Green Room

PSA of the day: Beware of skinny dipping visitors

posted at 10:27 am on July 11, 2013 by

Even a former deputy sheriff apparently needs a reminder about “distraction” robberies:

If a strange woman asks to swim in your pool naked, be suspicious.

In Crossville, Tenn., a man and woman asked if the woman could take a skinny dip, and then the man said he was leaving to get cigarettes, according to the Crossville Police Department.

But while the woman swam naked and the distracted homeowner watched, someone robbed the home of nearly $1,000 in jewelry, cash, a handgun and prescription drugs, police said.

“We’ve seen numerous distraction methods – asking for help looking for a dog, asking for help with gas for a stranded car and then people come back and find their home was burglarized,” Crossville Police Department Det. J.C. Hancock said. “They just took it a new level using a naked woman.”

Just remember this rule in life: if something is too good to be true, well … it’s not.

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I would have loved to have heard the later conversation with his wife.

Chris of Rights on July 11, 2013 at 10:46 AM

Who is stupid enough to admit being conned like this?

faraway on July 11, 2013 at 10:54 AM

I hate it when that happens. Was she Swedish?

Seth Halpern on July 11, 2013 at 10:58 AM

I guess it doesn’t take balls to pull that off.

Flange on July 11, 2013 at 11:00 AM

He will claim that her v.agina had a gun.

faraway on July 11, 2013 at 11:03 AM

I think he’s embarrassed because it was Honey Boo Boo and her mom.

Seth Halpern on July 11, 2013 at 11:05 AM

The story I read said the couple were locals, but they were still at large. Odd that.

When the police asked him to describe the woman:
“Well, she came out to about here *hands in front of chest*, nice and round, with…”
“Sir, what color was her hair?”
“Hair? I don’t know. She was shaved.”
“Can you tell me the color of her eyes?”
“Eyes? What eyes?”

GWB on July 11, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Who is stupid enough to admit being conned like this?

faraway on July 11, 2013 at 10:54 AM

If you’re stupid enough to fall for this in the first place….

bigmacdaddy on July 11, 2013 at 11:11 AM

The police acted stupidly.

Too soon?

SagebrushPuppet on July 11, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Bunny and Clyde

Shy Guy on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

Bunny and Clyde

Shy Guy on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

Good one.

Flange on July 11, 2013 at 11:27 AM

How is this different than a strip club? Same investment, same outcome.

hungrymongo on July 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM

If someone asks to skinny dip in your pool, just say, “Only if I can record it and charge admission.”

flataffect on July 11, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Bunny and Clyde

Shy Guy on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

Butch Cassidy and the Skindance Kid.

Ed Morrissey on July 11, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

pain train on July 11, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Butch Cassidy and the Skindance Skinnydip Kid.

Ed Morrissey on July 11, 2013 at 12:16 PM
;)

GWB on July 11, 2013 at 12:42 PM

Bunny and Clyde

Shy Guy on July 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

Butch Cassidy and the Skindance Kid.

Ed Morrissey on July 11, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Yup.

The Perv & The Perp.

The ‘victim’ deserved what he got, BTW.

itsnotaboutme on July 11, 2013 at 12:47 PM

I think the best part of the story is that after an extended period of ogling another man’s naked wife he invited her to church.

Rip Ford on July 11, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Butch Cassidy and the Skindance Kid.
Ed Morrissey on July 11, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Bush Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Dr. Frank Enstine on July 11, 2013 at 1:47 PM

The first thing I would have thought if a stranger asked to use my pool is that they wanted to pull some sort of insurance scam on me. If if I recognized them from the area I’d still say no.

Dr. Frank Enstine on July 11, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I would have loved to have heard the later conversation with his wife.

Chris of Rights on July 11, 2013 at 10:46 AM

Did you read the line about him asking the naked woman to pray with him?

Capitalist Hog on July 11, 2013 at 2:01 PM

Just remember this rule in life: if something is too good to be true, well … it’s not.

Not what? Not ‘too good to be true’, or not true? Kinda vague there. Always better to go with TANSTAAFL.

I would have loved to have heard the later conversation with his wife.
Chris of Rights on July 11, 2013 at 10:46 AM

That assumes there ever was one, or she didn’t already dump him long ago over lesser repeated offenses. Or perhaps there is one, and she’s already long past caring and she’s laughing at him with her friends.

