Green Room

“Conservative Acquaintance Annoyingly Not Racist”

posted at 2:06 pm on February 11, 2014 by

A little mid-day treat from an unlikely source.

Recently in the Green Room:

Blowback

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Cute.

Chris of Rights on February 11, 2014 at 2:24 PM

nice!

and with a realistic ending, too.

Hardwick later concluded that her acquaintance’s opposition to most of President Obama’s policies meant he was probably “close enough” to count as a racist.

truthalwayswins on February 11, 2014 at 2:30 PM

“depressingly realistic ending”, that is…

truthalwayswins on February 11, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Who knew that simply telling the truth could be so amusing?

besser tot als rot on February 11, 2014 at 2:34 PM

1) You hold conservative positions because you are stupid.
2) Because you are so stupid that you actually hold conservative positions, you are also too stupid to realize that you are, in fact, racist.

End of discussion.

/Liberal

And this position amounts to an MSNBC host giving a conservative the benefit of the doubt.

JimLennon on February 11, 2014 at 2:41 PM

Hilarious!

22044 on February 11, 2014 at 2:46 PM

Gotta love the Onion. Sometimes it rings so close to the truth.

Hill60 on February 11, 2014 at 2:50 PM

Gotta love the Onion. Sometimes it rings so close to the truth.

Hill60 on February 11, 2014 at 2:50 PM

Good satire always does.

gryphon202 on February 11, 2014 at 3:24 PM

AP – if you’re going to create a thread about something – please actually post it. Some of us have firewalls preventing us from getting to many of the links you use.

dentarthurdent on February 11, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Lol. In real life the “liberal” would have just screamed a bunch of bumper stickers at such a person, and, when those failed, hurl insults, and then, afterward, flat out lie to the news organization and swear up and down that the person had ‘I hate other races’ tattooed on their forehead. And then had union goons beat them up.

WhatSlushfund on February 11, 2014 at 3:39 PM

The most amusing part of this anecdote is that a racist-hunting Liberal entertained the idea that someone wasn’t racist. What a compliment to them, to suggest they could be swayed by evidence!

Also in the news: an interview with a Pro-Lifer who apparently doesn’t want women to be forced to stay at home, bare-foot and pregnant.

LancerDL on February 11, 2014 at 6:14 PM

Silly girl. You’re not supposed to actually listen to his arguments looking for racist comments. The moment you find out he’s a conservative, start shrieking “Racist!!!” until the conversation comes to an end.

Grammar Nazi on February 11, 2014 at 6:40 PM

Gotta love the Onion. Sometimes it rings so close to the truth.

Hill60 on February 11, 2014 at 2:50 PM

No, you don’t. They are 100% in the tank for the Liberal cause. I live where they originated, and although they can be funny they are the enemy.

M240H on February 11, 2014 at 7:52 PM

Just because you don’t make racist statements or discriminate against anyone doesn’t mean you’re not a racist. That’s right, you might be a racist and not even know it, at least according to Melissa Harris-Perry (AKA tampon earring girl). Harris-Perry claims to have the gift of sensing the concealed racism of the white privileged, even when they are unaware of their own racist mindset.

polly2150 on February 11, 2014 at 7:54 PM

I read the piece, and it was obviously a satire of close-minded liberals.

But then I thought, “This is The Onion we’re talking about.” So, obviously, the article is somehow actually satirizing non-racist conservatives.

But then I thought, “This is The Onion we’re talking about.” And I remembered that leftists such as those who author fake stories at The Onion wholeheartedly believe the term “non-racist conservative” to be an oxymoron.

But then I thought, “This is The Onion we’re talking about.” They run fake stories. That’s kinda their thing. So, they could totally run a piece that satirizes close-minded liberals with a concept in which they don’t even believe.

Then it hit me: “This is The Onion we’re talking about.” They’ve cleverly run a piece satirizing close-minded liberals with a concept in which they don’t even believe with the express purpose of catching unsuspecting (and obviously racist) conservatives in an infinite feedback loop, thus politically neutralizing them and their evil (and racist!) agenda until after the November elections.

Right?

yaedon on February 11, 2014 at 9:56 PM

All those wondering why a lefty satire site posted something mocking lefties and making conservatives look good:

Even a broken clock tells the correct time twice a day.

