Howard Portnoy already covered this story, but I thought I could add my two cents. First, I don’t think this guy was a zombie (he probably wasn’t), but just in case this guy was Patient Zero, there are a few things I would like to say. One, keep abreast of what’s going on in your neighborhood. One day you’re reading that some lone guy is eating another man’s face, the next day, a horde of the undead is smashing down your door. Be vigilant! However, given that you visit this site and are reading this post, I think you have that taken care of.

Second, don’t underestimate a zombie outbreak! You think you’d have plenty of time to get things together and get organized. You are wrong! It doesn’t take much for civilization to collapse and a swarm of walking dead certainly meets the criteria of a civilization ending threat. In fact,  according to researchers from Carleton University and The University of Ottawa, there is support for the theory that a zombie outbreak would lead to societal collapse unless immediate and decisive action was taken to combat the zombie menace. Considering the government’s response to Katrina, what faith do you have that such decisive action would be taken and such action would be carried out properly?

Finally, just in case civilization does collapse, be ready and willing to keep going. There won’t be much to live for except your duty to carry on the species. Hot Air MIGHT still be around, I’m pretty sure AP would be lost to the zombie hordes (I’m not bullish on beta-males surviving the zombie onslaught) or to suicide (lets be honest, if one bad poll can make him nervous, how would he react to a million walking ghouls?), but Ed has a family to fight for and his living in MN might allow him to escape to cold climates where the undead can’t follow. If he can keep the site running, then their might be hope for us after all.

With tongue firmly in cheek, I do hope you enjoy the post.

Now some might ask why my first post at The Greenroom concerns a non-political topic such as a (seemingly) overpaid baseball player finally getting his first home run and not something more deserving of your attention. First, because Allahpundit does it too and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Second, as a Cardinals fan, I have a morbid curiosity of how our ex-superstar performs for his new team. Finally, and more importantly, it touches upon something that is not only prevalent in the private sector, but in the government too. That is, throwing money at a problem and hoping to see improvement.

You see, the Angels hoped to walk right into the World Series by going on a free-agent shopping spree and many “experts” thought they’d be successful. Yet, as of the morning of May 6th, 2012 they stand at 11-17, good for last in the A.L. West. When it comes to government spending, you hear “experts” tell us that lots of government spending is the answer for whatever the current crisis is at the moment. Whether that be getting out of a recession or improving education, you hear we just need to invest (i.e. spend) in x and we’ll be better off. Despite these assurances, we keep spending and we get results like this.

So a word of warning to all of you out there, whenever a politician says we have to make vital investments in so and so, cast a skeptical eye.

Houston’s back into the lead 17-10.    No predictions on who’s going to win this one.

Update:Final score Texans 31, Bengals 10

Texans/Bengals Box Score

The Texans have earned a date in Baltimore against the Ravens after winning the franchise’s first playoff game at home against the Bengals 31-10.

Do the Lions have a chance against the Saints at home?  Or, in the Tebow-eese sense, do the Saints get thrown to the Lions?

Update:  Final score: Saints 45, Lions 28

Saints/Lions Box Score

The Saints move on to face the 49ers in the divisional round. For the Saints to advance to their third NFC championship game in six seasons, they’ll have to do something they’ve never done before — win a road playoff game.

Bottom line:  You’re not going to win many games against a team that is #1 in team offense, (Saints), and your team, (Detroit), is ranked #23 in total team defense.

(note: The Saints are ranked #24 in total team defense for the season)

We’ll see what happens next week when this high powered offense meets a San Francisco team that ranks #4 in total defense, #2 in points allowed (14.3), and #1 in rushing yards allowed, (77.3)

Falcons @ Giants

Offensively, these two teams are not far apart with the Giants at #8 and the Falcons at #10.  On defense the Falcons rank #12 overall in the league and #6 in rushing yards allowed, (97.0).  Conversely, the Giants #27 in total team defense giving up an average of 121 yds on the ground, and 255 yds through the air.  With the home field advantage going to the G-Men, this game should be fairly close when they reach the fourth quarter.  It could come down to who has the fewest turnovers or special teams play.

Steelers @ Broncos

Ben vs. Tim.  The Steelers visit the confines of Mile High Stadium ranked #1 in total defense in the league with Denver at #20.  On offense, the Steelers are ranked #12 with the Broncos at #23, however they both rank towards the bottom of the league in average points scored, Steelers #21 at 20.3 and Broncos #25 at 19.3.  If the Steelers play up to their defensive ranking, they should come out on top of this road game setting up a date with New England in Foxboro.

Oh, wait. It’s not The Onion but the New York Daily News that is reporting this development with a straight face. It is the latest chapter in a continuing saga that on Sunday found our noble protesters beset by hordes of the homeless who had descended on their neo-paradise and were helping themselves to the occupiers’ free “food, bedding, … clothing, … books and medical supplies” without giving anything back. Oh, the humanity!

The Daily News article quotes security team member Paul Isaac:

If you want to be part of our group, you have to be civilized. Unfortunately, some people come to disrupt the peace.

Careful there, Mr. Isaac. You’re beginning to sound a lot like the people who actually live in the community surrounding Zuccotti Park in their references to you and your fellow squatters:

The cowbells start at 4 a.m. and the drumming goes past 10 p.m. A lot of people are very frustrated. A lot of people are concerned about the safety of our kids.

It would seem as though the time has come for the protesters to fold up their tents and go back to their real lives, humdrum as that may seem. It doesn’t appear that the hopes liberal observers had for the movement—that it would evolve into a politically powerful Tea Party of the left—are likely to be realized. Public support has been dwindling. Even the staunchest of the movement’s allies in the mainstream media are beginning to wake and smell the stench emanating from Zuccotti Parks everywhere.

Here is Froma Harrop:

Occupiers, time to quit while you’re ahead—for you’re a little less ahead with every confrontation involving police or other civic authorities. The skirmishes provide unflattering visuals for the ordinary folks at home, even those sharing your angst and anger over the financial-industry takeover of our economy.

Harrop writes that in Oakland, where some of the most violent exchanges with police occurred, demonstrators were chanting à la Vietnam, “Now the whole world is watching.” She now advises the movement as a whole to embrace another line from the era of Vietnam: “Declare victory and leave.”

I’m not sure what the victory is in this instance unless the goal of the battle was to persuade the public of the impoverished state of thinking of present-day liberal activists, who act first and plan later.

As for slogans for the movement, another possibility is suggested in the Daily News article, which quotes 19-year-old Oregonian Kia Moyer-Sims, who is described as having camped out at Zuccotti Park since day one of the occupation:

The history books will say ‘They occupied Wall Street’ Not ‘Somebody stole somebody’s backpack.’

Are you sure this isn’t The Onion?

Related Articles

• Occupy Wall Streeters complain they have been ‘occupied’
• Empathy alert: OWS to cut back on meals to curb “bum” invasion
• Pew poll: Public now divided over Occupy Wall Street
• OWS becomes microcosm of big government: Protesters target themselves
• Mayor Bloomberg: No more Mr. Nice Guy to Wall Street protesters
• OWS protesters report they are being robbed—by other protesters
• Occupy Wall Streeters stink—literally

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Where can you find the radio station nearest you to hear Baldwin/McCullough? Simple enough… Click here! Where can you go to see it on television? Check your local listings, or on-screen guide. The fun is just kicking off for our television simulcast this week number 1 of the new Baldwin/McCullough MegaCast:

ON THE BALDWIN/McCULLOUGH MegaCast:
1. Dominique Strauss-Kahn may have caught a huge break in the case against him. Though ironically with all the evidence that has come out against his accuser this week, they still have not dropped the charges as of yet. But Stephen Baldwin wants to know which is worse being judged by a trial overseen by the American press, or living the kind of double standard life that makes you suspect to treatment exactly as the former IMF president is now facing? Your calls: 877.572.8446.

2. When XtreMEDIA this week produced the newest promotional spot for the best-selling “No He Can’t: How Barack Obama is dismantling Hope and Change” it was met with strong criticism by some online. People of faith were saying, “Praying for your leaders is what we should be doing.” So Kevin McCullough wants to know from those who do criticize his new book on such grounds, is it even fair to point out a person’s record? 877.572.8446!

BONUS: Why KMC blames Breitbart for the leak of Weiner’s X-Rated Revelation.

Baldwin/McCullough Resources:

KMC’s BRAND NEW BOOK is now available:

The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be .
MuscleHead Revolution: Overturning Liberalism with Commonsense Thinking .
The Death and Life of Gabriel Phillips
The Unusual Suspect: My Calling to the new Hardcore Movement of Faith .

For some reason, the Dutch government has suddenly decided to wage war on marijuana. As most foreigners undoubtedly know, the Dutch ‘tolerate’ the use of this soft drug. Heck, it’s one of the primary reasons hundreds of thousands of tourists flock to Amsterdam every year; that and the famous Red Light District.

Well, the government has now decided that enough is enough. Justice minister Ivo Opstelten announced last week that he’ll introduce a so-called weed-card.  Dutchmen who want to smoke weed have to show this card to the coffeeshop owner. If they don’t own one, they can’t buy themselves a joint.

Although the card is obviously an annoyance to many Dutchmen, the ones truly hurt by it are the tourists; the card will only be available to Dutch citizens.

The Dutch tourist branch is, therefore, not exactly charmed by Opstelten’s plan. And why would they? They could very well face losses of hundreds of millions of euros – and that at a time when Europe’s economies are already struggling.

Not only will this plan be enormously costly, it’s also likely to be extremely ineffective: many tourists will undoubtedly find a Dutchman willing to buy some drugs for them (against a minor fee, of course). Perhaps they’ll even be able to buy it themselves – not in a coffee shop but at a street corner.

Which brings me to my third (and final) objection to Opstelten’s unsavory plan: drug dealers will undoubtedly take over the streets. Heck, perhaps even entire neighborhoods. And how is the government going to combat that? With the tiny, useless Dutch police force? Right. Well, that’s at least going to be… entertaining.

Being tough on crime is a wonderful idea, but declaring war on soft drugs isn’t exactly a smart move; especially not when a country is facing many other – real, rather than imagined – problems.

* Although I’m pro-legalization of soft drugs, by the way, I don’t use it myself. Just to make that clear.

This post first appeared at Right Across The Atlantic: the Internet-home for conservative and libertarian Europeans and Americans. Follow me on Twitter here.

It’s been said that a lot of great ideas can be killed off just by running the numbers. So let’s run a few, shall we? The question is whether a steerable 13 terawatt beam can be used as a weapon. A lot of that depends on how wide the beam is when it reaches the planet. So let’s try some examples, and see what kind of power density you’d get, OK? Just to make sure everyone is on the same page, a "terawatt" is a trillion watts. 13 terawatts is 13,000,000,000,000 watts.

If the beam is half a kilometer squared (250,000 square meters), then the power density is 52 million watts per square meter.
If the beam is a square kilometer (a million square meters), then it’s 13 million watts per square meter.
If the beam is 100 square kilometers (a hundred million square meters), then it’s 130,000 watts per square meter.

And if the beam is 100 square kilometers, then the system is impractical because the receiving stations would be infeasible.

My microwave oven has an internal area of about a quarter of a square meter, and it’s 1100 watts. It does a really good job of cooking food, and if anything alive was put in there, it wouldn’t survive long. That’s a power density of about 4000 watts per square meter (rounded). The 100 square kilometer beam described above would have about 30 times that power density. The quarter square kilometer one would have 13,000 times the power density.

Glenn says,

Well, on the old O’Neill/JPL solar power satellite studies, the beam density was very low — low enough that birds could fly over the receiver without being harmed. But that plan involved satellites in geosynchronous orbit. I don’t know if it applies to lunar power-beaming.