Marcola on July 11, 2013 at 2:01 PM

It just so happens I’ve been investigating Crossville, TN as a possible retirement area. If this is the type of crime I can expect, I’ll bring my binoculars.

SpiderMike on July 11, 2013 at 2:14 PM

IF I had a pool, and allowed some strange woman to skinny-dip while I watched, given that my wife is a jealous/possessive, armed redhead, the burglary would be the least of my concerns.

dentarthurdent on July 11, 2013 at 2:16 PM

The real disappointment is that the news didn’t decide for a dramatic reenactment segment as part of their story.

TexasDan on July 11, 2013 at 2:34 PM

“Every time I think I’ve seen it all, there’s something new,” he [Det. Hancock]said.

Hancock should ask Amaral, ’cause now he has “seen it all”.

Maybe we know why Amaral is a “former” deputy sheriff; at least why he wasn’t a detective.

IrishEyes on July 11, 2013 at 3:37 PM

1 hour watching a (presumably attractive) naked younger woman put on a show… cost, less than $1,000?

I’m not up on recent pricing at gentleman’s clubs; but isn’t that a discount?

gekkobear on July 11, 2013 at 3:40 PM

There is an old internet joke about a guy warning that he had had his pockets picked while giving directions to a naked lady in the street at the corner of such-and-such. You are assured that it is true because happened to him all six times he walked passed the intersection that day.

No Truce With Kings on July 11, 2013 at 4:03 PM

People are making fun of this man, but, from my experience, you have to watch out. This happened to me last week, and twice the week before that. Also, four or five times last summer. Finally, the whole thing got so expensive that I’ve taken to purchasing costume jewelry in bulk, and leaving five or six items on the table every morning during swim season.

morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 5:11 PM

People are making fun of this man, but, from my experience, you have to watch out. This happened to me last week, and twice the week before that. Also, four or five times last summer. Finally, the whole thing got so expensive that I’ve taken to purchasing costume jewelry in bulk, and leaving five or six items on the table every morning during swim season.

morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 5:11 PM

You must be either single – or have a very easy-going wife…..

dentarthurdent on July 11, 2013 at 6:11 PM

That’s why I always say, “Sure, but I need to let my pit bulls out of the bedroom first.”

Dusty on July 11, 2013 at 7:41 PM

[morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 5:11 PM]

Let me see if I understand you. Last week and twice the week before and 4 or 5 times last year a woman (or whoever) asked to skinny-dip in your swimming pool and on each of those 7 or 8 times you said yes and then stood out watching them with the result that you were robbed?

Do I have that right?

Dusty on July 11, 2013 at 7:46 PM

If you’re stupid enough to fall for this in the first place….

[bigmacdaddy on July 11, 2013 at 11:11 AM]

So true.

Dusty on July 11, 2013 at 7:50 PM

People are making fun of this man, but, from my experience, you have to watch out. This happened to me last week, and twice the week before that. Also, four or five times last summer. Finally, the whole thing got so expensive that I’ve taken to purchasing costume jewelry in bulk, and leaving five or six items on the table every morning during swim season.

morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 5:11 PM

It was noble of you to give us the option to laugh at you too.

Capitalist Hog on July 12, 2013 at 12:13 AM

People are making fun of this man, but, from my experience, you have to watch out. This happened to me last week, and twice the week before that. Also, four or five times last summer. Finally, the whole thing got so expensive that I’ve taken to purchasing costume jewelry in bulk, and leaving five or six items on the table every morning during swim season.

morganfrost on July 11, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Please tell me you’re joking…

Othniel on July 12, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Please tell me you’re joking…

Othniel on July 12, 2013 at 12:31 AM

~

RalphyBoy on July 12, 2013 at 2:02 AM

I would have turned her down. My spidey sense would have definitely been going off.

mr.idaho on July 12, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Who is stupid enough to admit being conned like this?

faraway on July 11, 2013 at 10:54 AM

exactly, this stuff happens to me all the time and no one will ever know.

aceinstall on July 12, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I would have turned her down. My spidey sense would have definitely been going off.

mr.idaho on July 12, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Whatever senses I might have had going off – as I indicated earlier, my wife sure as hell wouldn’t have let me let the lady skinny dip in our pool (if I had one).

dentarthurdent on July 12, 2013 at 11:24 AM