Green Room

Newest Japanese invention: “The girlfriend coat”

posted at 11:40 am on April 10, 2013 by

Via Time, here’s the difference between beta males and omega males.

Over/under on when Japan is completely depopulated: 2150.

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Ummmmm…… no.

The Rogue Tomato on April 10, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Japan, we need to talk. It’s time for an intervention… because we care about you.

Mr. Prodigy on April 10, 2013 at 11:53 AM

So there is a premise for the plot lines in the early Big Bang Theory episodes.

Gack.

tru2tx on April 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM

I want to believe the broken English translation is accurate.

DTTS on April 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Japan, we need to talk. It’s time for an intervention… because we care about you.

Mr. Prodigy on April 10, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Sorry, but it’s much, much, much too late.

Dear God in heaven. WTF is wrong with those people?

bigmacdaddy on April 10, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Did China invade Japan and steal all their women?!

Shy Guy on April 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

We laugh…out of this some guy will think, let’s put an “de-accelerameter” on the device, place it in a car…better and cheaper than airbags, and saves more lives…this stuff is corny, but it serves a purpose, being creative.

right2bright on April 10, 2013 at 12:16 PM

only in japan

Sachiko on April 10, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Did China invade Japan and steal all their women?!

Shy Guy on April 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

I’m always saying we need to pull our troops out of Japan. However, I think we need to keep them their and just take over when the place is depoplulated.

FYI, Japanese women are welcomed here.

Oil Can on April 10, 2013 at 12:16 PM

When they’re down to one person they’ll invent a new way to masturbate.

CrustyB on April 10, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Heh. From what my Japanese friends tell me, it’s not really all that bad in Japan. Plenty of guys with dates, and couples getting hitched. What you see here is the small, but noisy subset of the population, primarily in male-dominated Tokyo. Basically, these guys have made being “beta” a lifestyle choice. They have utterly given up trying to find a girl as there aren’t enough to go around.

Ironically, go outside Tokyo, even to the suburbs, and there are women aplenty that can’t find good men! Maybe these guys should take road trips more often?

As far as the population drop, that is a well known problem, stemming from the culture. Simply put, it is considered selfish to have more than two kids, as you are seen as being a drag on community resources and as less able to care for your parents in their old age. Combine that with the late 20th and 21st century phenomena of women going to work and many families only have ONE child. Over all of that is a culture that values conformity over individuality, and you have a recipe for the population crash we are seeing play out in Japan today.

Ironically, it could so easily be prevented by changing just one thing. The perception that having more than two kids is selfish. Educate the people that having LESS than two or three kids is selfish (as you are then contributing to the extinction of the Japanese people for your own lifestyle convenience.) and you would turn a population crash into a population bomb.

wearyman on April 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Did China invade Japan and steal all their women?!

Shy Guy on April 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Japanese women don’t want marriage and children. They wanna shop and have fun!

lilacs on April 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

That’s not how my girlfriend hugs me!

I guess you have to find some other way to pretend you’re actually a desirable human being in the summer. Alternatively, you’ll be able to tell all the lonely guys because they’re all wearing long wool coats.

bigmacdaddy on April 10, 2013 at 12:01 PM

I agree that it’s past time for an intervention. The question now is, who gets the islands? Maybe Disney can buy them and turn them into a samurai theme park?

GWB on April 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Did China invade Japan and steal all their women?!

Shy Guy on April 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Japan still has women. They just prefer to vomit on each other rather than do it with men.

The Rogue Tomato on April 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM

My dog has a thunder coat for anxiety. It doesn’t really work…

Fallon on April 10, 2013 at 1:01 PM

wearyman on April 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM
Gotta love the pathetic-ness of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
.
Here that AP?
Get out of New York and you might get some.

LincolntheHun on April 10, 2013 at 1:08 PM

How come these things aren’t available on Amazon yet?

I want one.

I… need one.

The psychological support dog just ain’t doing it for me any more.

Lickmuffin on April 10, 2013 at 1:18 PM

I know a young, petite Japanese woman who actually has that kind of sweet girlish geisha voice, and she still bows habitually, and she’s as light as a feather on the dance floor, which is always a relief after some of the, er, less maneuverable gals I occasionally have to muscle around.