The location doesn’t matter. What does matter is that those studies assumed power generation on the order of hundreds of megawatts. This hypothetical 13 terawatt beam is 4 orders of magnitude stronger.

Dr. Richard B. Hoover, an astrobiologist with NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center, has traveled to remote areas in Antarctica, Siberia, and Alaska, amongst others, for over ten years now, collecting and studying meteorites. He gave FoxNews.com early access to the out-of-this-world research, published late Friday evening in the March edition of the Journal of Cosmology. In it, Hoover describes the latest findings in his study of an extremely rare class of meteorites, called CI1 carbonaceous chondrites — only nine such meteorites are known to exist on Earth.

Though it may be hard to swallow, Hoover is convinced that his findings reveal fossil evidence of bacterial life within such meteorites, the remains of living organisms from their parent bodies — comets, moons and other astral bodies. By extension, the findings suggest we are not alone in the universe, he said.

While interesting, Gawker quickly threw cold water all over the story, claiming that this is far from a new story and the author of the paper has been questioned about such claims many times in the past.

As much as we love aliens, this is not news. Hoover has been claiming to have fossil evidence of alien bacterial life for years. Here he is in 2004, on some website called panspermia.org, with the exact same ‘discovery’ reported in today’s Fox News article

And in 2007 presented a paper at a conference for the Society of Professional Instrumentation Engineers titled “Microfossils of cyanobacteria in carbonaceous meteroites”—same findings, same meteorite. Just last month in a press release by the Journal of Cosmology, Dr. Hoover crowed that “We have found fossil evidence of microbes in meteors which are older than this solar system.”

It’s not a new idea, but it’s still intriguing. Those who follow these things are probably already familiar with the concept of panspermia. The theory holds that the galaxy – and perhaps the entire universe – is far from being dead and empty, but actually chock full of bacterial level life riding around on comets, meteors and other space debris. And as proto-planets form, these cosmic hitchhikers crash land on any available surface and kick off the evolution of life, molding their progeny to fit the local environment.

If true, then every chunk of rock in the cosmos could be bristling with living things, each sharing the same root DNA sequences. So when our new alien overlords do eventually land and demand to be taken to see Obama, they might look a lot more like us than, say, Sigourney Weaver’s nemesis in the 1979 classic, Alien.

So here’s the big photo op for ET. What say you? Is this life? Or is it the result of handing Ron White an etch-a-sketch after one too many glasses of scotch?

As some of you are aware, earlier this week I published a post that was chockerblock full of pictures documenting my adventures at CPAC. Well, included in that post were pictures of myself with the hilarious Red Eye guys, the hysterical Stephen Kruiser (who is a frequent guest on Red Eye, as well as the host of the Kruiser Kabana), and the lovely blogger Sarah Rumpf. (See the pictures below.)

[Above is a picture with me and Greg Gutfeld, the host of the Fox show Red Eye.]

[Above is a picture of me with Stephen Kruiser (in a purple shirt to my immediate right), and Bill Schulz (to my left) and Andy Levy of Red Eye fame.]

[The above picture is of me and the beautiful Sarah Rumpf, who is the proprietor of the blog Sunshine State Sarah.]

This past week, Stephen was kind enough to pass along the two pictures that my husband took of me with the Red Eye guys–and some pictures of Sarah taken with the Red Eye guys–to the Red Eye producers. Well, on Friday night, multiple pictures of Sarah and me posing with the Red Eye cast appeared in a photo collage on Red Eye! (Go to approximately five minutes into the video embedded below to see multiple pictures of Sarah and me posing with the Red Eye cast members.)

As I previously stated in my prior post, always bring a camera with you everywhere you go at CPAC.

Oh, and thanks for letting me brag a bit. I can’t wait to see you all again next year!

PS–Robert Stacy McCain was kind enough to write a cool post about Sarah’s and my “brush with fame”.

PPS–Thanks so much to Brian Henchey, host of The New England Job Show (who is pictured in my earlier post), for alerting me–via Facebook–to the fact that my pictures were featured on Red Eye.

This column is cross-posted from Parcbench, and it is also posted at Right Wing News, The Minority Report and Hillbillypolitics.

[A big thank you to Richard Hornsby for the photo]

This past Wednesday through Saturday, The American Conservative Union sponsored the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. CPAC was open to all conservative activists who wanted to attend. This year, I had the honor of being a credentialed blogger for CPAC, and, thus, was able to sit in the bloggers’ lounge that was sponsored by Freedom Works. Tabitha Hale, the brains behind the bloggers’ row who put the whole thing together, really outdid herself. (All attendees should participate in a quiet “golf clap” for Tabitha.)

Folks, I had a blast this past week. Seriously, if any of you ever get the opportunity to attend CPAC, I highly suggest going. In fact, there are three very good reasons to attend CPAC next year (or any similar national conservative activist conference in the future). So, without much fanfare and ado, let’s get right to it.

1.) CPAC is a great place to hear some awesome political speeches, and meet many famous conservative political activists and politicians.

This year at CPAC, participants had the opportunity to listen to many famous pundits and politicians speak. Tim Pawlenty, Rick Perry, Haley Barbour, Ron Paul, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, David Horowitz and Andrew Breitbart were some of the many famous speakers that were there. However, there were three speakers in particular that I, personally, thought brought down the house.

Herman Cain (who is a radio talk show host and the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza) gave a speech that greatly exceeded the expectations of many people in the political class. Ed Morrissey–who wrote that Cain “stole the show” on Friday afternoon–has done a good job of collecting many of the highlights of Cain’s speech (the embed is below):

Cain said that the American Dream is being attacked by what he calls “the -ations” — legislation, regulation, and taxation. He continued that Republicans need to repeal and replace health care reform, and also “throw out” the “messed up tax code” and replace it with a new system.

The “objective of the liberals is to destroy America,” he Cain continued, but “if you can get a liberal to engage in an intelligent in the first place, ask them to strip away labels.”

Like, for example, Cain said, when liberals call anyone who disagrees with Obama a “racist.”

“They call me racist too just because I disagree with a President who happens to be black,” he continued. He told the crowd: “You are not racists — you are patriots.”

However, my favorite part of Herman Cain’s speech came when he said the following at around 8:10-8:20:

“Stupid people are ruining America.”

My husband and I nearly fell off of our chairs laughing when we heard that.

Then, on Saturday afternoon, Ann Coulter gave an excellent speech that had many good moments in it (particularly, from 4:40-5:15, 5:40-6:30, 7:40-8:20 and 12:50-13:45). (Oh, and Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses was a cool choice for an entrance song).

However, Coulter was absolutely on fire during the Q&A that followed her speech (Q&A is her forte’). I would say that the best moment of her Q&A session with the crowd was when someone asked her, “Who is your least favorite Democrat?” (at 10:48-11:30 in the embed below), because Coulter responded by giving the following answer:

“That’s like asking me my least favorite disease. I can’t do my least favorite, I’m sorry”.

Then, she quickly quipped, “Cancer”. Again, my husband and I almost fell over laughing.

Now, immediately following Ann Coulter came Representative Allen West, the keynote speaker of CPAC. Before starting his speech, though, Congressman West was kind enough to visit the bloggers’ lounge and take questions from the bloggers there.

Oh, and Colonel West was gracious enough to take a picture with me as well.

[Thanks again to Richard Hornsby for the picture.]

And finally, Congressman West gave an incredible stem-winder that finished up CPAC with a bang. He was introduced below by Sargent Jason Auburn who guards the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. As Congressman West walked onto the stage, you could hear Right Now by Van Halen playing. All I have to say is Dammit, you know that you’re at CPAC when you see a colonel–introduced by sergeant who guards the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier–walk on the stage while Van Halen is playing. (None of that wussified“Yes We Can” foolishness over here. And yes, wussified is indeed a word–look it up.)

Now, onto the second reason why CPAC is a must for any aspiring conservative activist.

2.) CPAC is a great place to meet people and network, network, network.

First of all, I obviously can’t stress the whole networking part enough. It is one thing to converse with your fellow bloggers/activists online or via email–it is a whole ‘nother ball of wax to meet them face to face. When you meet someone in person, you can get a much better feel for who they really are by their body language or facial expressions–which are things that cannot possibly be conveyed by simply communicating with someone online. Furthermore, if you form a personal bond with someone at a conference like CPAC–even if you only talk to the person for, say, fifteen minutes–given the choice, they are much more likely to link to, or pimp, your stuff than someone that they think is a total douche (no matter how good of a writer the douche in question might be). (Hey, I don’t make the rules–those are just the facts. You have to accept the world how it is, not how you want it to be.)

Moreover, at CPAC, I had the unique privilege of meeting some of the most iconic bloggers/writers online. It was a phenomenal experience. I mean, it is so totally cool to actually meet people that you’ve been reading or conversing with for years online. (See the photos below that my husband took in and around the bloggers’ lounge).

The above picture is of Daily Caller reporter, and CNN contributor Matt Lewis on my left and Garrett Quinn of The Boston Globe (or Boston.com) on my right. Both of these gentlemen are extremely knowledgeable about politics, and Matt Lewis told me interesting stories about his experiences covering the NH primary. I highly suggest picking their brains if you ever get the chance.

Above is a photo of me and Caleb Howe, a man who needs no introduction. He is the assistant editor of Redstate.com, and is a legend in the blogging community. The dude is just too cool for color TV, and he makes any party that he attends teh awesome.

Above is a picture of me with the totally cool editor of the highly influential Right Wing News, John Hawkins (where I am also a contributor).

Above is a photo of me and my husband (Chris Fleetwood) that was taken right after Herman Cain spoke on Friday afternoon.

Above is a picture of myself with the awesome, iconic Ed Morrissey of Hot Air. He is the driving force behind what becomes newsworthy in the conservative blogosphere. A link by him is huge–nay, monumental. Enough said.

Above is a picture of myself with Fingers Malloy of FTR Radio and Parcbench (where I am also a contributor). Fingers is an intimidating looking guy, but don’t let the mohawk fool you–he’s a real sweetheart.

Above is a picture of Jeff Dunetz who is the proprietor of Yid With The Lid. Jeff is a great blogger who blogs at all of the “Big” sites.

Above is a picture of Doug Welch, otherwise known as the popular blogger Stix 1972. (Doug also blogs with me over at The Minority Report, and can fix any technical issues that you might have.)

The above photo is of lovely Adrienne Royer (proprietor of the awesome blog Cosmopolitan Conservative) on my left and talented writer Warner Todd Houston on my right.

Above is a picture of me with the great Jimmie Bise Jr–who is the proprietor of The Sundries Shack, and who also blogs with me in The Green Room.

Above is a picture of Oregon Tea Party head (and former congressional candidate) John Kuzmanich on my right, and a blogger from Red County named Jeff Reynolds on my left.

Above is a picture of me with two adorable, talented, young bloggers who make me feel old–Amy Miller of Pundit League and Alex Knepper.

Above is a photo of me with the adorable Tabitha Hale who was the brains and the force behind the bloggers’ lounge at CPAC (and who is also a contributor to Redstate.com). Again, she deserves a round of applause for her outstanding organizational abilities.

The above picture is of me and Nice Deb who owns the excellent blog Nice Deb. My husband and I had dinner with her and John Hawkins later in the evening, and she was very….well, nice. She just exudes this whole Midwestern class/politeness from every pore. Her blog is quite aptly named.

And, here is another photo of my buddy, the awesomely, awesome John Hawkins (with a myriad of boggers scurrying around in the background).

