Green Room

“Boys will ask you every day until you say yes”

posted at 12:14 pm on January 30, 2013 by

Cole Morton comments on the “culture of pornography” and its impact on teenagers in the UK, citing a horrific case in which a 13-year-old girl died trying to convince a boy to delete a video he had made of her performing a sex act on him:

The girls are fast approaching 13, the age that Chevonea Kendall-Bryan was when she leaned out of one of the windows on the fourth floor of a block of flats on this street. A boy she knew was down here on the ground, but this was not Romeo and Juliet. Far from it.

Chevonea had been pressurised into performing a sex act on him, and he had shared a phone clip of her doing so with all his mates. She threatened to jump from the window if he did not delete it. Then she slipped and fell 60 feet to the ground, dying from massive brain injuries. …

“Never before has girlhood been under such a sustained assault – from ads, alcohol marketing, girls’ magazines, sexually explicit TV programmes and the hard pornography that is regularly accessed in so many teenager’s bedrooms,” says the psychologist Steve Biddulph, currently touring the country to promote a book called Raising Girls.

It is a follow-up to his best-seller Raising Boys – and they are under pressure too, being led to believe that girls will look and behave like porn stars. Our children are becoming victims of pornification.

“It is usually girls who are on the receiving end of some pretty degrading stuff,” says Claire Perry MP, who has just been appointed David Cameron’s special adviser on the commercialisation and sexualisation of childhood. “We’ve got young girls being asked to write their names on their boobs and send pictures. Parents would be really shocked to know this is happening in pretty much every school in the country. Our children are growing up in a very sexualised world.”

I’m not suggesting that people demand government intervention or bans on cell phones with cameras, and so on.  But it behooves us to see that cultural degradation has an impact throughout the culture, and that children are not prepared for the consequences.  We need to act within the cultural paradigm to change it, and we need to make sure that we prepare our children and grandchildren for the world that they are entering.

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Children are being robbed of their innocence at an earlier and earlier age. I suspect I’m going to have to have “the talk” with my kids at an earlier age than my parents did with me.

Thanks, society.

Red Cloud on January 30, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Feminism in all it’s glory.

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 12:19 PM

Girls used to get married at 13.

John the Libertarian on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

This is your country.

This is your country without Jesus.

Any questions?

TMink on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

It’s stuff like this that makes me so conflicted about the issue of censorship. Clearly, kids (for the most part) in this country were not swimming in such a moral toilet when TV censorship was active in the ’50s. There were exceptions, but now it’s the rule and the innocent kids are the exceptions.

China censors a LOT MORE than we ever did even back in the ’50s, and as a result, many of the Chinese girls I’ve met in the non-westernized cities of China are shockingly innocent. The 20-yr-olds could easily be mistaken for 12-yr-olds or younger based on their personalities. I find that very preferable, and I wish my kids were shielded when growing up (parental censorship can only go so far).

There has to be an answer without gutting the 1st Amendment, but I don’t know what it is.

The Rogue Tomato on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Feminism in all it’s glory.

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 12:19 PM

It is not feminism in this case. It is massive societal decadence.

Shy Guy on January 30, 2013 at 12:30 PM

It is not feminism in this case. It is massive societal decadence.

Feminism has a LOT to do with it. They are the ones shouting at the top of their lungs that they can go have sex with anyone. It’s their body they’re free to go do whatever the want with it.

Kanyin on January 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Home School. If not then a Catholic/Christian school. If you must go public try to get your kid in a magnet school that has uniforms and push for all schools to monitor constantly all rooms in the school. Including, and most especially, the rest rooms.

Rocks on January 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

What are those things called? Oh, yeah, parents.

Blake on January 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

This generation of teens and pre-teens is going to be pretty screwed up when they get older. That’s just a fact.

The technology of ubiquitous cell phone cameras and social networks is brand new territory for everyone, and they are at an age when people make terrible terrible decisions. And they will suffer for it.

I’m hopeful that over time everyone will get smarter about how to use this stuff and what to avoid. Social norms will change to compensate for the technology and life will move on.

So I think it’s something for parents to be very concerned about, but I’m not worried about “society” in general.

Nessuno on January 30, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Shy Guy on January 30, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Feminism and societal decadence skip hand in hand down the path of destruction.

Feminism has a LOT to do with it. They are the ones shouting at the top of their lungs that they can go have sex with anyone. It’s their body they’re free to go do whatever the want with it.

Kanyin on January 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Add in abortion on demand and we’ve got consequence free living.