I kissed her hand gratefully the other day after a waltz. Now I wonder if I’m obliged to marry her before my ship leaves Yokohama or she’ll have to kill herself.

Seth Halpern on April 10, 2013 at 1:21 PM

Does it come in blonde? That guys girlfriend coat was ugly and fat.

2Tru2Tru on April 10, 2013 at 1:29 PM

Or vice versa.

Seth Halpern on April 10, 2013 at 1:29 PM

2150 might be a conservative estimate, but all that matters is: Will they have perfected Gundam technology by then?

If so, we might be able to get out of our Chinese debt.

Good Solid B-Plus on April 10, 2013 at 2:07 PM

Ohhh! Maybe it’s just the Bourbon talking, but I getting ideas on how to adjust this to a James Bond improbable killing machine.
.
Just up the motors a bit for the hug of death.
Or
at a certain tension knives pop inward to lance the victim.
or
wire the entire coat up so that it does the robot while play STYX’s “Mr Roboto” until the victim is pummeled to death by an angry mob.
.
To the man cave!

LincolntheHun on April 10, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Why don’t they invent something useful like a cure for the common cold? All that talent and for useless gadgets.

kim roy on April 10, 2013 at 2:11 PM

In reality just a way to self-identify so that women can eliminate them from the gene pool.

STL_Vet on April 10, 2013 at 2:15 PM

The psychological support dog just ain’t doing it for me any more.

Lickmuffin on April 10, 2013 at 1:18 PM

If it came with Ashley Judd, would it be any better?

GWB on April 10, 2013 at 2:19 PM

It sounds as if the young men aren’t used to having to woo females, and the females don’t want to take after their mothers.

Seth Halpern on April 10, 2013 at 2:37 PM

If it came with Ashley Judd, would it be any better?

I’d be Ashley Judd’s psychological support dog any time.

Any.

Time.

Lickmuffin on April 10, 2013 at 2:55 PM

Too weird. Just keep working on the sex robots Japan.

El_Terrible on April 10, 2013 at 2:57 PM

Evidently, AP has been so “wrapped up” in his new coat from Tokyo, that he hasn’t wanted to face the investigation into robot surgery deaths. Normally he’s all over robot stuff.

GWB on April 10, 2013 at 3:29 PM

I want to believe the broken English translation is accurate.

DTTS on April 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

As best I can tell, yeah, it’s pretty accurate.

Will they have perfected Gundam technology by then?

If so, we might be able to get out of our Chinese debt.

Good Solid B-Plus on April 10, 2013 at 2:07 PM

I’m hoping for tomorrow-ish. So I can turn into a brooding anti-war loner who pilots the most powerful weapon ever devised. Straight to North Korea..

PXCharon on April 10, 2013 at 3:51 PM

Despite the lols from all these comments, mostly we only hear about the weird stuff because nobody wants to read how normal Japanese culture really is (in most respects).

However, there is a big disconnect between the old ways and current norms. The rise of the “Hikikomori” is more or less the current plight of the youth. They don’t see any benefit in going to school and wasting all of their energy in advancing their careers. They only see the grown ups who have no joy in their lives working 14 hour days. So many of the youth spend their time doing nothing but reading manga and playing video games.

I have a friend who lives in Tokyo, and she’s completely anti-social. She’s incredibly brilliant, multi-talented, etc. But her whole attitude is ‘what’s the point?’. I can only hope that the malaise will pass one day.

Some interesting articles on Japan from Cracked.com (The 2nd one is definitely NSFW. If you’re sensitive to crude/vulgar language and humor, do not click! The 5 things about living in Japan isn’t too offensive):

http://www.cracked.com/article_20118_5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-living-in-japan.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19098_6-wtf-japanese-trends-you-can-blame-white-guys_p1.html

Symshady on April 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM

…Combine that with the late 20th and 21st century phenomena of women going to work and many families only have ONE child. Over all of that is a culture that values conformity over individuality, and you have a recipe for the population crash we are seeing play out in Japan today….

wearyman on April 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Meanwhile, the muzzies are multiplyin’ like rabbits…

SailorMark on April 10, 2013 at 4:20 PM

After the video ends there are other videos. Has anyone else watched the girl doing the splits?

danielreyes on April 10, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Symshady on April 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM

No argument from me. Really, I think this is their version of the hippie generation. Only time will tell what it does to the country as a whole, but it’s pretty obvious the values of the older generations are not being well received.