And finally, here he is ladies and gentlemen. The man, the myth, the legend who made the fedora cool–it’s the one and only Robert Stacy McCain (with me) in the above picture. This guy is only the coolest cat in the conservative blogosphere. Getting linked on his blog means that you’ve finally arrived. Enough said.

Oh, and I almost forgot to give you all one final piece of advice before we move on to point number three. ALWAYS BRING A CAMERA EVERYWHERE YOU GO AT CPAC. Why? Because you never know who you are going to run into there. For instance, when I went downstairs to get a sandwich I ran into Johnathan Martin of Politico. He was an extremely nice guy and we talked for a good ten minutes, but I had forgotten my camera upstairs. I never made that mistake again. So the next day, when we went to McDonald’s, I took my camera with me and look who I ran into:

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, that would be Alfonzo Rachel of PJTV who is famous for his “ZoBama” impersonations–and, who was personally attacked by Charles Blow for being part of a “minstrel show” (because liberals are all “tolerant” and stuff).

And then, when we returned to the hotel lobby, I ran into Jim Hoft–otherwise known as Gateway Pundit. He is pretty famous in blogging world and was mentioned by William Kristol on Fox News Sunday for breaking open the Van Jones story. (Oh, and he’s a very nice guy as well.)

Now, onto the third reason why CPAC is the bomb for all budding conservative activists.

3.) You get to party like a rockstar in the Kruiser Cabana with the Red Eye guys and various other conservative celebrities.

During every major conservative convention, like BlogCon or CPAC, Stephen Kruiser of PJTV is kind enough to host awesome parties in his room–or, turn his room into the “Kruiser Cabana”. Stephen is just a stitch (as we say down south). And, besides working for PJTV, he is also a stand up comic and is a frequent guest on Fox’s Red Eye. Therefore, Kruiser tends to get a lot of high profile guests to come to his parties (like, for instance, the guys from Red Eye). In fact, the Kruiser Cabana was so kickin’ this year, that Stephen Kruiser was named CPAC’s Miss Congeniality.

[Below are some pictures that we took in the Kruiser Cabana, as well as at other CPAC hot spots.]

Above is a picture of me with Stephen Kruiser (in a purple shirt to my immediate right), and Bill Schulz (to my left) and Andy Levy of Red Eye fame.

.

Above is a picture of Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld and me. How cool is that? (Gee, I sound like highschooler.)

Oh, and here is a little bipartisan love for everyone. On my right is conservative writer Philip Klein of American Spectator and Politico, and on my left is liberal writer Tommy Christopher of Mediate. (They both know a lot about politics and are awesome to hang out with, by the way.)

Above is a picture of the lovely Pamela Geller who became quite famous when she discussed her opposition to the Ground Zero Mosque on 60 Minutes.

And, above is a picture myself with the lovely Kristina Ribali and the lovely Pamela Geller. Did I mention that they were lovely?

Above is a picture of Stephen Kruiser and my husband. I think that they are both cuties, but I’m probably a little biased. (I’m married to one, and I had a blast at the other one’s parties.)

And, above is a picture of the awesome Ben Howe of Redstate.com (brother of Caleb Howe–awesomeness runs in their family) standing next to my adorable hubby.

Now, that handsome man in the tri-corner hat above is frequent Fox News Business panelist Paul Erickson. He threw a killer party earlier that evening. (Yes, there is life outside the Kruiser Cabana at CPAC. But hey, Stephen, you’re still Miss Congeniality and no one can take that away from you.)

And, above is my good friend Amy Miller posing with me at Mr. Erickson’s party. (She’s so cute isn’t she?)

Above is the always awesome Robert Stacy McCain and the very gracious Paul Erickson. (Hmmm….I don’t know what I like better, the fedora or the tri-corner hat.)

Pictured above is me with the always adorable Alexa Moutevalis and the always awesome Caleb Howe. (Remember, awesomeness runs in the Howe family.)

The above picture is of myself with Steve Eggleston (proprietor of the great blog No Runny Eggs) and the always awesome Ben Howe.

The five cute guys in the above photo are as follows (from left to right): Kevin Eder (who runs the Facebook and Twitter pages for the Media Research Center and Newsbusters), Stephen Gutowski of Human Events and Eyeblast TV, Fingers Malloy, Chris Fleetwood and Steve Eggleston.

And, here we have the iconic Robert Stacy McCain on my right and John Howting on my left, who is president of Miami Universities ISI Chapter. (Man, those college Republicans are just so darn cute, aren’t they?)

Oh, and here is another picture of the beautiful Kristina Ribali. I’m sure all of you gentlemen reading this just hate seeing her again.

Above is a shot of me talking to Da Tech Guy, who is one of my all time favorite bloggers–and favorite people–in the conservative blogosphere. (Oh, and check out his cool fedora!)

Above is a photo of me talking to the always charming Christopher Renner. (Hmmm….what’s better, the fedora, the tri-corner hat, or the cowboy hat? Decisions, decisions.)

The above picture is of me and the lovely Sarah Rumpf, who is the proprietor of the blog Sunshine State Sarah. This was my first time meeting Sarah, but she struck me as a, well….very sunny person–not to mention, she was a heck of a lot of fun to hang out with.

In the above picture (starting from left to right), you’ve got the adorable Jenny Erickson whispering to the uber-cool and super hilarious Larry O’Connor from Breitbart TV. And next to them, is Dr. Gina Loudon (in the grey) whispering to Meredith Dake, Mr. O’Connor’s very pretty producer.

And, in this picture, I am posing with the lovely Dr. Gina Loudon on my right (yes, that Dr. Gina Loudon who smacked down sleazy VF columnist Michael Gross), and the lovely and talented Jenny Erickson on my left.

Above is a photo of John Hawkins and Nice Deb at a killer Thai restaurant called The Thai Kitchen (they have great red chicken curry). John, Deb, my husband and I ventured over there after CPAC on Saturday night prior to heading over to the Kruiser Cabana.

The above picture is of me and charming, polite Glen Asbury, who is the proprietor of the popular blog Ramblings.

Above is a picture of a gentlemen by the name of Brian Henchey who is the host of The New England Job Show. I just met Brian late that evening in the Kruiser Cabana when I blurted out to him that he “had great hair”, and then asked to take a picture with him. He laughed, thanked me for the compliment, and then politely complied with my request. However, Brian turned out to be a great conversationalist and an all around funny dude; therefore, I really hope to see him again at CPAC next year.

And finally, rounding out my collection of party pics is this final parting shot of me and Stephen Kruiser. (Oh, how I will miss the Kruiser Cabana). One more thing. That button on my hat says, “Dale Peterson for President”.

So, in conclusion, I think that I’ve concisely summed up why CPAC is a must for any and every aspiring conservative activist–not to mention, why it’s truly a “can’t miss” event if you want to meet the who’s who of the conservative blogging/activist world.

However, I just have one more thing to add before I leave you all. I think that next year’s theme song for CPAC’s keynote speaker should be Dreams by Van Halen, because it’s got a very patriotic video that mainly consists of incredible footage of The Blue Angels flying and performing stunts. Since we had one Van Halen song this year, why not have another one next year?

And on that note, I say that I truly can’t wait to see you all again next year!

PS–I took those hats home with me that I was wearing in those photos. (You can clearly see them poking out of my tote-bags in the above picture taken outside of Reagan International Airport on Sunday afternoon.)

PPS–I see you over there doing air guitar at your computer.

This column is cross-posted from Parcbench, and it is also posted at The Minority Report, Right Wing News and Hillbillypolitics.

Cat is summoned for jury duty in Boston; court rejects owners’ appeal to disqualify him

Boston resident Sal Esposito has been called to jury duty, but there’s one thing standing in the way of his ability to serve: He’s a cat.

Massachusetts couple Anna and Guy Esposito received a jury duty summons for their feline friend this month, who they had listed as a household resident on the 2010 Census.

“Sal is a member of the family so I listed him on the last Census form under pets but there has clearly been a mix-up,” Anna told local TV station WHDH. “I read the whole thing and I said, ‘Oh my God, how could he go, he’s a cat?’”

Even after being alerted to this intrusive offense, the Big Govt. machine in Boston turned a deaf ear to the couple’s complaints, rejecting their request for a disqualification. This happened even after being informed that Sal was “unable to speak and understand English,” and receiving a letter from Sal’s vet indicating that he was not actually a human being.

Sal is currently scheduled to report to court on March 23rd. With luck, one of our readers from Beantown can be there with a camera.

Christmas is my very favorite time of year. Why? Well, I think that Ebenezer Scrooge’s nephew, Fred Holywell, nailed it with regard to why Christmas is such a special time of year when he said the following:

There are a great many things from which I have derived good, from which I have not profited, Christmas among the rest. But I’ve always thought of Christmastime as a good time, a kindly, forgiving, charitable time; a time when men and women seem, by one consent, to open their shut-up hearts freely to their fellow creatures. So though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver into my pocket, I do believe that it has done me good, and I say “God bless it.”

So, in the spirit of Mr. Holywell’s sentiment, I would like to provide six of my all time favorite Christmas videos just to put everyone in the Christmas spirit.

Pretty much everyone remembers the hilarious Saturday Night Live skit where Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan sing “I Wish it Was Christmas Today”. Well, the video below shows Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz starting off the song, but then Julian Casablancas of The Strokes finishes off the song. What is so amazing about this video, is that it demonstrates how a silly little ditty can become an awesome song just by having a cool rock star donning shades–accompanied by a great band like The Roots–singing it.

Next on my list of favorite Christmas videos, is this one of Andy Williams singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (my all time favorite Christmas song). Just the decorations alone in the video make it worth watching, even if you don’t like the song.

Now, comes the theme songs from my two favorite Christmas specials–A Charlie Brown Christmas Special and How The Grinch Stole Christmas. First up is “Christmas Time is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Interesting anecdote here–Linus’ speech about what “the true meaning of Christmas is” was almost cut from the show. (Hat tip to Robert Stacy McCain for the video.)

Oh, and here is the video of Linus’ famous speech about the true meaning of Christmas. It still brings a tear to my eye.

Next, here comes “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Interesting anecdote here–even though Boris Karloff was the voice of the Grinch, actor Thurl Ravenscroft actually sang the theme song.

And finally, here is my favorite clip from A Christmas Carol (my all time favorite Christmas movie), with George C. Scott brilliantly playing the role of Ebeneezer Scrooge.

So, in conclusion, I hope that everyone enjoyed the entertainment. However, before I go, I would just like to leave you all with the words of Ebeneezer Scrooge:

“Merry Christmas to everybody–and a Happy New Year to the world!!”

Cross-posted at The Minority Report, Right Wing News and Hillbillypolitics.

For some odd reason, Sarah Palin causes liberal elites to rabidly foam at the mouth. Professor William Jacobson of the blog Legal Insurrection wrote an insightful piece about how conservatives seem to reflexively defend Palin, because liberals seem to be perpetually attacking her. Furthermore, not only do liberals seem to revel in finding weird reasons to attack Sarah Palin, but they also seem to only be happy when they are attacking her family as well (probably because they see them as little “spawns of Sarah”). Now, why is this? I haven’t a clue. However, I can state beyond a reasonable doubt that it’s not helping them.

For example, a couple of days ago, comediennes Kathy Griffin and Margret Cho both attacked Bristol Palin as “fat”–although Cho was a little more subtle about it than Griffin was. (Robert Stacy McCain wrote an excellent piece about both incidents here.) In fact, Griffin was dumb enough to trash Bristol Palin and refer to her as “the white Precious” in front of a group of servicemen who promptly booed her.