Johnny 100 Pesos on February 12, 2014 at 2:53 AM

I don’t suppose being married to someone of another race for over 35 years would do it. Wanting people to succeed based on their talents and achievements is now un-American. I wonder where I belong, because it’s certainly not here.

thefirstMarkD on February 12, 2014 at 7:26 AM

I don’t suppose being married to someone of another race for over 35 years would do it.

thefirstMarkD on February 12, 2014 at 7:26 AM

No, no. It just shows you are extra sneaky about your racism and willing to go deep undercover to hide it.

CJ on February 12, 2014 at 9:06 AM

AP – if you’re going to create a thread about something – please actually post it. Some of us have firewalls preventing us from getting to many of the links you use.

dentarthurdent on February 11, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Here, only the video portions are blocked. The ‘articles’ are generally open. We can also get to Dilbert here. Surprising but true.

GWB on February 12, 2014 at 9:34 AM

A “racist” is evidently anyone who says something even remotely related to race or ethnicity (and no matter how true or free of ideology) that some self-righteous liberal does not approve of.

The word as typically used is a political tool and should be ignored as such.

Chessplayer on February 12, 2014 at 12:55 PM

I don’t suppose being married to someone of another race for over 35 years would do it.
thefirstMarkD on February 12, 2014 at 7:26 AM
No, no. It just shows you are extra sneaky about your racism and willing to go deep undercover to hide it.
CJ on February 12, 2014 at 9:06 AM

Exactly — just like Nobama is deeply undercover, pretending to be a U.S. citizen and not Muslim. Only I’m not being sarcastic or satirical.

brentspolemics on February 12, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Gotta love the Onion. Sometimes it rings so close to the truth.

I see what you did there.

nekodachi on February 13, 2014 at 12:23 AM


HotAir — Politics, Culture, Media, 2017, Breaking News from a conservative viewpoint
Top Pick

Rocking the boat majorly

Top Pick

Big government never contracts. It only grows more powerful

It’s only a “ban” until it becomes inconvenient

The decline and fall of Obamacare and the AHCA

Jazz Shaw Jun 24, 2017 8:31 AM

This was all over before it began

Fixing crime in America is a complicated issue

Taylor Millard Jun 23, 2017 8:31 PM

Cops alone won’t solve it.

Victim’s father was President Maduro’s supervisor back when he was a bus driver.

Democrats forgot all about the “era of good feelings”

“Bernie and Jane Sanders have lawyered up.”

“the Judiciary Committee is examining the circumstances surrounding the removal of James Comey.”

Winning isn’t everything. It is the only thing

Trump signs VA reform bill into law

John Sexton Jun 23, 2017 2:41 PM

“What happened was a national disgrace, and yet some of the employees involved in these scandals remained on the payrolls.”

A new era of something.

“…died suddenly in less than a week just after his return to the U.S.”

The shortsightedness of “Denounce and Preserve”

Taylor Millard Jun 23, 2017 12:11 PM

Pragmatism for the sake of pragmatism doesn’t always work.

Perhaps if you threw in a new car?

Gay marriages still growing, but not as fast

Andrew Malcolm Jun 23, 2017 10:31 AM

More, but not as quickly.

Should’ve stuck with the pirate gig. It was working for him

The battle for the rubble of Raqqa is underway

Andrew Malcolm Jun 23, 2017 8:51 AM

Won’t be much left.

Your list of demands is a publicity stunt

“what happened that day was emblematic of a deeply troubling trend among progressives…”

“The jobs are still leaving. Nothing has stopped.”

Bad vendor. Bad! No cookie!

“The Corps is just starting to grapple with the issues the court has identified.”

“So you want me to sing my praises, is that what you’re saying?”

Why would we possibly want that?

“I mean he sold our country to The Russians.”

I could think of someone else you might want to ask about…

“You can ask a hundred people what hate speech is and you get a thousand different answers”

Trump: I never made any recordings of Comey

Allahpundit Jun 22, 2017 2:01 PM

Bluff.

Hackers stole private data from election databases

John Sexton Jun 22, 2017 1:21 PM

“90,000 records stolen by Russian state actors contained drivers license numbers”

Failure to protect the city

Big man on the Middle Eastern campus

Biased Americans see media as biased.

Tough times down on the liberal ranch