Green Room

“Boys will ask you every day until you say yes”

posted at 12:14 pm on January 30, 2013 by

Cole Morton comments on the “culture of pornography” and its impact on teenagers in the UK, citing a horrific case in which a 13-year-old girl died trying to convince a boy to delete a video he had made of her performing a sex act on him:

The girls are fast approaching 13, the age that Chevonea Kendall-Bryan was when she leaned out of one of the windows on the fourth floor of a block of flats on this street. A boy she knew was down here on the ground, but this was not Romeo and Juliet. Far from it.

Chevonea had been pressurised into performing a sex act on him, and he had shared a phone clip of her doing so with all his mates. She threatened to jump from the window if he did not delete it. Then she slipped and fell 60 feet to the ground, dying from massive brain injuries. …

“Never before has girlhood been under such a sustained assault – from ads, alcohol marketing, girls’ magazines, sexually explicit TV programmes and the hard pornography that is regularly accessed in so many teenager’s bedrooms,” says the psychologist Steve Biddulph, currently touring the country to promote a book called Raising Girls.

It is a follow-up to his best-seller Raising Boys – and they are under pressure too, being led to believe that girls will look and behave like porn stars. Our children are becoming victims of pornification.

“It is usually girls who are on the receiving end of some pretty degrading stuff,” says Claire Perry MP, who has just been appointed David Cameron’s special adviser on the commercialisation and sexualisation of childhood. “We’ve got young girls being asked to write their names on their boobs and send pictures. Parents would be really shocked to know this is happening in pretty much every school in the country. Our children are growing up in a very sexualised world.”

I’m not suggesting that people demand government intervention or bans on cell phones with cameras, and so on.  But it behooves us to see that cultural degradation has an impact throughout the culture, and that children are not prepared for the consequences.  We need to act within the cultural paradigm to change it, and we need to make sure that we prepare our children and grandchildren for the world that they are entering.

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Comment pages: 1 2

Black people used to be slaves in this country. Your point?

DethMetalCookieMonst on January 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Black people still are. Their massa is now the Fed gubmint.

johnny reb on January 30, 2013 at 2:54 PM

can you all try to actually learn about feminism before you bash it???

Sachiko on January 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM

There’s nothing good about it. Sorry. I’m a woman approaching 50 and I’ve seen nothing about it except lies and BS.

What has it done for women? Disease, loneliness, overwork, death of family structures and community, an ideal that no one can really achieve (having it all)?

Somehow we were supposed to be equal to men, but we’re not. We’re definitely not that smart in the business realm. I have yet in my 30+ years of working life seen a woman mentor. I try, but I’m not high enough up on the food chain to make a difference and I scare other women because I don’t play games. Men understand this, women don’t. That’s why women will keep bashing their heads on the glass ceiling. And there’s still complaints 40+ years later that pay is not equal.

Sexual equality? Tell that to all the single mothers and their lost offspring? Abortion? Disease? No-fault divorce. Yes. What an achievement.

I see nothing positive or worthy about feminism as it’s been presented. Sorry.

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 2:54 PM

so the girl dies because she was so horrified that people were seeing a sex act she performed, and the Telegraph now publishes her identity for all to read?

Daemonocracy on January 30, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Gramsci. 1920/30′s. Undermine everthing – family, school, church. Rot it all out from the inside. Pretty much where we are now.

bofh on January 30, 2013 at 3:30 PM

Somehow we were supposed to be equal to men, but we’re not. We’re definitely not that smart in the business realm. I have yet in my 30+ years of working life seen a woman mentor.
kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 2:54 PM

Speak for yourself.

CityFish on January 30, 2013 at 3:31 PM

A society ripe for destruction.

tom daschle concerned on January 30, 2013 at 3:32 PM

This is a sad story admittedly.

I remember when I was a kid.

There was no crime.
No domestic violence.
No sex out of marriage.
No divorce.
No random acts of senseless violence.

/Utter and complete BS

CorporatePiggy on January 30, 2013 at 3:33 PM

The sky is falling.

Always. (Except for back in the Good Old Days, of course.)

thirtyandseven on January 30, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Exactly. The problems always start after our idyllic childhood ends. We wish for a “simpler time” without remembering that even those golden days weren’t so simple.

This is your country.

This is your country without Jesus.

Any questions?

TMink on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 PM

I have a question. Does a country need Jesus? I’m a Catholic and believe in the divinity of Christ but does Japan need Jesus? Does Israel?

thebrokenrattle on January 30, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I don’t think hypersexualization of females need be exclusively associated with feminism. There were a lot more brothels in the days when men supppsedly put women on a pedestal. Poor young women often had to turn to prostitution, as they still do in underdeveloped countries. Armies used to commit mass rape as a matter of course. What’s unique today is the pervasive ideological complicity of women.

Seth Halpern on January 30, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Speak for yourself.

CityFish on January 30, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Yeah. Because women help each other so much.

See: Palin, Sarah.

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 3:52 PM

Speak for yourself.

CityFish on January 30, 2013 at 3:31 PM

It’s not that women lack intelligence, and I don’t think that is what Kim is getting at, it’s that women have a different mindset than men, especially in how they treat and interact with other women.