Question–does Ms. Griffin not know her audience at all? These are not liberal elites, like Bill Maher, who think that it’s OK to call Bristol Palin a “Hillbilly Heroine”. These are US soldiers who won’t find calling someone’s twenty year old daughter “fat” at all funny.

Moreover, a few weeks ago comedienne Sandra Bernhard called Bristol Palin a “hooker” on Joy Behar’s show because she placed in the finals on Dancing With the Stars. (Ms. Behar seemed very distressed, herself, and said that “Fred and Ginger died last night”.)

Surprising to say, Behar and Bernhard weren’t the only liberals to get so wee-weed up over Bristol Palin making it to the finals on Dancing With the Stars. Washington Post columnist, Sally Quinn, wrote a long piece about how her head was about to explode because Bristol Palin made it to the finals of Dancing With the Stars. Ann Althouse best described Quinn’s disingenuous hyperventilating when she wrote the following:

And this strangely sanctimonious journalist — she’s writing in the always awful “On Faith” section of The Washington Post — condemns Palin voters for “cheating” 7 paragraphs after she confesses to doing something that is at least as much cheating as what the Palin fans are said to be doing.

“Not only that, but I vote. Under the show’s rules, you’re allowed to vote five times on one line. I have six lines at home and my cell, so I vote as many times as I can for my favorite. “

So this lady, this longtime Washington powerbroker, has 6 phone lines, and she maxes each line out, each week, voting 30 times. But that’s the show’s rules. They can’t tell how many individuals vote are voting. They can only see phone numbers. So if your family of 5 watches the show and you — you economic losers — only have one phone, you can make 5 calls. Sally Quinn happens to have 6 phone lines, so she gets 30 votes — under the rules.

“Commenters on the conservative blog Hillbuzz.org said they had figured out how to enter more votes than the rules allow by creating fake e-mail addresses. One person posting on Hillbuzz said “Lord have mercy, I voted for three hours online! I got 300 in.”

What is a “fake e-mail address”? The rules say you are allowed 5 votes from each email address, just as you are allowed 5 votes from each phone number. Some people have multiple phone numbers and some have multiple email addresses. What’s the difference? All I can think of is that you have to spend money to have multiple phone numbers, and you can get multiple email accounts free. It feels so right for rich folk to get more. I love when liberals slip up like that.

Question–hey Lefties, first of all, you have to know that calling Bristol Palin a “fat hooker” is not a good way to win friends and influence people, right? I mean, Bristol Palin probably wears a size six or a size eight–most American women wear a size ten (Marilyn Monroe wore a size twelve). Do you really think that calling the majority of American women “fat” is a winning strategy for you?

Second of all, you guys do realize that this is just a television show and that normal people don’t freak out or want to shoot the TV because Bristol Palin won, right? Full disclosure here–I’ve never seen an episode of Dancing With the Stars (I’ve watched clips on YouTube), but if one of the Obama girls happen to make it to the finals in a few years, I would be quite happy for her (even if she wasn’t that great of a dancer).

Now, having your head explode over Bristol Palin making it to the finals on Dancing With the Stars is not the only symptom of Palin Derangement Syndrome–apparently, Sarah Palin’s Facebook postings are enough to give a lot of liberals the vapors. For instance, Andrew Sullivan recently wrote a piece whining about Sarah Palin mocking Barack Obama’s famous “57 states gaffe”, and accused her of “trashy behavior” (but, he didn’t say what was “trashy” about her behavior).

[Hey Andrew, by "trashy behavior", do you mean spreading internet rumors that a woman's baby is not really her own, and is that of her teenage daughter? Because that would be you Andrew, not Sarah Palin. But, I digress.]

Well, if Sullivan had any sense of humor at all, he would have written that Palin’s Facebook post was funny and admitted that she had a point that the media tends to give Obama a pass on his gaffes, but tends to hammer everyone else on theirs (as even SNL pointed out during the Democratic primary). Normal people like people who can laugh at themselves and respond very well to self-deprecating humor.

However, Sullivan was not only upset by Sarah Palin’s recent Facebook post, but her daughter Willow’s as well (where she gets involved with trash-talk with another teenager when she defends her sister Bristol). First of all, does Sullivan realize that Willow Palin is a sixteen year old girl, and that normal Americans find it to be very strange and distasteful when grown men pick on other people’s children? Even Jon Stewart told liberals to back off and to “stop making me feel sorry for the Palins”.

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Second of all, does Sullivan realize how weird it is to obsess over Sarah Palin and her family’s Facebook postings? I mean, Sarah Palin was only a vice-presidential nominee –she was never even the vice-president. You don’t see us conservatives obsessing over Joe Leiberman’s or John Edward’s Facebook postings, much less their kids Facebook postings. This is very strange behavior. I would suggest that if reading the Palin family’s Facebook postings upsets you so much, then stop reading them.

Finally, speaking of weird behavior, Charles Blow recently wrote a column about how he wasn’t going to talk about Sarah Palin anymore, but then spent the entire column writing about how much Sarah Palin sucks. Hey Charles, I thought that you said that you weren’t going to talk about Sarah Palin anymore? You see, if most people say that they aren’t going to talk about someone anymore, then they just don’t talk about them anymore–they don’t proceed to, then, write an entire column about how terrible the person is.

In fact, this column of Blow’s is almost as weird as Keith Olbermann naming Bristol Palin his “Worst Person in the World”, or Aaron Sorkin comparing Sarah Palin to Michael Vick for hunting a Caribou. (I’m sure that the millions of hunters all across America deeply appreciate that comparison.) Oh, and Keith, really???!! Bristol Palin is your “Worst Person in the World”? Not Kim Jong-Il, not Ahmadinajad, but Bristol Palin for discussing abstinence?! No, that’s not at all strange to most Americans. (Rolls eyes.)

So, in conclusion, this whole Palin Derangement Syndrome definitely hurt the Left during the past mid-term election, and is continuing to hurt them now. Why? Well, for two obvious reasons. First of all, during the last election, it appeared as if liberals were spending way too much time speaking out against the Palins (none of whom were on the ballot), and not enough time explaining why people should vote for Obama’s policies and liberal candidates. Throughout the previous election, PDS proved to be a huge distraction for the Left.

Second of all, constantly attacking someone’s children as “fat, trashy, hookers” seems, well, quite mean to normal, well-adjusted Americans who aren’t weirdos. Most Americans think that mean people suck and don’t want to vote for a party that seems to embrace nastiness. Hey, you can listen to me, or you can continue smacking around Sarah Palin and her kids. The choice is yours. However, I just have one question for you guys. How did that PDS work out for you in the last election?

This column is cross-posted from Parcbench, and it is also posted at Right Wing News, The Minority Report and Hillbillypolitics.

Dear John,

I don’t know exactly how to say this, so perhaps it’s best to just come right out with it. It probably won’t come as any great surprise that things just haven’t been working out lately between you and the Big Guy up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It’s always sad when the bloom comes off the bright blossom of first love, but not all things are meant to be.

Look… I know you’re upset about that deal last night which will probably extend all of the current tax rates, (yes… even for those nasty rich people) but how much more do you want? I mean, look at everything you’ve already gotten out of this relationship! Gays are now allowed to get married all across the land and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is long since repealed. Gitmo is closed, we pulled the last of the troops out of Iraq way ahead of Bush’s schedule, and we have a firm date to get out of Afghanistan.

He repealed the Patriot act and put an end to all of those invasive wire taps that his predecessor was using. He kicked all the lobbyists out of Washington and is running the most transparent administration evah!

And still you complain.

Just this week I saw you running off to your friend Jane Hamsher and got her all in an uproar about that trade deal he arranged with South Korea. But let’s be honest here… that’s nothing like NAFTA or those other “free trade” deals that were being cut under Bush and Clinton. And besides, have you forgotten already about how he passed Card Check? I think at this point pretty much every working person in the country is required by law to be part of a union.

How much more do you want the man to give? Honestly, I just don’t see how this relationship can continue.

And please… don’t act all shocked. It’s not as if you weren’t already thinking about it yourself. It may surprise you to know that he saw you talking to Russ Feingold about running against him in a primary bid next year.

And before you ask, no. He’s not following you around. He was just down getting a couple of waffles at the diner. Pure coincidence, I assure you.

Look on the positive side. This may all be for the best. If you make a clean break now you’ll both have the chance to move on and find that special somebody who is the perfect fit for each of you. Say… I hear Anthony Weiner has been playing the field.

Now you can yell at Jazz for being a stupid, wrong-headed RINO even faster than by just leaving a comment! Follow him on Twitter. @JazzShaw

Note: Figures updated to take into account the fact (which I previously forgot) that Alaska and Hawaii were not admitted to the Union until 1959; so the U.S. Senate had only 96 senators before 1959.

Since the House of Representatives has 435 seats (and has since 1913), compared to the Senate’s 100 (post-1959) or 96 (pre-1959), one Senate seat “equals” 4.35 House seats (post-1959) or 4.53125 (pre-1959), in a numerical sense. Therefore, I have combine the pickups in the two chambers of Congress by that formula: The total number of House seats won, plus 4.35 (or 4.53125) X the number of Senate seats won, equals the “win-factor” of that election. Since that gives us a single number measuring the sweep of an electoral victory, we can use it to rank them.

Here are the top five post-War historical benchmarks in countdown order, based on win-factor:

5. 1974 mid-terms: Democrats gain 49 House seats and 3 Senate seats; win-factor = 62.1
4. 1994 mid-terms: Republicans gain 54 House seats and 8 Senate seats; win-factor = 88.8
3. 1946 mid-terms: Republicans gain 55 House seats and 12 Senate seats; win-factor = 109.4
2. 1948 presidential: Democrats gain 75 House seats and 9 Senate seats; win-factor = 115.8
1. 1958 mid-terms: Democrats gain 49 House seats and 16 Senate seats; win-factor = 121.5

(1958 was kind of an oddball election; it’s only number one because of the enormous pickup in the Senate.)

So what would it take for this election to grab the top spot, the biggest pickup of the entire post-War era? Here are a few examples; for each number of Senate pickups, I list the minimum number of House seats to break the 1958 record:

• 8 Senate seats and 87 House seats (win-factor = 121.8)
• 9 Senate seats and 83 House seats (win-factor = 122.2)
• 10 Senate seats and 79 House seats (win-factor = 122.5) — 78 House seats would exactly equal the 1958 record
• 11 Senate seats and 74 House seats (win-factor = 121.9)
• 12 Senate seats and 70 House seats (win-factor = 122.2)

Submitted for your viewing pleasure. Wagering is encouraged. And remember: If you must drink, drive responsibly.

Pop that corn, kick back, and enjoy those returns!

Cross-posted on Big Lizards…

Slate Magazine has announced a July 4th Twitter contest, #TinyDeclaration.  With a nod toward Thomas Jefferson’s incomparable ethos (apparently his love of brevity and “youthful” age of 33 while penning the majority of the document), entrants are to tweet the entire Declaration of Independence in 140 characters or less. One example:

“All men should be equal, happy and free. Suck it, King George. We quit. Love, the U.S. of A.”

Neat, right?  Just a little fun with history.  Not like we’re plagued by reductionism already or something.

I’m all for twitter hash-tag games and participate often.   I don’t doubt that many submissions will be witty and, perhaps, insightful.  I’m also sure Slate and participants see this as a culturally relevant homage to our founding.  Yet, by condensing an already concise document to twitterspeak, doesn’t that show disrespect for those who lost their lives in its defense? Furthermore, how much does this (from the comments):

TJ: Dear George, Bite me. Er, us. Boo-ya Grandma! BF: Aww, snap! You did not just say that! GW: It’s so on. TJ: Bring it! #TinyDeclaration

reflect the shallow understanding so many Americans suffer and could this TwitCliff’s Notes comprehension of our nation’s history ultimately impact our political decisions?  Obama cultists, anyone?

