Green Room

Video: The next president of the United States?

posted at 3:21 pm on February 1, 2013 by

If you’ve been looking for the next Alvin Greene or Basil Marceaux, you’ve found him.

Unless Hillary decides to run, this guy’s about average on the Democrats’ 2016 depth chart. Click the image to watch.

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Unless Hillary decides to run, this guy’s about average on the Democrats’ 2016 depth chart. Click the image to watch.

This guy would beat Hillary in the primary.

In the new tribal America, skin color trumps all.

Rebar on February 1, 2013 at 3:25 PM

And he is worse than Hillary, because?

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:26 PM

Fantastic.

BigGator5 on February 1, 2013 at 3:29 PM

The words on the screen capture don’t even make sense together? WTH?

GWB on February 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Lord have Mercer.

Hey, that might work as a campaign slogan.

Doughboy on February 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

The words on the screen capture don’t even make sense together? WTH?

GWB on February 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

It might be missing punctuation: “A Special Election! New, Neutral, Developed Intelligence…Second US Government!” I guess Mercer can’t afford a style editor.

ddrintn on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

The words on the screen capture don’t even make sense together? WTH?

GWB on February 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Thank goodness someone else had the same thought as me. I read the stupid graphic 3 or 4 times before I gave up and came down to the comments.

freedomfirst on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

His bio reads like it was written by a 12 year-old. Garbled grammar, spelling, and syntax included. He could be Alvin Green II.

I entered college at Texas Southern university in 1975 and graduated from their School of Business in 1983.
In 1983, I was remarried and seperated a year later to my second wife. I have two sons one son by each wife.
I am presently seperated from my second wife.

This following part stands out. Actually, he put it in bold:

I was chosen to be developed into a U.S. Army executive a new academic development by the U.S. Army FBI Intelligence Program.

I have been developed into the U.S. Army’s Executive. I bring you my accomplishments.

Sounds like, in the midst of that horrible syntax, that he is a robot developed by the military.

At any rate, he brings us his accomplishments.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Thanks for the summary. Sounds like he’s a dolt and was promoted by affirmative action. His language patterns make me wonder if he’s from Burkina Faso.

freedomfirst on February 1, 2013 at 3:50 PM

You must visit his page and go to the Agenda section.

If anyone can understand a single sentence in there I salute you.

But this one got my laughter:

1. STOP KILLING PREVENTION PROGRAM.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:50 PM

Developed Intelligence

steebo77 on February 1, 2013 at 3:52 PM

He’s playing for the moron vote. He might actually get something out of the run.

nobar on February 1, 2013 at 3:54 PM

Don’t scare me like this Allah. My blood pressure can’t take it any more.

Bob's Kid on February 1, 2013 at 3:54 PM

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Another product of Affirmative Action.

davidk on February 1, 2013 at 3:55 PM

2. STOP CRIME PREVENTION PROGRAM.

That is what sets Mr Mercer apart. Most politicians today want to begin some kind of crime prevention program. Mercer wants to stop one.

And he doesn’t quit there. Those disease prevention programs? They got to go too.

3. STOP DISEASE AND SICKNESS PREVENTION PROGRAM.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:56 PM

The U.S. Congress’s bid appointed him Conservator President of the United States with power of attorney.

So Obama has been adjudicated mentally ill. Better strip him of his 12 gauge.

blammm on February 1, 2013 at 3:56 PM

Typical government affirmative action child.
I’ve been through executive development in the government and you can tell who competed to be there and who was sent there. Too many civil servants have drifted up through the ranks through tenure (not merit). This guy sounds like one of them.
I hate working with people who started off as GS-1 30 or 40 years ago and have been rewarded for breathing.

freedomfirst on February 1, 2013 at 3:57 PM

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Another product of @ffirmative Action.

davidk on February 1, 2013 at 3:57 PM

I love the idea of having the government run by a computer program that some random dude developed. Does the program have a way of dealing with deficits? Maybe it crashes (along with the government) if the budget isn’t balance? Seems like we could get something done if that was the case.

