Green Room

So I got this in the mail today …

posted at 7:07 pm on April 2, 2013 by

… apparently because tomorrow is my 50th birthday, which thanks to Facebook is hardly a secret.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, I popped this open a few minutes ago:

ed-aarp-3a

I’m not going to be taking advantage of this offer, thankyewverahmuch.  For one thing, I don’t particularly care for AARP’s politics, but for another, I don’t plan on retiring soon … if at all.

It’s one thing to know you’re turning 50. It’s another thing entirely to see your Official Old Fart Card arrive in the mail.  I’ll be at the bar drinking heavily for the rest of this evening if anyone needs me.

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Comment pages: 1 2

JetBoy on April 3, 2013 at 7:54 AM

Thanks for starting my day off with a good laugh :)

(p.s I recommend staying away from the prune juice. Your day getting drunk at the bar will be shortened significantly!)

wolverinefan on April 3, 2013 at 9:01 AM

Oh … and Happy 50th!

wolverinefan on April 3, 2013 at 9:02 AM

Happy Birthday Ed!

workingclass artist on April 3, 2013 at 9:19 AM

If you think that is bad,…… My husband is 11 years older than I. AARP assumed we were the same age! I started receiving grandparent information at 39, while our youngest was only 2!

A blessed birthday to you, Ed!

herm2416 on April 3, 2013 at 9:26 AM

AARP sent me one of those cards when I was 9 for some reason. The kids’ discount was better than the seniors’ discount at the movies at that time, so I chucked it.

EricW on April 3, 2013 at 9:35 AM

Hey… why is AARP ripping off the Hot Air log?

;-)

ITguy on April 3, 2013 at 9:37 AM

Hey… why is AARP ripping off the Hot Air logo?

;-)

ITguy on April 3, 2013 at 9:38 AM

When they sent my first notice, I shredded it and mailed the bits back to them in their own “postage paid” envelope…with a little note explaining that left wing political hack mailings would all be treated in the same manner. After the 3rd such return…well I’ve not received a piece of junk mail from them since.

TexasEngineer on April 3, 2013 at 9:43 AM

The joke in the South is if the blinker is on, it happened at the dealership.

Cindy Munford on April 3, 2013 at 8:53 AM

lol I kinda figured the blinker was on because the driver is traveling around the country clockwise just a little.

JetBoy on April 3, 2013 at 9:45 AM

Keep reminding yourself it was this or death.

Besides, you look somewhere between 30 and 40, i.e., simple grown ass man territory, not 40 + genes, i.e., please God let me still got it territory — certainly not old man land after that — so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Just be sure to flex every now and then and ask your wife if she wants “tickets to the gun show.” Chicks dig that.

Axe on April 3, 2013 at 9:46 AM

So is this in lieu of a Happy Birthday, Ed thread? Happy Birthday and many more blessed years in your future.

Cindy Munford on April 3, 2013 at 10:00 AM

Just be sure to flex every now and then and ask your wife if she wants “tickets to the gun show.” Chicks dig that.

Axe on April 3, 2013 at 9:46 AM

Yep, ladies always enjoy a good laugh.

Cindy Munford on April 3, 2013 at 10:01 AM

I got one the day after my 50th birthday, too, but I wasn’t a grandmother twice over like you are at 50, Ed…this clearly makes you much older than I am. Was. Whatever. And unlike you I’d retire tomorrow if I could. You’re lucky to be doing something both important and fun!

Happy birthday and many more blessings to you and the family!

Bob's Kid on April 3, 2013 at 10:13 AM

This Saturday, April 6, I will be celebrating my 5th year of ignoring mail from the AARP. Like you, Ed, it is partly due to their politics. But the bigger reason is, I refuse to believe I’m that old. I also avoid mirrors as much as possible.

Happy Birthday, Ed!

BRunner on April 3, 2013 at 10:20 AM

Go eff yourself, Troll!
*Rushes to Ed’s defense!*

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 8:29 AM

[Comment deleted, user banned — Ed]

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

How very classy you are, truly a valuable addition to our conversations.

Cindy Munford on April 3, 2013 at 10:37 AM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Have you ever posted something that wasn’t a bile filled idiotic rant?

You remind me of the hateful monkey at the zoo that flings poo at everything. Then licks its fingers.

cozmo on April 3, 2013 at 10:39 AM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Classy.

JetBoy on April 3, 2013 at 10:39 AM

Welcome to the Half Century club, Ed.

Bobbertsan on April 3, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Well it’s good to be a young man, and to live the way you please.
Yes, a young man is the king of every kingdom that he sees.
There’s an old and feeble man not far behind,
And he surely will catch up with him, somewhere along the line.

–Somewhere Along The Line by Billy Joel

backwoods conservative on April 3, 2013 at 10:57 AM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Wow. Definitely bannable conduct where I moderate.