So many questions for such a trivial thing.  Or, is it?

—

Cross-posted at Newsreal Blog and The Contrarian Bee.

This Saturday night, following South Park, tune in for Comedy Central’s “Greatest Athletes of All Time” special telecast.

You’ll see legends from the world baseball:

Basketball:

Boxing:

Football:

And many more!

Plus, Comedy Central’s “Greatest Athletes of All Time” will feature the best Tweets from your favorite current NBA stars:

Don’t miss it!

Comedy Central’s “Greatest Athletes of All Time” is proudly sponsored by:

And by…

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

It all began on March 18th, when Danero Thomas threw up a 15-footer at the buzzer as 13th-seeded Murray State stunned No. 4 seed Vanderbilt 66-65.  Other upsets, along the way, were No.10 Saint Mary’s stunning No. 2 Villanova behind Omar Samhan’s 32 point performance and No. 9 Northern Iowa over No. 1 seeded Kansas.  With West Virginia knocking off Kentucky there was only one number one seed left in the tournament, and that was Duke who rolled over the Mountaineers in the second game last night, 78-57.  The Blue Devils rained in three-pointers all night long and crashed the boards for second chance shots to pull away from a crippled West Virginia team in the second half.

 Stewart Mandel at Sports Illustrated thought both games would be close and thrilling:

“Vegas seems to think we’re in for a pair of good ones. Butler is listed as a one-point favorite over Michigan State, Duke a two-and-a-half point favorite on the Mountaineers. Either result, were it to actually occur by that margin, would be thrilling for the 70,000-plus spectators Saturday — myself included.”

Mandel was only half right, and Vegas was too, as a stubborn Butler team held off Michigan State 52-50 to earn a trip to the finals Monday night.  But while Duke’s crushing defeat of WVU was not predicted, Butler has now reached a pinnacle of not allowing any foe in the tourney to reach 60 points.  Cinderella?  Hardly.  David vs. Goliath?  I don’t think so.  The under-ranked No. 5 Bulldogs have now beaten Syracuse, Kansas State and a tough Michigan State for the right to face Duke in the finals.   Mandel also noted after last night’s games how quickly “hall of fame” Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski put the kibosh on the David v Goliath tagline:

“It didn’t take long into his postgame press conference for Coach K to begin debunking the David vs. Goliath storyline.

 ”They’re one of the best teams in the country,” he said of the 33-4 Bulldogs. “I think Cinderella would be if somebody had eight, nine losses and pulled some upsets, stuff like that. … They’ve beaten Syracuse and Kansas State and Michigan State.”

Would a Butler win over Duke be considered an upset?

The Blue Devils have averaged 73 points in the tournament, while the Bulldogs have allowed an average of 55 points in their respective five games, beat No. 1 Syracuse that averaged 85 points in their last seven games, and held a Kansas State team to only 56, which averaged 80 points in their last ten games.  Something will have to give on Monday night.  The early Vegas line has Duke by seven.  I wouldn’t bet on it.

OFFICIAL NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP BRACKET

The Tragedy of Macbama

By Anonymous

SCENE I. A desert place.

Thunder and lightning. Enter three EDITORs

FIRST EDITOR

When shall we three print again

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

SECOND EDITOR

When the election campaign’s arranged,

When the battle’s won for hope and change.

THIRD EDITOR

We will stand firm rank on rank,

For the new king, be in the tank.

FIRST EDITOR

In the studio we will swarming

To heat things up like global warming

Now rampant bias is the norm

For stimulus and health reform.

SECOND EDITOR

Already I feel a quivering up my leg!

THIRD EDITOR

There to meet with Macbama,

Then begins our great drama!

FIRST EDITOR

I come, CNN!

SECOND EDITOR

MSNBC calls.

THIRD EDITOR

And the Times, too.

ALL

Fair is foul, and foul is fair:

To fix this election we will dare!

Exeunt

SCENE II. A heath near Lake Forrest.

Thunder. Enter the three EDITORs

FIRST EDITOR

Where hast thou been?

SECOND EDITOR

I have been in quite a push

Blaming everything on Bush.

THIRD EDITOR

Sister, where thou?

FIRST EDITOR

I have been gathering dirt

Such stuff as will really hurt.

And imprecations by the score

For those who block the candidate we adore

When one critiques his beloved face

I attribute it to race.

THIRD EDITOR

My effort has been to the contrary

All the dirt on him I did bury.

Trumpets Sound

THIRD EDITOR

A drum, a drum!

Macbama doth come.

ALL

The weird sisters, hand in hand,

Republicans we will all brand

As too far right for this fair land.

And those who back them as not too bright.

Whether that is wrong or Wright.

We gather up the poisoned Ayres

To bring up Macbama’s record no one dares

Its hid away in great big sacks

Along with other inconvenent facts.

FIRST EDITOR

Round about the cauldron go;

In the poison’d stories throw.

ALL

Double, double ratings and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

SECOND EDITOR

Mobilize all MSNBC

For those who watch on their TV

Promise all a bigger slice of cake,

In the cauldron the rich we’ll boil and bake;

Eye of Newt so as we live,

To purge all that’s conservative;

Toe of frog as we do dance,

So the US becomes just like France.

For a charm of powerful trouble,

To give stimulus to a hell-broth’s bubble.

ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

THIRD EDITOR

Withered mummy dipped in bran,

And engagement with Iran.

ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Trumpets sound closer

Enter MACBAMA

MACBAMA

These are some I must highly rate

Leaders of the Fourth Estate.

Them I must so careful woo

With stuff that simply is not true.

I will need them in this fight

So my paltry record they’ll rewrite.

FIRST EDITOR

All hail, Macbama! hail to thee, thane of Chi-town!

SECOND EDITOR

All hail, Macbama, hail to thee, thane of Illinois!

THIRD EDITOR

All hail, Macbama, thou shalt be king hereafter!

MACBAMA

Speak then to me, and of the future tell

I conjure you, by that which you profess,

To make real sure I don’t land in a mess.

The truth is—whatever you are stewing—

I have absolutely no idea of what I’m doing.

I’ve never run a business or a state,

As for the Senate I was absent or just plain late.

My background’s strewn with mines that must be hid

And I’ll be sunk if you lift off the lid.

Without a teleprompter I’d be sunk

You can see why I’m in such a funk!

So please tell me what is to be

The future is something I would dearly see.

FIRST EDITOR

Pour in Bush’s blood,

Let lots of apologies join the flood

Like dry wood we will use lots of blame

The passions of the people to enflame.

ALL

Come, spirits from Hell or from high Heaven;

To wipe out the lessons of September 11!

Thunder. The first Apparition appears: a hick carrying a gun and a Bible

FIRST Apparition

Macbama! Macbama! Macbama! beware Rush;

Beware the thane of Beck.

But let your fear be light

They will bark but ridiculed enough they will not bite!

Disappears

Thunder. Second Apparition: A bimbo carrying a cigar

SECOND Apparition

Macbama! Macbama! Macbama!

Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn

The power of Clinton, for none of woman, born

Shall harm Macbama.

Disappears

Thunder. THIRD Apparition: a yuppie crowned, with a cup of latte in his hand

THIRD Apparition

Be lion-mettled, proud; and take no care

Who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are:

Macbama shall never vanquish’d be until

A lot of teabags to high Capitol Hill

Shall come against him.

Disappears

MACBAMA

This news is good

Since that will never be

Who can wake up the masses, bid the rubes,

Turn away from their idiot and u-tubes?

Rebellion’s head, rise never till the teabags

Rise, and our high-placed Macbama

Shall have an eight-year lease on White House

And transform America.

But Bush-Monkey’s most egregious offense was stupidity. “The man is dumber than dirt,” more than one learned liberal opined. Bush was so dumb, in fact, that a poster of “Bushisms,” examples of his mangling of the English language, was published.

Why this guy was soooo stupid that not once but twice did he insult the leader of his own party by resorting to the same insulting figure of speech about the state the man hails from to exemplify wanton spending.

Oh, wait a minute. It wasn’t Bush-Monkey who did that. It was Obama. . .  Monkey? Last year, when he was trying to impress upon voters how reckless was the behavior of those money-grubbing, bonus-grabbing fat cats who spend other people’s money like — well, like Obama since taking the oath of office — he said, “You can’t get on corporate jets, you can’t go take a trip to Las Vegas or go down to the Super Bowl on the taxpayer’s dime.”

The dig at Las Vegas was not lost on the Senate Majority Leader, a Nevadan. Nor was it lost on Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman or Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, both of whom were insulted by Obama’s comment.

Look, the comment was unfortunate. There are a bajillion metaphors in English for spending money recklessly. And not all of them (viz., drunken sailor) need be offensive. For example, “spending like there’s no tomorrow” or “spending like it’s going out of style.”

So which of those alternative locutions did Obama select for a speech last Tuesday in Nashua, N.H., in which he was trying to emphasize the dangers of uncontrolled spending? None. What he said instead was, “You don’t blow a bunch of cash in Vegas when you’re trying to save for college.” [Emphasis added]

This time Mayor Oscar Goodman wasn’t merely insulted. He was livid. According to the AP, he said that Obama is no friend to Las Vegas and would not be welcome in the city if he visits. “I’ll do everything I can to give him the boot,” Goodman said. “This president is a real slow learner.”

Slow learner? That’s pretty cruel. Is the mayor sure he wasn’t referring to George W. Bush?

I disagreed by instinct. As I told a student after I got to campus who asked about the decision, I said you had to put your head in Belichick’s place without regard to what eventually happened. You have to argue ex ante rather than ex post.

Your team has given up two fourth quarter touchdowns in possessions of 2:04 and 3:32. You are playing against arguably the greatest QB ever (arguably, acknowledging that the greatest QB ever could be your own QB.) You are on the road. You have a play that has worked quite well, and you ran it successfully earlier in the game. (Game log) And it’s not the first time Belichick had done it this season, Michael Lombardi reminds us. He went 4th-and-1 from his 24 up 19-10 in the third quarter against Atlanta (successful, game log.) So this isn’t gut instinct: Belichick has thought the math through.

I was going to write out the math of this in terms of expected values, but Brian Burke has already done this.

With 2:00 left and the Colts with only one timeout, a successful conversion wins the game for all practical purposes. A 4th and 2 conversion would be successful 60% of the time. Historically, in a situation with 2:00 left and needing a TD to either win or tie, teams get the TD 53% of the time from that field position. The total WP (win probability — the likelihood you would win the game) for the 4th down conversion attempt would therefore be:

(0.60 * 1) + (0.40 * (1-0.53)) = 0.79 WP

A punt from the 28 typically nets 38 yards, starting the Colts at their own 34. Teams historically get the TD 30% of the time in that situation. So the punt gives the Pats about a 0.70 WP.

Statistically, the better decision would be to go for it, and by a good amount. However, these numbers are baselines for the league as a whole. You’d have to expect the Colts had a better than a 30% chance of scoring from their 34, and an accordingly higher chance to score from the Pats’ 28. But any adjustment in their likelihood of scoring from either field position increases the advantage of going for it.

Not to say that Belichick had those numbers firmly in his head and thought of it in terms of WP, but he’s shown evidence that he’s willing to go for fourth downs in his own territory, that the gain in punting would have been to reduce the likelihood of the average NFL team to score the winning TD to 30% from 53%. He certainly knew he would be skewered if his team failed to convert … which he had to think was a 40% probability. He was confident enough to accept that fate in return for giving his team its best shot at winning the game. In terms of the rest of the season, would you rather have your team lose and the blame placed on your coach for a “bonehead move”, or lose and have your defense questioned for its inability to hold a lead?