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 12:50 PM

such a sickening article to read. culture is to blame and also the parents- who are the parents of these boys? did they even try disciplining them at all, in their whole lives?

some of the comments on that article are amazingly stupid- they actually DON’T see a problem with any of this!! but still there was a great comment:

I have told my 13 year old daughter that if any boy wants to see a picture of her tits, she must insist she gets to show him one of her father’s semi automatic shotgun first.

lol… and then the same person said

We live in Singapore. They have a somewhat less than touchy feely attitude to raising children and thankfully the compensation ‘I know my rights’ mentality has not arrived here yet. Here you can still clip the ear of a troublemaking little shit and expect the backing of the authorities.
You don’t think that might be the reason we have such low crime levels here do you…?

let’s move to singapore you guys XDD

Feminism in all it’s glory.

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 12:19 PM

wow. you clearly don’t know much about feminism- many feminists hate this whole “sexting” thing that pressures girls to be sexual at a young age. only a small branch of feminists actually support things like this. and those people make feminism look bad for the rest of us…

This is your country.

This is your country without Jesus.

Any questions?

TMink on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

this is the answer. if we continue to ignore Jesus because bringing this up is “offensive” in our PC society, we will continue to have a problem. we can try every solution out there except this and it still won’t do much to solve the problem! many people in society dislike the entire concept of morality because they just want to do anything they want with no consequences. as a result, things like this happen!

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 12:53 PM

What are those things called? Oh, yeah, parents.

Blake on January 30, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Yeah, this, but remember that parents can only do so much, especially if there’s a reason why you can’t home-school and your kids are exposed to who-knows-what at public school.

The Rogue Tomato on January 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM

wow you all, do you know anything about feminism or are you relying on your stereotype of what a feminist is? there are different types of feminists and most of us (yes, “us”) don’t like this over-sexualization of young girls and the pressure on them to do sex acts for boys. only a few feminists would actually support this kind of thing, and those feminists are hated by the rest of the feminists because they make us look bad.

can you all try to actually learn about feminism before you bash it???

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I don’t want my children to be home schooled and Ron them of social interaction and growth.

Rusty Allen on January 30, 2013 at 1:00 PM

If we can’t change the whole culture, we can at least build one for ourselves. The top conservative priority should be universal school vouchers. Neither the budget, nor abortion, nor immigration is more important. Support is building for school choice, and guess what, libs? They’ve got them in Sweden so they can’t be that “extreme.”

xuyee on January 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM

You can cite a lot of causes for this. Feminism, abortion on demand, guilt-free sex, the widespread availability of pornography, the culture of sex on television, the homosexual agenda, and on and on and on.

But what it really comes down to is that, several decades ago, our society decided to abandon God and consider ourselves the end-all and be-all of existence. From banishing God from the public square to filling our students with garbage like “Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs,” we are taught that self is the ultimate concern and that all else is relative.

The only solution to our society’s ills is a return to Godly moral principles of living. If we cannot do that at this point, then the only solution — as has unfortunately been the case with all great societies in history — will be for our society to collapse and a new one to replace it.

Shump on January 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM

suggestion to parents: make a home-video of yourself doing something “typically” embarassing (dance in your underwear, pick your nose, eating sloppily) and upload it to YouTube. use this as an example that (pre-)tweenish children can understand about the permanency of doing/having something humiliating recorded and uploaded to the internet. that’s a lesson they’ll probably be able to carry with them into adolescence (moreso than just “the talk”).

Jeddite on January 30, 2013 at 1:07 PM

okay i want to add to my comment… to learn more about feminism, it’s as easy as reading things on wikipedia!! look at this article for an example of what i’m talking about. there is a split in feminist views, with some feminists being very sex-positive and other feminists (i think it’s the majority) disliking porn and prostitution and sexualizing young girls. so making a blanket statement that feminism is sex-positive and supports young girls doing sexual acts shows that you don’t know much about feminism, because you are unaware of the large split in opinions and the two branches of feminism.

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Yesterday on Michael Berry’s or Rush’s radio show he read a promo for a class at the University of Minnesote (I think) that was all about teaching girls how to maximize their organisms. It went on to make sure everyone knew it was open to all females who wanted to attend and age was not a criteria. A few minutes later a girl called from the University of South Carolina saying they were doing the same thing there.

Anybody know who’s pushing this? Sounds kind of coordinated doesn’t it? Is it inappropropriate to say these girls are being “targeted”?

DanMan on January 30, 2013 at 1:13 PM

Girls used to get married at 13.

John the Libertarian on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Black people used to be slaves in this country. Your point?

