Green Room

Confirmed: Team USA’s outfits for the opening ceremony at Sochi are pretty terrible

posted at 10:10 am on January 23, 2014 by

“How about the ugliest Christmas sweater you can think of, except more Olympic-y?” “Sounds great, I’ll get right on it.”

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Did the Chinese make them? Canada made them once. Is there not a company in the United States (in the 50 states) that can do it?

Bambi on January 23, 2014 at 10:16 AM

Looks like the Ralph Lauren stuff you see on the clearance racks that never sells.

Aplombed on January 23, 2014 at 10:24 AM

They are a bit busy. On the other hand, they’re not the worst Olympic uniforms I’ve seen.

trigon on January 23, 2014 at 10:24 AM

One word…gaudy!

Or as Biden would say, two words gaud ee…

right2bright on January 23, 2014 at 10:24 AM

This is what happens when womyn are allowed to design men’s “fashion”, instead of the figure skating team.

Jeddite on January 23, 2014 at 10:26 AM

Pretty sure Lacy won’t have a problem wearing that…

right2bright on January 23, 2014 at 10:30 AM

Why couldn’t we have uni’s like the Norwegian Curling Team?

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 10:35 AM

Looks like the Ralph Lauren stuff you see on the clearance racks that never sells.

Aplombed on January 23, 2014 at 10:24 AM

Looks like that clearance rack was sold…to the USOC.

Steve Eggleston on January 23, 2014 at 10:35 AM

I’d say they are “out” (hey, just quoting CBS). Evidence of a bad runway experience or hipster wannabes.

SteveInRTP on January 23, 2014 at 10:38 AM

I was searching for the right words to describe those “outfits*.”

“Ugly Christmas sweater” nails it.

*Don’t call what your wearing an outfit.
Don’t ever say your car is broke.
Don’t sing with a fake British accent.
Don’t act like your family’s a joke.

Have fun, but stay clear of the needle,
Call home on your sister’s birthday.
Don’t tell them you’re bigger than Jesus,
Don’t give it away.

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 10:42 AM

Why couldn’t we have uni’s like the Norwegian Curling Team?

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 10:35 AM

That is crazypants–literally. Clicking on that gave me seizure.

juliesa on January 23, 2014 at 10:42 AM

Bambi on January 23, 2014 at 10:16 AM

The article says these were made in the USA.

GWB on January 23, 2014 at 10:45 AM

Designed by Don King would have looked better

AH_C on January 23, 2014 at 10:57 AM

Making Pajamaboy proud.

RedNewEnglander on January 23, 2014 at 11:07 AM

Design By Michelle™

Xavier on January 23, 2014 at 11:09 AM

What there: Totally appropriate use of the American flag.

What’s missing: Image of Uncle Sam on the crotch and two DD sized pink pom poms on the hat in support of breast cancer awareness.

Nomennovum on January 23, 2014 at 11:12 AM

Did the Chinese make them? Canada made them once. Is there not a company in the United States (in the 50 states) that can do it?
Bambi on January 23, 2014 at 10:16 AM

The problem isn’t who made them. Who designed that sh*t?

aryeung on January 23, 2014 at 11:15 AM

Why couldn’t we have uni’s like the Norwegian Curling Team?

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 10:35 AM

Those Norwegian uniforms would be great for a contact sport, like football or hockey. You could not be sure where the player wearing them actually is if you try to block or tackle them. Reminds me of the dazzle camouflage of World War I. (Talk about retro!)

No Truce With Kings on January 23, 2014 at 11:19 AM

all they need is that hat the little popcorn eating movie usher wears

DanMan on January 23, 2014 at 11:21 AM

Yeah, they’ll be wearing those everywhere after the opening ceremony… NOT

Soon to be seen on deep-discount racks of whatever unlucky retailer is burdened with carrying them. Sears would be a good fit.

Marcola on January 23, 2014 at 11:25 AM

Not only is the sweater way too busy why the heck is he wearing sweatpants? Do these athletes work all their dang lives to stroll in wearing sweatpants?

Rocks on January 23, 2014 at 11:27 AM

It doesn’t look very manly . I’m not sure Comrade Putin would approve .

EnglishRogue on January 23, 2014 at 11:30 AM

They look pretty gay to me … oh, wait, maybe that’s the point?

ShainS on January 23, 2014 at 11:50 AM

Not only is the sweater way too busy why the heck is he wearing sweatpants? Do these athletes work all their dang lives to stroll in wearing sweatpants?

Rocks on January 23, 2014 at 11:27 AM

Those aren’t sweatpants. Those are meggings.

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 12:04 PM

ShainS on January 23, 2014 at 11:50 AM

ShainS, your customized coffee mug is waiting for you downstairs… ;-)

Fallon on January 23, 2014 at 12:08 PM

Less is more, way too much going on those uniforms.

Imrahil on January 23, 2014 at 12:31 PM

Those are incredibly ugly. I wouldn’t even relegate them to my rag bag for car washing – they’d go straight to the trash bin.

climbnjump on January 23, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Yeah, the Hammer and Sickle never really came back as a
fashion statement…

ToddPA on January 23, 2014 at 12:58 PM

Ugh. Loud. And then sweatpants with a weird cuff thing at the bottom?

I thought we would have found someone other than Ralph Lauren after last time.

TexasDan on January 23, 2014 at 1:09 PM

They should have all been dressed as cowboys

MoreLiberty on January 23, 2014 at 1:16 PM

Did the Chinese make them? Canada made them once. Is there not a company in the United States (in the 50 states) that can do it?

Bambi on January 23, 2014 at 10:16 AM

Perhaps they were made in China, but like a lot of the crap you get they were likely designed and spec’d in the USA.

DarkCurrent on January 23, 2014 at 1:59 PM

Great Aunt Mabel and her friends at the senior center worked very hard knitting those uniforms.

Just for being unkind, she won’t be sending any of you ingrates the matching toilet paper cozies they made.

Laura in Maryland on January 23, 2014 at 7:05 PM

I believe the State department also advised athletes not to wear these outfits outside of the (150 mile) security zone.

They claimed it was for security reasons, but in view of Benghazi, it must just be that this couture was a “man-made disaster”, likely to be offensive to onlooker sensitivities, provoking spontaneous demonstration, leading to violence.

virgo on January 28, 2014 at 2:36 AM