Green Room

New Hollywood cause: Raising awareness about clean water by refusing to go to the bathroom

posted at 1:26 pm on February 13, 2013 by

Worth promoting, if only because the buzz might convince celebrities to stop making excruciating, unwatchable, self-serious PSAs whenever they want to promote a political issue. Like him or not, at least Damon put some effort into this one.

His fracking movie was a neutron bomb, by the way.

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Confirmed: Matt Damon is FOS.

nobar on February 13, 2013 at 1:31 PM

The world is full of truly stupid people. The trend is not in a positive direction. The collective Dunning-Kruger effect is pervasive. People believe that their access to information is intelligence.

Frankly I am ready for the world to be purified with fire and for the New Heavens and Earth.

tom daschle concerned on February 13, 2013 at 1:37 PM

I’ve always assumed that Damon wrote most of Good Will Hunting because he’s supposedly the smart ne. I’m changing my mind.

terryannonline on February 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM

I’ll drink plenty of water, er beer, March 22. And flush twice each time I go.

rbj on February 13, 2013 at 1:46 PM

Go away, all of you. Just go away.

rrpjr on February 13, 2013 at 1:53 PM

Reminds me of Dennis Pragers’ theory of why celebs do these causes. He said celebs back in the day didn’t need causes because they’re work was fulfilling and meaningful. They actually made movies with moral lessons. Now movies are pure fluff so they need humanitarian causes to give their empty and superficial lives meaning.

terryannonline on February 13, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Whaaaaa?

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Matt Damon!!

BigGator5 on February 13, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I’ve always assumed that Damon wrote most of Good Will Hunting because he’s supposedly the smart ne. I’m changing my mind.

terryannonline on February 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Confirmed… Affleck is the smart one. Argo is probably going to win the Academy Award while Damon’s stupid movie bombed.

Illinidiva on February 13, 2013 at 2:31 PM

I want a free toilet!

Shy Guy on February 13, 2013 at 2:32 PM

In recognition of his efforts, from now on a bowel movement should be referred to as a “damon”. As in, “I pinched a really creamy damon this morning!”

tpitman on February 13, 2013 at 2:46 PM

This dipshit needs an atomic wedgie.

arnold ziffel on February 13, 2013 at 2:58 PM

Anal retentiveness is no longer a neurotic malady. It’s now a political cause!

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 3:16 PM

Oh stop. Don’t tell me you all believe this is true. You know this is a comic bit. It’s funny! Yes, its satire. Stephen Root played one of the reporters, dead giveaway. Those were actors playing reporters. Is this a scene from a new movie? Maybe Damon should stick with comedy.

Little Nell on February 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM

Oh stop. Don’t tell me you all believe this is true. You know this is a comic bit. It’s funny! Yes, its satire. Stephen Root played one of the reporters, dead giveaway. Those were actors playing reporters. Is this a scene from a new movie? Maybe Damon should stick with comedy.

Little Nell on February 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM

Heh. It should be satire. But it ain’t. http://www.water.org is a real site.

AJsDaddie on February 13, 2013 at 3:35 PM

Actors are famous for waste retention. There empty make believe shells are purpose built for such a task.

BL@KBIRD on February 13, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Heh. It should be satire. But it ain’t. http://www.water.org is a real site.

AJsDaddie on February 13, 2013 at 3:35 PM

So isn’t this site: http://www.dhmo.org/

Some of the things on water.org look a little hard to believe. For instance. The raising of money pictures and amounts. The stereotypical cartoon of black woman with bowls on their heads. They don’t strike me as very PC.

Dr. Frank Enstine on February 13, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I think this might be a pseudo-satire. It is a satire on a press conference from a silly Hollyweird denizen, but I think it’s intended to just draw attention to the cause. You go there, wondering if the crap-in is real, and you find out about his new pet project.

(BTW, I loved the ‘open mic’ bit, “Reporters are dikks.”)

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 3:55 PM

I think this might be a pseudo-satire. It is a satire on a press conference from a silly Hollyweird denizen, but I think it’s intended to just draw attention to the cause. You go there, wondering if the crap-in is real, and you find out about his new pet project.

(BTW, I loved the ‘open mic’ bit, “Reporters are dikks.”)

