day he was looking for a good bovine fart-sucker….if you’re interested I can drop him a line!
cableguy615 on January 22, 2011 at 7:10 PM
What ? Seriously ?
cableguy615 on January 22, 2011 at 7:11 PM
How about Keith replacing Bob in the male enhancement drug commercials.
meci on January 22, 2011 at 7:14 PM
LION TAMER!!!!
BigWyo on January 22, 2011 at 7:17 PM
Crash Test Dummy.
(With apologies to the extant line of synthetic-headed Dummies.)
profitsbeard on January 22, 2011 at 7:25 PM
You owe these fellas an apology too sport !
cableguy615 on January 22, 2011 at 7:45 PM
Billy Mays the bearded high-voiced pitchman for various oxygenating cleansers and other TV products died of a heart attack (maybe drug related, if not the immediate cause) at home in Florida probably now close to two years ago. The Sham-wow peddler (a different person) apparently got hauled in (was it last year ?) for some sort of soliciting rap where he roughed up the call-girl .
That may open up at least two job spots for Keef to hawk herbal remedy scams, get rich quick schemes and various other crap to the unwary. So, Keef could still get face time on MSLSD pimping garbage products during the commercial breaks of his former show.
viking01 on January 22, 2011 at 7:54 PM
1. Get help.
2. see 1 above.
3. ditto
4. encore
5. again
6. can you not take a hint?
7. Hello!
8. F*ck
9. Off
10. Now
Basilsbest on January 22, 2011 at 10:05 PM