ChasingVictory27 on February 1, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Another product of @ffirmative Action.

davidk on February 1, 2013 at 3:57 PM

I think you just gave me a clue why my last 3 attempts at commenting never made it to post.

freedomfirst on February 1, 2013 at 3:59 PM

I am campaigning “POLICE THAT DOES EVERYTHING” WITH POLICE EDUCATION HOTWIRE HOOKUP.

My learnings, doings and examples of Perfection are the uses of :

1. the 5 W’s and an H,

2. the 6 senses,

3. the law,

4. definition of a noun and

5. Simplicity.

I love this guy. But I bet that politics is his second choice. I bet his first choice was to get his own shrimpin’ boat.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 4:00 PM

His website has a link where you can invite him to speak.

So many possibilities, so little time.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM

From his website:

Awards Received :
1.I received a British Cross From Great Britain in the U.S. Army Military Intelligence Academy 136th Signal Drug Enforcement Administration in 1992.
Year
2. I received a Nobel Peace Award from the U.S. Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis Academy in 1993.
Year
3. I received a U.S.Navy- Road Scholar award from the U.S. Navy in the U.S. Naval Intelligence Academy in 1995.
Year
4. I received a Scholar of the World for World Management From Rice University in the U.S. Army Military Intellgence Academy Camp Bullis in 1996.

5. I received some Congressional Medals of Honor Four to Zillions-U.S. Army Military Intelligence Academy for solving problems/circumstances in 1993- no termination.

He’s a “Road Scholar” and a “Nobel Peace Award” recipient! OMG!

texgal on February 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Oh, it gets better: Fiona is a big supporter.

ReaganWasRight on February 1, 2013 at 4:12 PM

I think you just gave me a clue why my last 3 attempts at commenting never made it to post.

freedomfirst on February 1, 2013 at 3:59 PM

I tried three times, too. I never would have thought “aff irma tive” is a forbidden word?

davidk on February 1, 2013 at 4:20 PM

There are several congressional districts where he could get elected for life.

trigon on February 1, 2013 at 4:22 PM

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 3:56 PM

Maybe he used Western Union

davidk on February 1, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Reason for Seeking Public Office: My reason for seeking public office is I was appointed President of the United States and President of the United Nations in The United States Army Militay Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio, Texas at The University of Texas at Austin in the ROTC School of Intelligence to solve the United States Government Problems with intelligence by the U.S. Federal Congress and International Federal Bureau of Investigations.

I have 14 years of appointed Public Office Experience acting as the primary President of The United States of America and the President of The United Nations.

I am seeking Public Office in 2012 because I have an Electronic Surveillance Hotwire Hookup Presidential Bid evidence that guarantees me I will be elected President of the United States of America in 2012 in Congressional Hearing or court.

I think he left out that he’s currently living with squirrels juggling chainsaws in his head.

tru2tx on February 1, 2013 at 4:44 PM

OMG! I think we just found Sheila Jackson Lee soul mate!

Hey, is he supposed to be talking about that patented whiz bang thingy?

stvnscott on February 1, 2013 at 5:18 PM

He’s running on the word salad platform.

theperfecteconomist on February 1, 2013 at 5:33 PM

He’ll save the government billions on punctuation.

Think of all that extra ink and work having to add commas and periods? Not under President Mercer.

I guess…

SteveMG on February 1, 2013 at 5:36 PM

Laugh out loud funny, gentle posters. Best line: squirrels juggling chainsaws in his head. Perhaps he will nominate for VP that lovely representative, from where is it, Georgia, who think Guam is going to tip over. SJL for SecDef!

IdrilofGondolin on February 1, 2013 at 5:57 PM

He’s been endorsed by Janet Reno. Oh, and also by the U.S. Congress and the United Nations. The guy’s a juggernaut.

calabrese on February 1, 2013 at 5:58 PM

Lee Mercer for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of USA?