GWB on April 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Happy Birthday, Ed! Just wait for the next surprise, it’s a Medicare Card followed by an invoice for $315 for Part B for your first three months. Something to really look forward to. By the way, I don’t care for AARP’s politics either but they do offer a dynamite Motorists Roadside Insurance plan for around $45/YR.

Boats48 on April 3, 2013 at 11:26 AM

50.

Kids these days.

NeighborhoodCatLady on April 3, 2013 at 11:46 AM

So where do I send this bottle of blue label?

mythicknight on April 3, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Only 50!

He’s such a young man for only 50! Retirement? We think not!

Ed – remember “Fifty is Nifty”. Trust me, the best is yet to come.

H a p p y B i r t h d a y!

CiLH1 on April 3, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Being over 50, I was asked if I was a member of the AARP. I said yes:
Armed American; Really Pissed.

kurtzz3 on April 3, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Many, many happy returns, Ed!

Christien on April 3, 2013 at 12:56 PM

So where do I send this bottle of blue label?

mythicknight on April 3, 2013 at 11:57 AM

666 Old Bat Lane
Geezerville, Fl. 33064
Thanks!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ED!!

katy the mean old lady on April 3, 2013 at 1:10 PM

When they send you the “AARP 2013 Pelosi Bikini Calendar”, I highly recommend you do not open it, even out of curiosity.

SickofLibs on April 3, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Happy Half Century there, kid. Enjoy using that temp coaster AARP sent ya.

apostic on April 3, 2013 at 1:21 PM

GWB on April 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM

If I responded to that the way I’d like to, I’D get banned!
Ignore him.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 1:25 PM

I feel so unwanted and left out. I’m 61 and have never received an AARP piece of junk mail. Don’t understand it. The IRS has had no trouble locating me.

Happy Birthday Ed!

NOMOBO on April 3, 2013 at 1:33 PM

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 1:25 PM

But you wouldn’t respond like that, except to me.

You are a decent person (most of the time). woodyfish, not even close to being decent, or a person.

cozmo on April 3, 2013 at 2:10 PM

By the way, I don’t care for AARP’s politics either but they do offer a dynamite Motorists Roadside Insurance plan for around $45/YR.

Boats48 on April 3, 2013 at 11:26 AM

You can get the same deal…or a better deal…from almost ANY insurance company: no AARP affiliation required.

The same is true of other AARP “benefits.”

The ONLY people who truly benefit from AARP are the perpetrators who own and market the name. Everyone else is a dupe or a mark.

landlines on April 3, 2013 at 2:56 PM

cozmo on April 3, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Most of the time?
I’m only a b8tch to those who deserve it.
W/you my ‘ire’ is always in jest.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 2:56 PM

By the way, I don’t care for AARP’s politics either but they do offer a dynamite Motorists Roadside Insurance plan for around $45/YR.

Boats48 on April 3, 2013 at 11:26 AM

PS:

Out of curiosity, I just looked up my last bill from State Farm, and Emergency Roadside Assistance costs me $5.20 per year ($2.60 every 6 months in KS)!!!

So AARP affiliation costs you about $39.80 EXTRA.

…and I got my AARP notice (also returned shredded in their envelope, along with a note that we do NOT support left-wing political causes) over 20 years ago.

landlines on April 3, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I write REFUSED / R.T.S. with black magic marker on all their correspondence and put it back in the mailbox.

I don’t know if it gets back to them, but it makes me feel better.

Akzed on April 3, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Happy Birthday Ed! 50 is the new 30 :-)

RedInMD on April 3, 2013 at 4:21 PM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 4:20 PM

You must be new here. I’m a she. You’re still a troll.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 4:40 PM

woodNfish on April 3, 2013 at 4:20 PM

Go upstairs and tell your mother she wants you.

Troll.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 4:40 PM

ALT! Probably been two years since i saw ya at Misha’s. Howzit Goin? Still killin’ Zombies with a toothpick, and beating trolls up on Saturday Nights for fun?

Good seeing yer still pumping wind, Kid!

WilGolden on April 3, 2013 at 5:41 PM

Sorry for not catching up to the spill on Aisle Woodnfish, but we won’t be hearing back from him again.

Ed Morrissey on April 3, 2013 at 6:01 PM

I returned my mail from them with “Don’t send anymore of you communist crap” written on the application. I haven’t heard from them since.

allstonian on April 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM

Happy Birthday Ed! Thanks for all you do here at Hotair; appreciated the Easter Greeting thread too.

bluefox on April 3, 2013 at 7:01 PM

You must be new here. I’m a she. You’re still a troll.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 4:40 PM

woodfish ain’t new, been spouting that stuff for quite a while.

That 4:20 one must have been a doosey.

cozmo on April 3, 2013 at 8:17 PM

Nah. It was just whining about how rude I was to it.

annoyinglittletwerp on April 3, 2013 at 8:33 PM

Comment pages: 1 2