DethMetalCookieMonst on January 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

A young friend recommended the TV show “Criminal Minds” so I’ve checked it out a couple of times. Couldn’t watch for more than a few minutes. Rape, sadism, torture, dismemberment, untold numbers of screaming, begging women … this is what passes for entertainment these days? I’ve heard of guilty pleasures but this is nauseating. If “Leave it to Beaver” was on today it would be about empowering female sexuality. The mainstream entertainment industry has made us hyperaware of double entendre sexual references. Where is sexual modesty celebrated anymore.

Paul-Cincy on January 30, 2013 at 1:15 PM

I don’t want my children to be home schooled and Ron them of social interaction and growth.

Rusty Allen on January 30, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I’m not sure what “Ron” was supposed to be, but homeschooling won’t “Ron” them of social interaction (oh, that was probably “rob”!)

My kids are/were home schooled and they have more activities and good quality friends than I ever did in public school.

Home schooling is not for everyone but socialization is not a reason to avoid it.

We didn’t want our kids to miss out on what they’d get at public school so every morning I knock them down and take their lunch money.

jdpaz on January 30, 2013 at 1:16 PM

can you all try to actually learn about feminism before you bash it???

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I don’t think feminists really know what feminism is. Althouse talks about this a great deal. I’ve got a question: Is loud-and-proud sexuality empowering or demeaning? Is there a difference between this and “over-sexualization”? Feminists, whatever they are, don’t really know and it’s really much easier to shout about semantics.

Because patriarchy.

xuyee on January 30, 2013 at 1:17 PM

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Actually I do think all feminists are evil. If you feel that includes you, fine. Feminists let the genie out of the bottle. They can’t control what it does. Feminists wanted women to be like men. They got their wish. The fact that some feminists don’t like porn is completely irrelevant. My blanket statement had nothing to do whatever pathetic view the liberal witches currently hold, because that will change on a daily basis. Like how feminist hated sexual harassment until Clinton did it and now you nags say nothing about it. You nags derided Bush about war until your little sissy became President and you nags don’t care about the subject any longer.

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 1:22 PM

The sky is falling.

Always. (Except for back in the Good Old Days, of course.)

thirtyandseven on January 30, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Jeddite on January 30, 2013 at 1:07 PM

Yep. And, then, you can explain about consequences when your boss fires you, and your kids want to know why you have to start shopping at Goodwill bins. Heh.

Rusty Allen on January 30, 2013 at 1:00 PM

My favorite response as a former home-schooling dad:
Yeah, I used to worry about socialization, too. Then I started beating up my kid and stealing his lunch money before I left for work every day. Problem solved!

GWB on January 30, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Dangit! jdpaz beat me to it!

GWB on January 30, 2013 at 1:32 PM

Flange on January 30, 2013 at 1:22 PM

Thank you Flange. My take is the distinction is merely two sides of the same coin. Militant liberalism. You made the case.

DanMan on January 30, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Heh, yeah, old joke.

jdpaz on January 30, 2013 at 1:35 PM

can you all try to actually learn about feminism before you bash it???

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Can you learn proper spelling, grammar and syntax before you lecture us, Pricess?

To answer your little Valley Girl question, we are notthe ones who bastardized feminism. That honor goes to the National Organization for Women, which believes one cannot be pro-woman and pro-life at the same time.

Maddie on January 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM

okay i want to add to my comment… to learn more about feminism, it’s as easy as reading things on wikipedia!!

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Wikipedia is a user-supplied database upon which one can post anything.

In other words, it it a “source” only for lazy airheads.

Aren’t you late for fifth-period algebra?

Maddie on January 30, 2013 at 1:39 PM

Dangit! jdpaz beat me to it!

GWB on January 30, 2013 at 1:32 PM

You are more than welcome to come over and beat up my kid, if it makes you feel any better.

Any lunch money you wrangle from him is yours.

Maddie on January 30, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Feminism has a LOT to do with it. They are the ones shouting at the top of their lungs that they can go have sex with anyone.

Last I heard, it takes two people to do that. Tell your sons exactly what you tell your daughters.

bmmg39 on January 30, 2013 at 1:47 PM

Shump on January 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM

Amen, Shump. Amen.

pannw on January 30, 2013 at 1:49 PM

It’s terrible when boys threaten violence like putting girls in a pressure cooker if they don’t perform sex acts!

But as horrible as this situation–and usage–is, the article also illustrates how far Britain has come–and perhaps we have come–with the idea of victimization as well.

– She chose to perform a sex act on the kid and apparently without the condition that he not record it.

- She didn’t think ahead about what a recording would mean.

- She decided that she would threaten suicide

- She climbed out of the window to sell the job.