JimLennon on February 1, 2013 at 6:21 PM

The words on the screen capture don’t even make sense together? WTH?

GWB on February 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM

The voice-over didn’t help either.

Neither did three re-watches.

JetBoy on February 1, 2013 at 6:25 PM

The first EBONICS President.

I’d say he’d have a fair shot against any crackers running on the Marxist Democrat side.

Mercertopia 2016!!

PappyD61 on February 1, 2013 at 6:48 PM

The voice-over didn’t help either.

Neither did three re-watches.

JetBoy on February 1, 2013 at 6:25 PM

I played the video backward and it made more sense. It kept repeating “I buried Paul.”

SagebrushPuppet on February 1, 2013 at 7:28 PM

BTW, if it’ll keep Hillary out of the White House, he’s got my vote!

SagebrushPuppet on February 1, 2013 at 7:29 PM

His website has a link where you can invite him to speak.

So many possibilities, so little time.

keep the change on February 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Hahahahahahahaha

Dopenstrange on February 1, 2013 at 8:03 PM

How about this guy, who’s been ‘running’ since at least 2000?

Chickyraptor on February 1, 2013 at 8:28 PM

There’s one Texan who should not carry.

FOWG1 on February 1, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Don’t joke about it, AP – if he runs and Biden doesn’t, he is liable to be the next ‘Rat nominee. After all, who really knew who Teh SCOAMT was in 2005, or S(l)ick Willie in 1989, or the Peanut Farmer in 1973, or FDR in 1929?

Steve Eggleston on February 1, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Or who JFK was in 1957.

Steve Eggleston on February 1, 2013 at 9:38 PM

This can’t be real…can it?

Hold me *I’m scared*

Seriously this has to be a joke someone is pushing.

sharrukin on February 2, 2013 at 1:43 AM

Looks like this guy is better that the clown that sits in the oval orifice

roflmmfao

donabernathy on February 2, 2013 at 8:57 AM

He’s playing for the moron vote. He might actually get something out of the run.

nobar on February 1, 2013 at 3:54 PM

…but…butt he doesn’t look like Joe Biden!

KOOLAID2 on February 2, 2013 at 11:31 AM

I find this most interesting in that who is backing this and why? The Claims could all be legit but are very well crafted to mislead the reader. It looks to me to be an a pre-polling of the public to see what they will except or reject for the real campaign starts. In the 2012 election Obama did not win the election The republicans lost the election. In campaigning this is a very important distinction. The Democrats played every possible distinction that would have given them an ever so slight (.001%) advantage. And the Republicans let them get away with it. Over all this gave the 5-10% advantage that Obama needed to win.

Examples:

Received” Road Scholar” in 1995. To be confused with “Rhodes Scholar”. “Road Scholar” is a non-profit group established in 1975 by Elderhostel inc. to give life long educational travel experiences.

Received “Nobel Peace Award” in 1993. This is an award given out to school students by the US Army MI school in TX. Not the The award given out in Sweden.

No intention to bore you with any more but these claims are carefully crafted to poll the public to see how far they can push the publics credibility.

Be careful my friends. Read the road signs and connect the dots. This is politics on a grand scale. Things are never what the seem to be.

jpcpt03 on February 2, 2013 at 1:36 PM

I find this most interesting in that who is backing this and why? The Claims could all be legit but are very well crafted to mislead the reader.
jpcpt03 on February 2, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Nah, this guy’s a genuine kook; he’s been running since 2000.

As far as the claims being legit, well…how about this one:

Degree
I have earned a bachelor’s degree to a doctor’s degree in every subject in every college in the world.

That seems a tad bit impossible, but I’m sure his tenure at Harvard Law was just as spectacular as Obama’s. :D

Good Solid B-Plus on February 2, 2013 at 2:14 PM

I should probably not watch that video given all the comments…reality is already making me uncomfortably racist.

MelonCollie on February 2, 2013 at 5:11 PM

I listened to the commercial. I don’t know what it said.

JellyToast on February 2, 2013 at 6:17 PM

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