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 3:55 PM

Water.org is Damon’s new cause, and the headlines there are largely accurate. Water is becoming less available, even in the American Midwest though our shortages aren’t severe. In other places in the world, the available water is tainted with cholera and God knows what else.

If Damon was trying some kind of satire, he probably lost some potential donors with it.

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:00 PM

I`m gonna go flush my toilet 50 times in his honor. :)

ThePrez on February 13, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Being unable or unwilling to use the bathroom can cause all kinds of physical problems. I wonder if Obamacare will cover Damon’s medical expenses.

What a dingbat*, to even say such a thing as he did!

(*original version edited for content)

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:13 PM

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 3:55 PM

I think you are right.

Dr. Frank Enstine on February 13, 2013 at 4:17 PM

Really, AP? The fact that it’s satire went completely over your head? That’s just sad.

SnarkVader on February 13, 2013 at 4:19 PM

I’ve always assumed that Damon wrote most of Good Will Hunting because he’s supposedly the smart ne. I’m changing my mind.

terryannonline on February 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM

I don’t know but, I loved him in “Team America”. Although his performance seemed a little wooden. I don’t recall seeing other movies he has been in. I’m sure I saw them but,I just don’t remember them.

Dr. Frank Enstine on February 13, 2013 at 4:19 PM

I hear the Carnival Triumph has a cabin for him.

RDH on February 13, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Really, AP? The fact that it’s satire went completely over your head? That’s just sad.

SnarkVader on February 13, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Did you go to Damon’s site, water.org? The headlines there are accurate, and I can’t dispute them.

If Damon made satire in any way about the matter, it’s the height of cruelty–the thing the Left always accuses of Conservatives like me.

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Did you go to Damon’s site, water.org? The headlines there are accurate, and I can’t dispute them.

If Damon made satire in any way about the matter, it’s the height of cruelty–the thing the Left always accuses of Conservatives like me.

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:26 PM

He was making fun of celebrities and the media. Not of the water shortage. He’s showing that it takes ridiculous lengths to bring attention to crises like the worldwide water shortage.

SnarkVader on February 13, 2013 at 4:46 PM

(*original version edited for content)

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:13 PM

Did your original involve fecal matter and the cranium?

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 4:51 PM

He was making fun of celebrities and the media. Not of the water shortage. He’s showing that it takes ridiculous lengths to bring attention to crises like the worldwide water shortage.

SnarkVader on February 13, 2013 at 4:46 PM

While at the same time at a podium with the official logo of water.org. Did you even go to his site?

Maybe you have an ‘in’ with Matt Damon to know his head? Are you friends–family, even? Damon could explain that himself instead of you being a mouthpiece. The rest of us ‘non-intellectuals’ have to go by what we see, then do more research. What I have found so far is that Damon is a typical and predictable Hollywood celeb.

In my estimation, any ‘highlights’ he sought for his cause through ‘satire’ falls flat.

You see, when Hollywoodies start or get involved with some cause, they go by the Do Something (TM) idea. “Send money!” is all they cry and appeal. But where does that money go, and what is done with it?

Does Damon have a plan–a solid move to make? Instead of satire, he would have scored more points by saying, “This is my goal. We can’t save everyone right away, but there is this village that needs water. I–THEY–need donations so I can send a team there to help drill a well so these people can have clean water to drink. We need money to pay for their passports, visas, and many other things to make this happen. The volunteers are in place, and her are their names. Would you please help?”

Much better than satire, if Damon is serious. Though a severe cynic, I believe he is. He’s going about the totally wrong way, in my estimation.

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Did your original involve fecal matter and the cranium?

GWB on February 13, 2013 at 4:51 PM

I forget the number of ways to drop an F-bomb, but I originally included them all. And a whole lot of other things to never say in the presence of Mom or any other lady. :)

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 5:02 PM

What liberals never grasp is that problems aren’t inherently political. Liberals make them political and, thus, become a new problem.

Liam on February 13, 2013 at 5:25 PM

Matt Damon could always dig a hole in the ground, cover it with a bench that has a large hole in it, then build a shelter around it. Don’t forget the quarter moon ventilation holes.

JohnFLob on February 14, 2013 at 12:10 PM