Green Room

Bad news, men: Study shows bacon lowers fertility

posted at 11:45 am on October 16, 2013 by

Will this stop the advance of bacon in our culture?  I’m certain science will find a way around this:

A new study says that men should stay away from bacon if they are trying to become fathers.

Researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health evaluated more than 150 men by having them complete a questionnaire and provide sperm samples.

Men who ate between one and three servings of processed meats, like bacon, had worse sperm shapes than men who ate the fewest servings.  Men who ate the most white meat fish like halibut, had better sperm shape than those men who ate the least.

Thankfully, I’m past the age of caring about this.  We seniors will just have to work more to carry the burden of Bacon Saturation.

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Think of it as birth control.

myiq2xu on October 16, 2013 at 11:49 AM

So you don’t have to share your bacon.

mad saint jack on October 16, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Wild hogs are made of bacon, and they’re breeding like rabbits.

backwoods conservative on October 16, 2013 at 11:58 AM

A double bacon cheeseburger beats wearing a jimmy hat every time.

M240H on October 16, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Tell that to my fourth child when he arrives in Feb.

The Schaef on October 16, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Because Sweden has an over-fertility problem….. *eyeroll*

On a side note, the shape they’re in doesn’t matter much if they have nowhere to go.

GWB on October 16, 2013 at 12:19 PM

Yeah, but bacon men get more women than Tofu men.

Oil Can on October 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM

So if bacon can be used to prevent pregnancy, can we get it for free under Obamacare?

Shump on October 16, 2013 at 12:43 PM

So if bacon can be used to prevent pregnancy, can we get it for free under Obamacare?

Shump on October 16, 2013 at 12:43 PM

That would be a prime example of pork barrel spending.

Obama would never go for it. His Muslim faith forbids it.

backwoods conservative on October 16, 2013 at 12:53 PM

I see the anti-bacon forces have gotten to you too, Mr Morrissey…

JohnGalt23 on October 16, 2013 at 12:53 PM

A double bacon cheeseburger beats wearing a jimmy hat every time.

M240H on October 16, 2013 at 12:01 PM

McSafe-sex.

And since I’m not too worried about “shapely sperm” I’ll continue to enjoy crisp, salty bacon every chance I get :P

JetBoy on October 16, 2013 at 1:03 PM

On a side note, the shape they’re in doesn’t matter much if they have nowhere to go.

GWB on October 16, 2013 at 12:19 PM

My sinuses now have coffee in them.

44Magnum on October 16, 2013 at 1:10 PM

Wild hogs are made of bacon, and they’re breeding like rabbits.

backwoods conservative on October 16, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Actually wild boar meat is better for you since it doesn’t have all the preservatives & crap in it like processed bacon.

Juts a hunch, but I imagine that it’s all those preservatives & chemicals that are affecting male fertility.

UltimateBob on October 16, 2013 at 2:46 PM

A delicious male contraceptive finally!

BL@KBIRD on October 16, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Wait a minute….is this like “settled science” produced by grant sucking poser scientists with a commie agenda as in AGW or whatever the new term is this year?

BL@KBIRD on October 16, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Not bad news for me. I’ll take bacon over procreation in a heartbeat.

rrpjr on October 16, 2013 at 4:04 PM

TEMS Chatizen weebork hardest hit. Where, I won’t speculate :)

simkeith on October 16, 2013 at 6:01 PM

Canadian(ham)bacon, or back fat(real :P )bacon?

S. D. on October 16, 2013 at 9:47 PM

The New Sexy for promiscuous, single women: that guy eating the bacon burger in the corner at the computer reading HotAir.

princetrumpet on October 17, 2013 at 9:51 AM