Another way of putting it is, when—you know, I’m busy, Nancy’s busy with our mops cleaning up somebody else’s mess. We don’t want somebody sitting back saying, ‘You’re not holding the mop the right way.’ Why don’t you grab a mop? Why don’t you help clean up? ‘You’re not mopping fast enough. That’s a socialist mop.’ Grab a mop. Let’s get to work.

Now here’s the picture:

As far I can divine, that’s not a socialist mop. And the prex is mopping plenty fast.

Mea culpa, Mr. President.

Cross-posted at Zombie Contentions

MOON CRASH—MOONBATS PROTEST NASA’S ATTEMPT TO FIND HIDDEN WATER–PROTESTERS MAKE CLAIM THAT THE MOON NEVER ATTACKED US.

NASA’S BIG CRASH ON MOON DISCOVERS TRACES OF WISCONSIN CHEDDAR CHEESE

NASA CRASHING VEHICLE INTO MOON—-CBO SAYS IT’S DEFICIT NEUTRAL

I’m certain some of you can come up with more “creative” one-liners or “crash-landing” comments.  Winning entries will receive an official “Mooncrash” badge of honor.

UPDATE: MOON-BOMBING ALERT: IMPACT SUCCESSFUL—WHITE FLAG SPOTTED WAVING OVER LOCATION—MOON SUES FOR PEACE

The only moisture measured by NASA was that of tears flowing from little green women and children who have lost their “man on the moon”. President Obama recalls thousands of troops scheduled to depart in 2018 to support the conquest. Nobel committee sees “withdrawal” worthy of peace prize.

By the way, about that phrase “Senate ethics rules”: ouch, my tummy hurts from laughing.

The committee went on to congratulate the Senators for their astute financial judgment in accepting the “Friends of Angelo” bonuses while exercising regulatory oversight of the very financial institutions that were about to implode.

Conrad, for instance, received a discount of $10,5000 in fees and a unique mortgage deal in financing a little over $1.1 million.

Dodd, the powerful Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, threatened filibuster after filibuster over additional regulation of the mortgage market while accepting funds and sweetheart mortgages from the very organizations he was supposed to be regulating.

Dodd is also the subject of a Judicial Watch ethics complaint on an unrelated matter: how the Senator came to own an Irish seaside mansion while understating the property’s true value on his disclosure forms.

“Disguising [the] gift [of the mansion] would provide a motive for Senator Dodd to fail to report the property’s true value on his [disclosure] since 2002… By all appearances, …Dodd used his position and influence… to intervene of behalf of his friend and convicted felon, Edward Downe Jr., and in received in turn a significant discount in the purchase of property in 2002…

…Further, it appears… Dodd failed to report this gift on his annual [disclosure], as required by law, and may have falsified his reports in the years following the full acquisition…”

In addition, it was reported in April that Dodd raised hundreds of thousands of dollars from financial services companies like Citi, Fidelity, Vanguard, and the like. Since some of these firms accepted TARP funds, it may be fair to say that when Dodd voted for TARP, he voted to put money in his own pockets.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for an ethics investigation into any of these areas.

So the lesson, you tax-paying rubes, is this: Congress is above the law. And don’t you forget it, peons.

Related Reading:
Above the Law: A Handy Guide to Democrat Corruption
The Secret Garden (and Mansion) of Christopher Dodd

Cheers!

Cross-posted at Slublog.com

The National Enquirer has reported for some time now the existence of a tape featuring intimate moments between former Senator and vice presidential candidate John Edwards, and his mistress Rielle Hunter.

I managed to get my hands on two portions of the written transcript — they are shocking and graphic:

::begin transcript::

“Oh yeah baby, I like it right there.”

“Okay, where’s the hair dryer, John?”

::end transcript::

But then, something went wrong, and Edwards was finally caught cheating…

::begin transcript::

“Rielle, I think we should commit to something long-term…”

“Mmm, hmm… unless you think it might look too curly.”

**phone rings**

“Hello? … This is Rielle, who’s this?”

“Oh my God, hang up the phone!”

::end transcript::

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

The media outlets are accusing Sanford of stealing the moving and emotional words he emailed to Maria Belen Chapur last year, line for line, from various articles that reporters covering the 2008 election campaign wrote about then presidential candidate Barack Obama.

The mainstream media outlets are seeking an admission of guilt from Sanford, but so far haven’t gotten one.

“Those love letters were very personal and represent a deep affection, respect and admiration for a flawlessly beautiful human being in its purest, most spiritual form, and I can assure you they are original and were written from the heart,” according to a spokesperson.

“So were the Governor’s letters!” Replied a Sanford staffer in defense of the besieged governor.

More on this story as it develops.

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Buying a Senate seat
3 a.m. voicemail
Who’s that woman in my car?
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“But I’m not gay!”
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Sex tape
Highway rest area surprise
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The “N” word
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Botched murder attempt
Botched robbery attempt
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Bathhouse bust
Free event tickets
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Peepshow incident
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How much is your career worth to you?

By order (“decree” I think was the word they used) of the White House, a few rule changes will be in effect for the All-Star game. They include, but are not limited to, the following:

1: The umpires will all be lawyers who don’t know very much about baseball but think they do.

2: A pitcher who strikes out a batter will stop throwing so hard or face ejection from the baseball community and/or possible charges of racism.

3. If a pitcher charges the mound in anger, the violence will be condemned but not stopped, since it’s a matter for the pitcher and batter to resolve. If the fight should last for hundreds of years, Jimmy Carter will be called in to mediate.

4: At the end of the game, the players must give half the money they made for playing in the game to the umpires, and the rest of it to the worst player.

5: A team that falls behind by several runs can apply for a “run stimulus,” which will be provided by taking away runs from other teams in future games.

6: In order to make the game more in tune with liberal economic theory, “zero sum game” rules will apply. For example, if the score is 4-4 and one team scores a run, the other team must lose a run, making the score 5-3. If the first team scores another run, the score would be 6-2. The good news for the team with 2 is that by applying “zero-sum game,” even though they’re down by 4, they’ll only have to score 2 runs to tie the game, and if they are unable they can apply to receive a run bailout (see #5).

7: In order to secure a future endorsement from the Earth Liberation Front, no wooden bats will be used, and it is recommended that players bat using biodegradable, reusable shopping bags filled with hope.

8: The outfield positions will be referred to as “Progressive,” “Moderate,” and “Extreme Right.”

9: The teleprompter will be considered to be a part of the field.

10: The “7th inning stretch” will last three hours and feature a re-airing of ABC’s special on Obama’s plan for national health care running on the jumbo-tron, along with the presentation of a license to perform heart and brain surgery to Doc Halladay, pending passage of the national health care plan.

11. Members of the media will be allowed to towel off the president twice per inning. Reporters awarded this honor will be chosen via lottery (the president has granted an MSNBC request for Chris Matthews to take home all used towels in lieu of one year’s salary).

12: If one team gets down by more than five runs, the government will take the team over, hire a manager who doesn’t know anything about baseball, regulate the players’ pay, cancel the game and use the ballpark for an ACORN pep rally.

Twitter update:

Okay, I finally caved to a couple of requests that I get on Twitter. Unfortunately, because of my delay in signing up, pretty much any semblance of my name was already taken, so I went with the title of my column.

You can sign up to follow my riveting Twitter updates at ThePowersThatBe. To a great degree I’ll point to posts at my blog and to my columns, but I also plan to jot down random thoughts that are too short to warrant a regular blog post.

But the Justice Department says there is no change on the Miranda policy for captured terror suspects — er, excuse me, “alleged potential man-caused disaster initiators.”

This isn’t exactly true. One of my semi-reliable sources in DC tells me that the Obama administration has quietly been working with the most liberal members of Congress in order to draft an updated Miranda Warning specifically for accused terrorists.

The new Miranda Rights are expected to be released for mandatory use in Afghanistan beginning next week, and here they are:

1. You have the right to remain salient.

2. Anything you say can and will be used against the people who took you into custody.

3. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning of Dick Cheney and the CIA.

4. If you cannot afford an attorney, the people you’re accused of trying to kill will pick up the tab. Just remember, if you’re released and eventually kill them, there might not be anybody to pay for your attorney the next time.

5. If you’re taken to the U.S., you have the right to sue big tobacco while you’re there.

6. You have a right to irony, such as being placed under the protection of the U.S. Constitution against your will by people who claim to loathe forcing the American way of life on people in other countries.

7. You have the right tell CNN that Nancy Pelosi didn’t know anything about waterboarding.

8. You have the right to consider being read these rights “torture,” and if so you will be allowed to seek asylum at either Amnesty International or in Janeane Garofalo’s basement.

9. Do you understand and agree with these rights? Because if you don’t, we’ll give you a pen and you can cross out the parts you don’t like or add rights you think we should have included.

10. With these rights in mind, are you willing to speak with former President Jimmy Carter and Rep. John Murtha about the charges against the people who captured you?

I support President Obama’s three principles for real health care reform, and I call on Congress to enact a plan upholding them in 2009:

• Reduce costs — Rising health care costs are crushing the budgets of governments, businesses, individuals, and families, and they must be brought under control
• Guarantee choice — Every American must have the freedom to choose their plan and doctor – including the choice of a public insurance option
• Ensure quality care for all — All Americans must have quality and affordable health care

Overuse of the L word makes one sound like a nutcase/crank. But sometimes there’s no other way to say it: lies, all lies. Nationalized health care will be costlier, crummier, and controlled not by the vaunted “you and your doctor,” but by Big Brother.

Here in affluent northern Virginia most people are pretty satisfied with the health coverage they get through their employers. So the Obamacare drone resorted to bemoaning the plight of the uninsured masses who have “no access to health care.” Maybe now is the time to reprise, from last fall, the reason.tv video on those who are uninsured by choice. From the site:

Of people currently classified as uninsured, a conservative estimate says about 45 percent of them would be able to get health insurance right now if they wanted it,” says economist Glen Whitman. That estimate comes from a study headed by a Johns Hopkins University researcher, which separates those who could get insurance into one of two categories: Those who earn enough money to buy it, and those who qualify for existing government programs.

Karl Rove (h/t Hot Air) lays it all out. What’s at stake:

If Democrats enact a public-option health-insurance program, America is on the way to becoming a European-style welfare state.

His five points:

1. It’s unnecessary.
2. “a public option will undercut private insurers and pass the tab to taxpayers and health providers just as it does in existing government-run programs.”
3. “government-run health insurance would crater the private insurance market, forcing most Americans onto the government plan.”
4. it’s way expensive.
5. the public option puts government firmly in the middle of the relationship between patients and their doctors. If you think insurance companies are bad, imagine what happens when government is the insurance carrier, with little or no competition and no concern you’ll change to another company.

Read the whole thing. Whether we need to argue all these points is debatable. I think it depends on your audience. John Miller advocates sticking with the money argument which polls indicate is hitting home with Americans right now. For someone dealing with chronic illness, this from Mark Steyn might make an even more compelling (not to say urgent) argument:

In the Province of Quebec, patients suffering from serious incontinence – ie, they have to aller aux toilettes jusqu’à 12 fois par nuit (that’s 12 times a night) – have to wait three years for a half-hour operation. That’s 3 years times 365 nights times 12 trips to the bathroom.

There are only two urologists in the province who perform the operation, in part because hospital budgets are so tight they decline to buy the necessary “neurostimulator”.

