Green Room

Tales from the shutdown apocalypse: White House edition

posted at 12:05 pm on October 2, 2013 by

Via Charles Cooke. Can America endure?

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Solution – MOAR VACATIONS!!!!1!!1EleVenTY~!~!@

Of course, they’ll be limited to two flights between the family and dinn…er…dogs.

Steve Eggleston on October 2, 2013 at 12:13 PM

5) New distilleries, breweries and wineries won’t open. Certain businesses that manufacture or distribute alcohol — and firearms, ammunition and tobacco products — require permits from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, which won’t accept new applications during the shutdown.

OK, now this is serious.

rbj on October 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

90?! Are you kidding me. Make it a permanent furlough.

conservative pilgrim on October 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

Imagine if this Prez were a Republican. Oh, the headlines….

conservative pilgrim on October 2, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I’m still wandering about lost and confused without FLOTUS twitter.

John the Libertarian on October 2, 2013 at 12:48 PM

I’m still wandering about lost and confused without FLOTUS twitter.

John the Libertarian on October 2, 2013 at 12:48 PM

I find myself forgetting to hydrate.

steebo77 on October 2, 2013 at 12:51 PM

5) New distilleries, breweries and wineries won’t open. Certain businesses that manufacture or distribute alcohol — and firearms, ammunition and tobacco products — require permits from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, which won’t accept new applications during the shutdown.

I fail to find the relevant Article, Section and Clause in the US Constitution that authorizes the Federal government in licensing alcohol stores. Hmmm… but there IS that pesky 10th Amendment… Oops… better not mention that!

dominigan on October 2, 2013 at 12:58 PM

21) Whales will be on their own. The scientific advisory committee that monitors their safety will shutter all operations, save for a few members, appointed by the president, who will watch for emergencies.

blammm on October 2, 2013 at 1:03 PM

We do have a royal court then, huh?

gwelf on October 2, 2013 at 1:17 PM

We do have a royal court then, huh?

gwelf on October 2, 2013 at 1:17 PM

Why yes, of course – a must for the annointed king.
But oddly enough, ALL of them are jesters….

dentarthurdent on October 2, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Funemployment!

mankai on October 2, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Cry me a river, you marxist turd of a president.

HiJack on October 2, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Don’t worry, the Ohaha dogs still get fed and walked.

And does this mean flotus can’t throw her lavish parties any more?

Sir Napsalot on October 2, 2013 at 2:17 PM

And does this mean flotus can’t throw her lavish parties any more?

Sir Napsalot on October 2, 2013 at 2:17 PM

The parties will be BYOB….

dentarthurdent on October 2, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Too much. Keep the secret service, everyone else goes home. Cook their own food, do their own laundry, poop duty for their own dog.

El_Terrible on October 2, 2013 at 2:42 PM

90 staff members? Dude. Hopefully this government slowdown will open a few eyes to the massive bloat of our federal government.

visions on October 2, 2013 at 3:16 PM

What do you bet this position is one of the 15 he kept on?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGfXiIXTpE0

mrt721 on October 2, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I find myself forgetting to hydrate.

steebo77 on October 2, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Ahahahahaha!

Alana on October 2, 2013 at 4:46 PM

I’m still wandering about lost and confused without FLOTUS twitter.

John the Libertarian on October 2, 2013 at 12:48 PM

I volunteered to take over the account, gratis. Strangely, my offer was not accepted.

JusDreamin on October 2, 2013 at 4:53 PM

I find myself forgetting to hydrate.

steebo77 on October 2, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Actual LOL – thread winner!

Ann on October 2, 2013 at 4:56 PM

And does this mean flotus can’t throw her lavish parties any more?
Sir Napsalot on October 2, 2013 at 2:17 PM

I’ll bet the parties continue – but they will be B.Y.O.B.

dentarthurdent on October 2, 2013 at 5:16 PM

So he has to wipe his own ass now?

Mark1971 on October 2, 2013 at 5:27 PM

SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN!

GarandFan on October 2, 2013 at 5:43 PM

90?! Are you kidding me. Make it a permanent furlough.

conservative pilgrim on October 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

+1

talkingpoints on October 2, 2013 at 9:02 PM

WTF…. 90 frigg’n people to assist a Family of 4 frigg’n people…

no wonder the country is in da crapper…. These are just greedy fcuks

Gawd help us

roflmmfao

donabernathy on October 3, 2013 at 6:18 AM

Did Barry have to let his ball washer go?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T8Gxk7vbec

roflmmfao

donabernathy on October 3, 2013 at 6:54 AM

Oh how will poor marie antionitte survive with only 15 servants.
woe is america.

Will there be enough staff to escort obama to the golf course

will they have to cancel parties at the white house

sniffles1999 on October 3, 2013 at 7:47 AM

So out of 90 white house servants, cooks, maids, security, wine stewards ect.
ONLY 15 are classified as essential,

SO WHY DOES DA ANNOINTED ONE need the extra 75.

I think as a taxpayer he could cut his personal staff down from 90 to at least 45.

sniffles1999 on October 3, 2013 at 7:50 AM

Poor, poor Boy King, little k.

Bmore on October 3, 2013 at 9:35 AM