Some foresight would have saved quite a bit of turmoil. Just some .

What I see is that bizarre melange of feminism, where a girl can act like a boy–but a boy is still wrong for acting more like a boy–but if she makes a string of bad decisions, she can still end up a “victim” of terrible, terrible boys.

It also illustrates the failure of contemporary society where it is some kind of sin to be a prude, to not give in, to not be with it–despite that the actual events of the times are bemoaned as well by people who can’t extricate themselves from this mindset.

People are supposed to be nice and sex is supposed to be fun and safe and good-hearted. And they thought they were putting all the meanness behind them by convincing themselves that the values of the current crowd were better than the mean old fogies and buzz-kills. But there is no plan B. Just follow along with the crowd, do what’s popular, be current, and occasionally kvetch about the signs of the times.

Axeman on January 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Pretty much everything conservatives said would happen as a result of sexual permissiveness is happening.

But remember: Conservatives are the ones who are out of touch with reality.

Socratease on January 30, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Too bad no one has been warning people about the dangers of a sexually permissive society for the Las fifty years or so….too bad.

On the other hand — Way to go Feminism! Now women are seen as objects not only by men but by themselves as well!

29Victor on January 30, 2013 at 1:56 PM

there is a split in feminist views, with some feminists being very sex-positive and other feminists (i think it’s the majority) disliking porn and prostitution and sexualizing young girls.

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM

The split really doesn’t matter. Because a brand of feminism is mainly responsible for telling girls that they are liberated if they care as little for commitment as boys. In fact they combine messages when women suggest that the WAY to liberate themselves is to treat men as sex objects in the same way as men treat women.

Porn is wrong because it unfairly objectifies women, if men are objectified, to some it evens the scales.

Axeman on January 30, 2013 at 1:59 PM

They have prosecuted some kids in Pennsylvania for this stuff. It’s considered trafficking in child pornography in some states.

rockmom on January 30, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Pretty much everything conservatives said would happen as a result of sexual permissiveness is happening.

But remember: Conservatives are the ones who are out of touch with reality.

Socratease on January 30, 2013 at 1:55 PM

I get pilloried regularly here for arguing against pornography. Seems a lot of conservative men think there is nothing wrong with it.

rockmom on January 30, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Maddie on January 30, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Anything I can do to help you homeschool! I can teach arithmetic as I subtract from his pocket, too!

(For those who might have had their sense of humor surgically removed, this is a joke. I would never beat up someone’s kid just to teach an arithmetic lesson!)

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, but most people are more capable of it than they think. And, socialization is what you make it.

GWB on January 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM

There has to be an answer without gutting the 1st Amendment, but I don’t know what it is.

The Rogue Tomato on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

“It’s only about sex! Everybody lies about it!” Sound familiar?

Without a moral compass we are going to continue to drift downward into amorality. The progressives need to have an amoral society in order to justify their existence and their rule.

I do not advocate a religious tone or rule, but there needs to be some moral absolutes to anchor everyone to a common reference and standard.

belad on January 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Haha!

Rusty Allen on January 30, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM

I just want to add that if you’re a feminist, fine. I’m not blaming every single person who calls themselves a feminist. For example, I don’t blame Camille Paglia for this type of development.

But it is a crazy element in feminism that can’t decide if marriage is rape or whether the girls should notch their bedposts like boys–however boys come to act in an increasingly amoral society.

Axeman on January 30, 2013 at 2:21 PM

This is your country.

This is your country without Jesus.

Any questions?

TMink on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Pretty much. It’s an uncomfortable truth for many, many people, it seems. It took me a long time to realize it and accept it myself…

visions on January 30, 2013 at 2:23 PM

This country “censors” things all the time because they’re “bad for you” (large sugary drinks, tobacco, marijuana, saturated fats, cyclamates, toilets with large tanks, and so on). Either we should be able to censor the immoral hypersexual content on TV because it’s bad for you, or government should take its nose out of our other business, too.

The Rogue Tomato on January 30, 2013 at 2:26 PM

(For those who might have had their sense of humor surgically removed, this is a joke. I would never beat up someone’s kid just to teach an arithmetic lesson!)

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, but most people are more capable of it than they think. And, socialization is what you make it.

GWB on January 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM

It is a joke, folks–I don’t actually have kids!

Maddie on January 30, 2013 at 2:27 PM

This is your country.

This is your country without Jesus.

Any questions?

TMink on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Nope. No questions.

The Rogue Tomato on January 30, 2013 at 2:27 PM

But it behooves us to see that cultural degradation has an impact throughout the culture,

Forty years of liberalism.

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 2:43 PM

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