PXCharon on April 10, 2013 at 4:31 PM

So there is a premise for the plot lines in the early Big Bang Theory episodes.

tru2tx on April 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM

The hugging machine Leonard built as a kid, or Howard’s robotic arm?

malclave on April 10, 2013 at 4:39 PM

When they’re down to one person they’ll invent a new way to masturbate.

CrustyB on April 10, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Wouldn’t the regular way still work then?

keep the change on April 10, 2013 at 5:46 PM

I’d be Ashley Judd’s psychological support dog any time.

Any.

Time.

Lickmuffin on April 10, 2013 at 2:55 PM

Geez, dude. Have a little pride.

Of course, she does have plenty of $$bucks$$………

Solaratov on April 10, 2013 at 7:49 PM

This is what happens when you outlaw the samurai.

Nutstuyu on April 10, 2013 at 8:03 PM

I’m hoping for tomorrow-ish. So I can turn into a brooding anti-war loner who pilots the most powerful weapon ever devised. Straight to North Korea..

Was Kou Uraki the only actual member of the military that ever became an ace Gundam pilot?

JamesS on April 10, 2013 at 8:14 PM

The problem, as I see it, is that Japan was shamed out of it’s traditional means of match making before it’s people could adapt. So now many of their young adults simply don’t know how, and so the introverts are not reproducing.

Count to 10 on April 10, 2013 at 8:42 PM

It’s been over 20 years since I lived in Japan, but I’m pretty sure this is basically just a science project by some mildly nerdy guys. It’s no more representative of the whole country than the characters of The Big Bang Theory are representative of all America. There are cool alpha male types in Japan, too.

acasilaco on April 10, 2013 at 9:19 PM

The problem, as I see it, is that Japan was shamed out of it’s traditional means of match making before it’s people could adapt. So now many of their young adults simply don’t know how, and so the introverts are not reproducing.

Count to 10 on April 10, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Not entirely, but a good deal of it. They basically went straight from a ham-handed, top-down approach to totally uncontrolled and their culture wasn’t ready for the shift.

MelonCollie on April 10, 2013 at 9:30 PM

Did China invade Japan and steal all their women?!

Shy Guy on April 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

There are plenty of women there—-and quite desirable. Apparently too much soy, salt peter or whatever has made Mr. Morimoto no like the real horizontal hokei poki.

arnold ziffel on April 10, 2013 at 9:38 PM

Over/under on when Japan is completely depopulated: 2150.

Too far out. 2075.

The concept screams “lonely” but since I’m in that same category of beta…

nobar on April 10, 2013 at 10:41 PM

And to think they were Samurai once.

Walter Sobchak on April 10, 2013 at 10:59 PM

I don’t see the problem here. That’s quite an interesting piece of electronics and machinery. I really like the logo for riajyuu (the good life).

These guys are otaku’s — the kinds of people who go to comic book conventions. That doesn’t mean they don’t have girlfriends — it just means that they have an obsession. In this case, an engineering obsession — geekiness — I can handle that.

It could be worse — they could be nettojyuus like us — people who get their enjoyment from the Internet.

Heh.

unclesmrgol on April 10, 2013 at 11:36 PM

This isn’t about Japan or China – or anything like that.

It’s about men.

What do men like?

Now – what are they missing that society has said should be withheld from them and that’s perfectly okay?

williamg on April 11, 2013 at 12:13 AM

Was Kou Uraki the only actual member of the military that ever became an ace Gundam pilot?

JamesS on April 10, 2013 at 8:14 PM

If we’re restricting the discussion to 0083, I think you’re right. It’s been a damn long time since I’ve seen it though.

I’d say Zechs Marquis counts. The Talgeese was a prototype, sure, maybe not a true Gundam in that particular universe.

For that matter, the kid pilots in Wing were pretty much the colony military in the beginning.

And about half the pilots in Gundam Zero were officially military of one faction or another.

PXCharon on April 11, 2013 at 12:32 AM

Wealth is the world’s best contraceptive.

{^_^}

herself on April 11, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Why is Japan focusing on this and not on Science Ninja technology?

ZK on April 11, 2013 at 9:30 AM