The central point about socialized medicine is that restricting access is the only means of controlling costs. And, when comparisons of health “costs” between nations are made, the time you spend in the bathroom each night and the subsequent impact on your work performance the following day are not factored in. [emphasis added]

Read the rest (not long).

*Updated to add more ammo from the Washington Examiner: two columns by Sally Pipes on access to health care in Canada, via Pundit, who tells me that the print versions contained some useful charts which don’t seem to appear online. (Guys always love those charts and graphs.)

From Part 1:

When you finally go to the doctor and describe your symptoms, he orders an MRI to make sure your headaches aren’t a sign of something serious, like a tumor.Of course, you won’t learn the answer for quite awhile. Your doctor informs you that there’s a ten-week wait for an MRI. Ten weeks of chronic headaches will be bad enough, you think, but not knowing what’s wrong will be even worse because of the worry.

The doc attempts to lighten the mood by pointing out that you could have gone for an MRI in less than a week if you were a dog. Somehow that’s not comforting.

Your doctor goes on to tell you that you’ll have to wait another 19 weeks for a referral to a neurological specialist if the MRI reveals that something is wrong. “It’s probably nothing,” your doctor says, “so just relax and try to put it out of your mind.”

Bottom line:

Just remember: Access to a waiting list is not access to health care.

Read the rest.

Part 2:

Canadians have significantly lower levels of access to several key medical technologies than citizens in other developed countries. Among member nations of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, Canada ranks a dismal 19th out of 26 for the number of CT scanners per million residents. It ranks 14th out of 25 for MRI scanners, and 19th out of 21 for lithotripters, which are used to treat kidney and gall stones.

Limited access to high-tech equipment has resulted in lengthy wait times for care. After visiting a primary care physician, the average Canadian has to wait more than a month to get a CT scan and more than two months to get an MRI.

According to Canada’s Fraser Institute, roughly 800,000 of Canada’s 33 million citizens are currently on a waiting list for some medical treatment. For 12 specialties across the country’s 10 provinces, the average waiting period between referral from a general practitioner and actual treatment was nearly four and a half months in 2008. That’s double what the average wait time was 15 years ago.

Canadians face some of the longest lines for access to the advanced technologies essential to most major surgeries. The lag between a general practitioner’s referral and treatment by a specialist is eight months for neurosurgery and nine months for both orthopedic surgery and plastic surgery.

Once a Canadian patient finally makes it into the examination or operating room, there’s a good chance that his doctor is using antiquated equipment. The country’s healthcare system employs far too many old and potentially unreliable medical technologies. Many machines should have been junked years ago. Others will need to be replaced in the near future.

Read the rest. It’s all bad.

Cross-posted here.

The NEFA Foundation has obtained a new audio message from Shaykh Mustafa Abu al-Yazid (a.k.a. “Shaykh Saeed”), during which Al-Qaida’s No. 3 in charge desperately begs for cash donations in order to fund continuing jihadi operations in Afghanistan.

If the Obama administration is serious about taking down the terrorist organization Al-Qaeda (I know, but just play along for a while), here’s what needs to be done immediately:

1– Respond to Shaykh Saeed’s request by announcing a trillion-dollar Al Qaeda bailout plan including a job stimulus package for the organization, with the U.S. government assuming a 65% stake in the group.

2– Put Tim Geithner in charge of overseeing the whole thing.

3– Fire the current Al Qaeda leaders and replace them with a CEO hand-picked by Obama and Geithner, who will, naturally, have no previous experience in the operation he’ll be in charge of.

4– Announce that, due to the need to make Al-Qaeda a leaner and more competitive organization, jihadi training camps that are unable to meet the new “green terrorism initiative” requirements (cars used in bombings must be hybrids, biodegradable detonators, shrapnel recycled, plant trees to carbon offset each attack, etc) will be closed, with the exception of any that might be in Barney Frank’s district.

5– “Leak” information about a Chris Dodd screw-up in the wording of the “Al Qaeda Recovery and Reinvestment Act” that Congress passed without reading, which failed to prevent millions of dollars of the bailout money being given as bonuses to Al Qaeda leaders.

6– Organize intimidating “bus tours” of the caves where Al Qaeda leaders who got bonuses live in order to hold any uncooperative members at bay.

7– Spend 25% of the jihad stimulus money on signs to let everybody know that jihadis are getting a lot of stimulus money — minus what was spent on the signs and the Al Qaeda exec bonuses as well as the 65% the government skims off the top, along with the 5% that is spent on R&D to find ways to confiscate the remaining 5%.

8– Sit back and watch the whole organization implode.

And here’s the best part: The Obama administration will instinctively blame Bush when it all goes to hell, so Dubya will get credit in the history books for getting rid of Al-Qaeda, and American taxpayers and future generations will have finally financed a huge government pile of pork that actually has a positive impact on the country.

In America today, finding ways of putting government incompetence to work for us is the only real stimulus plan we can hope for.

Not to be out-matched as a deal maker, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is said to have counter-offered Waters, dispatching the following email to the bassist: “We’ll consider it if you promise that you’ll be performing with the remaining living members of the band and do the full, album-length versions of both Shine On and Echoes.”

Israel says it built the wall as a defense against Palestinian militants, and Israel’s final decision on whether or not to tear down the West Bank wall would obviously hinge on how many Palestinians are Pink Floyd fans and how long those who are perpetrating violence are distracted by the music.

There is precedent for such an offer, though few are aware of it. Waters performed The Wall live in Berlin in 1990, mere months after the fall of the Berlin Wall, heroically fulfilling U.S. President Ronald Reagan’s 1987 proclamation, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall and Roger Waters and an all-star cast including Cyndi Lauper, Bryan Adams and Van Morrison will perform right here.” Gorbachev was a big Pink Floyd fan and the wall quickly came down, but Reagan Administration officials had edited Reagan’s quote and released to the media the first five words only, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” which allowed Reagan to take full credit for what is in fact Roger Waters’ role in the fall of the Berlin Wall.

As for the West Bank wall, Waters shrugged off any potential after-effects of a barrier between longtime enemies being removed just for a two-hour concert. “I live a long way from here,” concluded the legendary rocker.

The surviving members of Pink Floyd, guitarist/vocalist David Gilmour, and drummer Nick Mason, could not be reached for comment as they were in Mogadishu working a deal to convince Somali pirates to stop hijacking ships in return for autographed copies of Dark Side of the Moon and an LSD blotter with Syd Barrett’s fingerprint on it.

Even if, like most HotAir readers, you don’t spend much time in the Think Undergound Daily Talking Points Kos Salon, you may have gotten dosed by one or more of our remaining trolls or surrogate trolls with something like this:

[Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh's] scurrilous attacks on Colin Powell have even been supported by the fringy base of the Republican Party. But what about General David Petraeus? He’s been a GOP icon who they’re praying will run for president and bring them back to power. Well Limbaugh, Rove and Cheney may all prefer each other over Colin Powell, but General Petraeus is in line with the mainstream of American thought that torture is the wrong approach and that Guantánamo should be shut down.

The above comes from Howie Klein’s Down with Tyranny, a blog that, with typical disregard for historical fact, deploys an apocryphal quote supposedly from Sinclair Lewis as would-be anti-fascist epigraph.  John Amato at Crooks and Liars is more feverishly netrootsy:

General Petraeus just threw a wrench in the whining conservative rants against torture [sic] and the closing of Guantanamo Bay… I guess the Cheney/Limbaugh crowd will not like this very much. Will they actually come out against him? I think so. It’s their way. I’m waiting for Rush to start attacking him very quickly. Maybe he’ll say something like “Gen. Petraeus has been infected with Socialism and is now lost to us.”

Amato may want to take another whack at this whackery, since he obviously doesn’t really want to position conservatives – whining or ranting – against torture.  I’ll leave it to the reader to conjure an image of someone both ranting and whining at the same time, wrench obtrudant – but keep in mind that even a skilled professional blogger like Andrew Sullivan rants and whines only by turns, never simultaneously.

More to the point, both Amato and Klein, and those who preceded and have been echoing them, are projecting their own penchant for snap judgments, oversimplification, reflexive overreaction, and factual confusion onto General Petraeus – and onto conservatives including Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove, me, and probably you, too.

Here’s what the two are going on about – from the radio transcript:

RFE/RL: As you know, General, the debate over Guantanamo and enhanced interrogation techniques has become “Topic A” in Washington. In your view, does the closing of “Gitmo” and the abandonment of those techniques complicate the U.S. mission in Iraq, Afghanistan, and in the overall struggle against violent transnational extremist groups or does it help it?

Petraeus: I think, on balance, that those moves help it. In fact, I have long been on record as having testified and also in helping write doctrine for interrogation techniques that are completely in line with the Geneva Convention. And as a division commander in Iraq in the early days, we put out guidance very early on to make sure that our soldiers, in fact, knew that we needed to stay within those guidelines.

With respect to Guantanamo, I think that the closure in a responsible manner, obviously one that is certainly being worked out now by the Department of Justice — I talked to the attorney general the other day [and] they have a very intensive effort ongoing to determine, indeed, what to do with the detainees who are left, how to deal with them in a legal way, and if continued incarceration is necessary — again, how to take that forward.

Unnoted by the nutroots is the General’s typically judicious and even-handed initial phrase:  “On balance…”  (Some might even call it a “hedge.”)  Here’s a helpful translation for those rushing forward to their pre-fabricated conclusions:  On balance implies stuff on one side, and other stuff on the other side.

I’m not going to put words in Petraeus’ mouth, but it’s clear that he recognizes that either special detention of out-of-uniform combatants and terror suspects, or the “rough” interrogation policy, or both may have served a valid purpose, or, at worst, that reasonable people might have thought so and, under changed circumstances (circumstances creating a different “balance”), might be right to think so in the future.

The rest of Petraeus’ language – closing down Gitmo in a “responsible manner,” in accordance with an “intensive” legal effort, emphasis on the “message,” etc. – is in keeping with the image of a general officer who has decided on a particular strategy not out of squeamishness or weakness or ill-considered expediency, but after careful thought, with an emphasis on his current mission and responsibilities.  You could perhaps read into these and past statements a set of deeper feelings and beliefs somewhere in the vast area to the left of Bush-Cheney ca. 2002-3, but you will never find the unhinged condemnation that is, of course, the very ground in which the nutroots were and remain planted, nor will you find the empty and demoralizing posturing that’s the specialty of our Self-Critic-in-Chief, Mr. Obama.

As for “torture” – even broadly defined to include certain faddish water sports – other than the talkshow hosts who make book on it, no one’s been pushing for it other than Jack Bauer, and he’s not real – even while poll after poll show a majority of Americans (and up to 90% of other respondents of other nationalities) favor preservation of a last resort/in extremis torture option, just like the President appears to.

Many if not most conservatives – including, for example, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney – implicitly support both positions:  Close Gitmo if and when it can be closed, presuming there are good alternatives; treat detainees humanely and appropriately.  Most Americans feel about the same way, though we may differ about the practicalities and about the desirability of caving into pressure.  In going further, attacking those who strove responsibly but imperfectly to keep us safe, Barack Obama found himself in a self-abusively moralizing minority.  Luckily for him – as well as for our people in harm’s way, and sundry allies and bystanders – he was scared straight by Petraeus’ colleague General Ray Odierno just at the point of no return on plans to release inflammatory detainee abuse photos.  He’s been dancing backwards ever since.

