Green Room

HealthCare.gov passwords have to be reset … through the call center

posted at 10:00 am on October 10, 2013 by

Alternate headline: 1996 Technology Can Still Be Used Today!

Have fun storming the wait times, folks:

If you’re trying to access your Obamacare account on Healthcare.gov, you may be told your password needs to be reset.

“All passwords were deleted for existing accounts as part of the upgrade process,” a call center representative told CNN’s Elizabeth Cohen. The representative said users experiencing issues must call in to reset their password; it cannot be done online.

Representatives can be reached at 1-800-318-2596.

Operators are standing by. If you call now, you may get a second password change for just shipping and handling, but you’d better clear your weekend schedule.

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This doesn’t sound very secure.

pain train on October 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM

This doesn’t sound very secure.

pain train on October 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM

It’s not supposed to be.

Steve Eggleston on October 10, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Say, that’s a toll-free number, isn’t it? I wonder if can order pizza through it…?

JohnGalt23 on October 10, 2013 at 10:22 AM

I hope Mr. Henderson likes the sound of elevator music while on hold for 18 hours straight.

blammm on October 10, 2013 at 10:36 AM

Say, that’s a toll-free number, isn’t it? I wonder if can order pizza through it…?

JohnGalt23 on October 10, 2013 at 10:22 AM

And quite a familiar one at that….

PlaceboCare is brought to you by 1-800-F!UCK-YOU, where we don’t even have the damn courtesy to give you a reacharound.

Steve Eggleston on October 10, 2013 at 10:38 AM

I just changed my password for my Kohls.com account. Twice. Just because I could.

ctmom on October 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM

And the hits just keep on coming

cmsinaz on October 10, 2013 at 11:06 AM

1-800-itsucks

Why don’t they make it simple and just give everyone the same password.

Problem solved.

MichaelGabriel on October 10, 2013 at 11:22 AM

I just changed my password for my Kohls.com account. Twice. Just because I could.

ctmom on October 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Indeed.

But the Democrats will tell you that Capitalism is to blame for ObamaCare’s problems, and we need Single Payer as a “solution”.

ITguy on October 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM

This is insane. I mean really. Obama, Pelosi, and Reid wanted to take over one-fifth of the economy through health care, and here we have incompetence and disaster in a vain attempt just to get people signed up!

INC on October 10, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I just changed my password for my Kohls.com account. Twice. Just because I could.

ctmom on October 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM

:D

INC on October 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM

The beatings will continue until morale improves. This is only the beginning.

JimK on October 10, 2013 at 12:17 PM

I just changed my password for my Kohls.com account. Twice. Just because I could.

ctmom on October 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Another example of public vs. private:

David Burge‏ @iowahawkblog 4 Oct
Government website: http://www.nps.gov
Private website: http://web.archive.org/web/20130821221342/http://www.nps.gov/index.htm

ITguy on October 10, 2013 at 12:18 PM

Let me guess. Indian (dot not feather)

syg (h/t Ace) why not, for security sake and to bolster ‘capitalism’ at the USPS

Postcards

giant leaps for technology, etc.

mickytx on October 10, 2013 at 1:31 PM

“All passwords were deleted for existing accounts as part of the upgrade process,”

That’s some upgrade process. Don’t get too comfy with your password cause they delete ‘em when they put out a new version.

Bitter Clinger on October 10, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Or just drop us a telegragh at … — …

Sefton on October 10, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Use smoke signals… morse code…

If somebody is stupid enough to trust them now… I hope they get what is inevitable.

petunia on October 10, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Attempting to Set A New Password:
Website: Sorry that password has expired – you must register a new one.
User: Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?
Website: No, but your password has expired – you must get a new one.
User: Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?
Website: Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 30 days.
User: Can I use the old one and just re-register it?
Website: No, you must get a new one.
User: I don’t want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.
Website: Sorry, you must get a new one.
User: OK, roses
Website: Sorry you must use more letters.
User: OK, pretty roses
Website: No good, you must use at least one number.
User: OK, 1 pretty rose
Website: Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.
User: OK, 1prettyrose
Website: Sorry, you must use additional letters.
User: OK, 1fuckingprettyrose
Website: Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.
User: OK, 1FVCKINGprettyrose
Website: Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.
User: OK, 1Fvckingprettyrose
Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters.
User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourazzifyoudon’tgivemeaccessrightfvckingnow
Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used

katy the mean old lady on October 10, 2013 at 5:19 PM

“All passwords were deleted for existing accounts as part of the upgrade process,”

Will all our electronic medical records get deleted when they have to upgrade that program as well?

MessesWithTexas on October 10, 2013 at 8:01 PM

It may not be too bad. How many people actually got far enough into the system to even get passwords? Reportedly not all that many.

Steven Den Beste on October 10, 2013 at 10:36 PM

Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used

katy the mean old lady on October 10, 2013 at 5:19 PM

LOL well done.

Will all our electronic medical records get deleted when they have to upgrade that program as well?

MessesWithTexas on October 10, 2013 at 8:01 PM

now that really would be a feature, and not a bug.

inviolet on October 11, 2013 at 11:24 AM

Conversation at the Obamacare Password Change Center:

(One ringy-dingy. Two ringy-dingies)
Phone-bot: Welcome to the Obamacare Password Change Center. For English press 1. Para espanol aprima dos.
User: (Presses 1).
Phone-bot: Thank you. All our password change representatives are busy. Your approximate waiting time is 17 minutes. Did you know you can get free lobster from the Government? While you’re waiting, just call XXX-xxx-XXXX to enroll for the SNAP program. and you will eat free nutritious meals paid for by rich Tea Party Republicans.

(Two movements of a Mozart symphony)

Obamacare Rep: Obamacare Pashword Change Shenter. May I help you?

User: Yes. This is Jane Doe, and I would like a new Obamacare password.

Rep: What shtate do you live in?
User: Wisconsin.
Rep: Wishconshin. And you Shoshal Shecurity number?
User: What? This is a really bad connection.
Rep: We’re shorry. No money to fix the phones. What is your Shoshal Security number?
User: (gives Social Security Number).
Rep: What is you mother’s maiden name?
User: (responds)
Rep: What is your grandmother’s maiden name?
User: Which one?
Rep: Which what?
User: Which grandmother?
Rep: Your mother’s mother.
User: I don’t know, she died before I was born.
Rep: I’m shorry, we can’t issue you a new pashword without it. But we could issue you a temporary pashword for a $100 fee, payable by Visha, Mashter Card, or American Ekshpresh.
User: (groans) Wait till I find it. Okay, here it is (reads credit card number).
Rep: Sho what pashword do you want to ushe?
User: FBZ8.
Rep: Esh V She A?
User: No F as in Frank.
Rep: Right. Esh as in shrank. Esh V She A.
User: B as in boy.
Rep: V as in me voy. Right. Esh V she A.
User: No, B as in Bravo.
Rep: Yesh. V as in braVo. Esh V she A.
User: And that’s Z as in Zebra.
Rep: Alyebra? A as in Alyebra?
User: No, the number 8.
Rep: Oh, so it’s Esh V she A 8. Congratulations, you are now registered with the password Esh V she A 8. Thank you for calling the Obamacare Pashword Change Shenter. (hangs up).

User: Now, what is my password? Is it FBZ8, or SBZ8, or FVZ8, or SVCA, or FVC8, or something else?

Steve Z on October 11, 2013 at 12:06 PM