If Petraeus comes out in favor of Obamanomics, massive expansion of the public sector, open borders, and the indictment of John Yoo, or declares the Bush-Cheney Administration a “terror state,” or describes the death by exposure of “born alive” abortion victims as “on balance” a necessity, then, sure, lots of us would say, “Thanks for your service, General, but you’re in the wrong party.”  But he’s done none of those things.  In the meantime you’ll probably be able to count the number of conservatives who peremptorily reject him over his RFE/RL remarks on the hand that you have left over after counting those of us who rejected Sarah Palin over her “non-traditional” lifestyle – another problem dreamed up for conservatives by leftwingers who seem never to have met one.

***

UDPATE:  Three relevant items of interest:

1.  Why’d Obama switch on detainee photos? Maliki went ballistic

The above article, at McClatchy, adds background to the depiction of Obama having been “scared straight” regarding release of detainee abuse photos.  Although the headline and lede put the emphasis on Maliki’s reaction, the article itself describes a wider reaction, with Odierno playing a critical role.  Maliki plotzes, Odierno confirms, Obama caves.  Total speculation:  If officials are spreading the idea that it was Maliki primarily, it may be because someone didn’t like the notion advanced by in-the-know lefties like Thomas Ricks that Obama was getting “rolled” by his generals.

2.  Petraeus Does Geneva

Andy McCarthy at the Corner provides about the strongest reaction I’ve seen so far from the right critical of Petraeus.  I think McCarthy and Petraeus are to some extent talking past each other – for reasons already discussed at length in the comments – but I think Petraeus would do well to speak with a little more care about how his messages are received on the home front.  (OMG – now someone’s going to say I’m trying to purge him!)

3.  Poll: Most oppose closing Gitmo

Though the poll appears pre-cooked – generally addressing a specific alternative to Gitmo, transfer of the inmates to the US, that we already knew was deeply unpopular – it stil underlines a significant disjunction between, on the one side, “elite opinion” and standing policy, and, on the other, popular opinion.   When I suggested above that “most Americans” supported closing the facility, presuming good alternatives, I might have noted that most Americans would likely support closing their County Jails if there were “good” alternatives.

Due to lax computer security that’s been a trademark of politicians of late, someone managed to get their hands on the speech, excerpts of which are presented here.

**********

Place: France — June 6, 2009
Occasion: D-Day Anniversary/Muslim outreach
Theme: “These are the boys of Pointe du Hope”

Sixty-five years ago, right here in France, over 160,000 men, 5,000 ships, 10,000 aircraft, and thousands more mechanized tools of war requiring hundreds of thousands of gallons of fuel converged on a 50-mile stretch of shoreline and precipitated battles we still find ourselves engaged in today: climate change and beach erosion.
[...]
D-Day was a community outreach program unprecedented in scope and unmatched in hope.
[...]
Fellow citizens of the global community, we’re here to honor the tens of thousands of men who made the ultimate sacrifice on this hallowed ground so a woman’s right to choose shall not perish from the earth.
[...]
These men came from all different backgrounds and belief systems: Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Islam, Mormon and more Muslims — but all had one common goal: Common goals. Without common goals, change is not possible, and it’s upon this change that common goals are achieved, provided that’s our common goal.
[...]
You veterans who have seen those pictures of me in Hawaii know that I too have also taken a beach by storm (pause for laughter).
[...]
Though some of you may view me — the president of the only country to ever use nuclear weapons against another nation in what might possibly be the greatest over-reaction in history — as being a perpetrator rather than a liberator, I’m here to tell you… that’s a view I’m willing to sit down and discuss at length.
[...]
We thank the people of France for their understanding. It’s been said that U.S. forces, via friendly fire incidents, killed more French civilians than the Nazis did, and yet you welcomed us today with open arms when it would have been easy for you to clench your fists toward America. I ask the world to look upon France as a shining beacon of tolerance. Never before in history has a nation so selflessly accepted liberation from tyranny.
[...]
Under my unilateral disarmament plan, if there ever is another D-Day, nobody will be killed because there won’t be any weapons to discharge. That’s a war everybody can live with.
[...]
But no matter how horrific the deeds of the Nazis, we cannot turn a blind eye to the actions that may have precipitated those deeds. We must always be prepared to take an honest personal inventory in order to weed out that which may anger others, giving them no option other than war.
[...]
It’s important to note here that German troops taken into custody by the United States were not waterboarded, as Bush and Cheney would have ordered.
[...]
Let us not forget that some good arose from the ashes of World War II: The United Nations. Without those people we labeled as “enemies,” the U.N. may not have been organized so rapidly. Let this be an example for generations to come that even those who we may label as “madmen” or “despots” still have something to offer the global community. Just because the clam might have a rough, hard shell doesn’t mean you won’t find a pearl in there.
[...]
But mistakes were made. D-Day was entered into without an exit strategy, and sometimes the best exit strategy is not to enter into something in the first place, as the ongoing war in Iraq tells us each and every day.
[...]
The lesson of D-Day is clear: All diplomatic avenues must be exhausted before military action becomes an option. If someone during this time of strife could have managed to successfully negotiated with the Nazis, countless lives could have been saved, and it may have prevented the Allies from mercilessly firebombing Dresden. My uncle had already liberated the death camps, so that was no longer a concern.
[...]
These are the boys of what I call Pointe du Hope.
[...]
Hey, has anybody seen the Queen? I got her another iPod loaded with more of my speeches.

US Energy Secretary Steven Chu, taking part in a climate change symposium in London, said that, in order to stave off climate change, the world’s roofs should be painted white, and roads, sidewalks, etc., should be a paler color.

Admittedly, as a white male, I was starting to get a little down on myself in the past few years, what with being blamed for all the world’s ills — so I was more than thrilled to read that the unfortunate color I seem to have been born is finally being recognized as potentially eco-friendly. Sure, Indian reservations, the atomic bomb, corporate greed and Vanilla Ice are still my bad, but at least white is getting kudos for being good for something now.

But I can’t help but wonder where Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are during all this “White is Right” talk as it concerns the environment. Surely the financially-motivated paranoia that keeps these race-baiters clicking can find a way to accuse Chu of being in the pocket of some secret organization dedicated to racial genocide in the name of the environment, can’t they? And if that doesn’t work, just accuse him of raping a stripper at a frat party.

Jackson and Sharpton must know this madness won’t stop at roofs and roads. The next thing you know, dark clothes will be responsible for climate change — and then, dark people. At that point, how long can it be until the only way we can dress in order to save the planet will be like Sen. Robert Byrd circa 1941, whose clothing color of choice was eco-friendly before eco-friendly was cool:

Wake up, Reverends! There’s finally a legitimate reason for you to be enraged and you’re AWOL.

But maybe a plan is being developed to placate Sharpton and Jackson, because it’s also being reported that scientists are developing “cool colors,” which might look like a darker color to the human eye but reflect like whiter shades — kind of the Wayne Brady of color science.

It’s an ironclad scientific fact that a white roof will quell global warming. For example, when your roof is covered in white snow, is it hot outside? I didn’t think so.

All joking aside, why am I guessing that this discussion is only starting because Al Gore is now in full control of the world’s white paint supply?

But Ida has now shocked the scientific community even further for apparently coming out in favor of biblical creationism after an encounter with televangelist and faith healer Benny Hinn.

According to Hinn’s website, Ida met with Hinn and was healed of a chronic and painful wrist fracture (see photo below released by Hinn Ministries). The pastor convinced Ida that Darwin was wrong, prompting Ida to re-examine her entire existence.

Hinn claims the following on his website: “Ida met with me and ultimately renounced the satanic forces controlling the Army of Darkness that put a talus bone in her foot in order to lead people away from the literal word of God. This is a cunning and evil enemy we’re up against who often uses paleontologists to spread their anti-Genesis cancer, and I’m pleased that Ida is standing with me in opposing this evil by renouncing her own discovery.”

Ida herself could not be reached for comment, leaving many in the scientific community skeptical of Pastor Hinn’s claims.

It’s also being reported that Ida is considering a lawsuit against Google for using her image without permission, though this couldn’t be verified by press time.

In a related story, an organization called “Americans for Truth in Business Origins” (ATBO) is claiming that Larry Page and Sergey Brin did not create Google, but rather the company evolved from the Dewey Decimal System.

The group supports this claim by referencing the recent discovery of an ancient Dewey card for a book entitled “Be your own plumber.” ATBO claims this proves that Google descended from Dewey during the HTML epoch, because the same book can be accessed via Google, linking the two and establishing Dewey as a Google ancestor.

“The notion that Page and Brin ‘created’ Google has just been disproved,” said one ATBO member.

Norman Hsu — one of the foremost Democrat donation bundlers in recent years — was found guilty earlier today of illegal campaign contributions. Hsu raked in hundreds of thousands of dollars for Hillary Clinton and other powerful Democrats.

…a jury convicted Mr. Hsu of four counts of campaign-finance fraud after about 2½ hours of deliberations. Each count carries up to five years in prison…

…In 2007, Mrs. Clinton’s presidential campaign agreed to return $850,000 in funds raised through Mr. Hsu. During the trial, the government introduced a voice-mail message of support to Mr. Hsu left by Mrs. Clinton…

“What am I going to do with you, Norman? You are working so hard for me,” Mrs. Clinton said. “I just don’t even know what to say anymore. I’ve never seen anybody who has been more loyal and more effective and really just having greater success supporting someone than you.”

Once featured on the Hillary for President website, Hsu was quickly tossed down the memory hole once the suspect donations became public.

Clinton, Jefferson, Mollohan, Waters, Murtha, Pelosi, Feinstein, Reid, Rangel, Dodd… oh, and Obama, of course… now that’s what I call a Culture of Corruption.

South Bend, IN (PNN): President Obama’s inspiring speech at Notre Dame on Sunday afternoon, in which the president called for a “fair minded” approach to the issue of abortion to the wild applause of graduates of the Catholic university, has inspired pro-choice liberals to consider Catholicism as a religious lifestyle.

A recent Pew survey found that 45% of people describing themselves as “pro-abortion” on fetal values and “liberal” politically were more likely to consider joining the Catholic Church now that it has, by virtue of being in absentia on the debate, removed baby killing through the third trimester from its platform of out-dated and non-progressive principles.

“I was looking for a religion that didn’t compromise my tightly-held beliefs,” said Monica Hapman, a receptionist at Planned Parenthood of South Bend. “Notre Dame and the Vatican’s providing of a forum for President Obama to present his views on the often overlooked virtues of rightness, morality, idealism and hope that can accompany slaughtering the unborn for purposes of convenience were a big turn-on for me.”

Hapman, who says she is liberal politically and spends her free time lobbying the government to end the horrific practice of waterboarding terrorist suspects, now describes herself as “at least 50% more likely to advise parents I meet to send their kids to Notre Dame if they them live.”

Others surveyed said that they would be more likely to attend Catholic churches and universities if abortion and other formerly frowned-upon activities were to be accepted as non-sins because it would cut down on the confession time — a major reason many people avoid the Catholic church, according to an internal Vatican study.

In addition to the 45% who are more likely to consider Catholicism since Obama’s speech, a full 60% of those who describe themselves as social liberals said they would consider becoming Catholic if the church would drop its opposition to gay marriage, and a whopping 85% said they would join if they “stopped talking about the Virgin Mary and Jesus so much.”

Obama Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said that the president will lecture Catholics on being more fair-minded about those issues when he delivers next year’s Notre Dame commencement address. The Vatican couldn’t be reached for comment.

Israel’s internal intelligence service urged the public Monday to exercise caution when using Facebook, saying Arabs are trying to recruit spies on the popular social networking site.

This is a good warning for all of us to pay attention to, isn’t it Vice President Biden? … Er, Vice President Biden?