Daemonocracy on January 30, 2013 at 4:00 PM

So whats the name of this young man, and all his cell phone mates?

Start exposing the pervs.

BobMbx on January 30, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Somehow we were supposed to be equal to men, but we’re not.

…and this is why people tune out the Republicans. There is a difference between being equal and the same. Do you feel that women’s contributions to society of mothering children, nurturing others, and working from home and within the community is just as valuable to a society as men’s financial and protective qualities? I do! See, this is where people throw out the baby with the bathwater. We aren’t supposed to be the SAME as men, we are wired differently. However, I want what I bring to the table to be just as valued as what men do. According to you Kim, we shouldn’t be. That is where we disagree! Maybe if we DID value what women bring to the table AS WOMEN then we would be less hung up (as feminists are!) about being like men and value what we do best, which is different than what men do.

tammyloc on January 30, 2013 at 4:11 PM

The consequence of trading “reason” for morals. Get used to it Europe. It won’t last though, for soon you will be taken by the Muslims.

nobar on January 30, 2013 at 4:23 PM

I hate the porn star shoes that all the young girls are wearing now, too. Soooo, stupid. I’d love them to meet all my 50 something friends having bunion surgery.

Fallon on January 30, 2013 at 4:27 PM

It’s not that women lack intelligence, and I don’t think that is what Kim is getting at, it’s that women have a different mindset than men, especially in how they treat and interact with other women.

Daemonocracy on January 30, 2013 at 4:00 PM

Thank you so much. That’s a much better way to put it and what I was getting at. Women (I’m going to generalize here – YMMV) are nasty and unhelpful to each other. They think there’s only one of something and have to backbite and claw each other for it. Men seem to know differently. That’s why they call it the “old boy’s club.

It’s like liberals and their view on money/wealth. They think it’s finite, whereas conservatives know there’s enough for everyone and that it’s not finite.

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Somehow we were supposed to be equal to men, but we’re not.

…and this is why people tune out the Republicans. There is a difference between being equal and the same. Do you feel that women’s contributions to society of mothering children, nurturing others, and working from home and within the community is just as valuable to a society as men’s financial and protective qualities? I do! See, this is where people throw out the baby with the bathwater. We aren’t supposed to be the SAME as men, we are wired differently. However, I want what I bring to the table to be just as valued as what men do. According to you Kim, we shouldn’t be. That is where we disagree! Maybe if we DID value what women bring to the table AS WOMEN then we would be less hung up (as feminists are!) about being like men and value what we do best, which is different than what men do.

tammyloc on January 30, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I’m stating the feminist mantra is wrong, as you are. Feminists want “equality”, which is being the same as men as to their definition. It’s not mine. I agree with you, actually.

Women have so much power just being women. Why would we want to lose that by trying to be men? The feminists never considered that aspect and tried to re-invent the wheel instead of perhaps massaging it to be better or improved.

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 4:38 PM

Forget it. It’s too late. This genie isn’t getting put back.

rrpjr on January 30, 2013 at 4:38 PM

I hate the porn star shoes that all the young girls are wearing now, too. Soooo, stupid. I’d love them to meet all my 50 something friends having bunion surgery.

Fallon on January 30, 2013 at 4:27 PM

I dare you to call them “porn star shoes” to a otherwise modestly dressed woman’s face :P

thebrokenrattle on January 30, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Still not seeing how this is the boys fault.

theblackcommenter on January 30, 2013 at 5:08 PM

@Fallon: Spikey or elevated heels on twelve-year-olds seems not quite right. I’m accustomed to seeing stiletto heels on fortyish (and up) tango dancers. But you should hear those women oooh and ahhh at eachother’s footwear.

Seth Halpern on January 30, 2013 at 5:10 PM

Meanwhile, Planned Parenthood thought it was totally awesome.

Ward Cleaver on January 30, 2013 at 5:39 PM

I would make more tango jokes but I wouldn’t want to get into trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrubble. :(

Seth Halpern on January 30, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Everybody’s missing the main point here. We’ve *got* to pass a law that limits all buildings to a single story. Nobody *needs* a 6 story building that throws little girls out of windows. Think of the children!!!!

gregbert on January 30, 2013 at 5:52 PM

“If it saves just one child…”

MetaThought on January 30, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Black people used to be slaves in this country. Your point?

DethMetalCookieMonst on January 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

And there is still slavery all over the world. The point is we’ve done a lot of civilizing over the past two centuries, we’ve made a lot of progress. But don’t give me reactionary squealing about everything’s going to hell in a bucket.

John the Libertarian on January 30, 2013 at 6:29 PM

Maybe there should be a law banning 13 year old girls from having sex.

Spliff Menendez on January 30, 2013 at 6:45 PM

kim roy on January 30, 2013 at 4:33 PM

In my mother’s parlance, you’re a “tough cookie”, and I admire and respect you.

itsspideyman on January 30, 2013 at 7:14 PM

Future members of Congress

Hammie on January 30, 2013 at 7:15 PM

And there is still slavery all over the world. The point is we’ve done a lot of civilizing over the past two centuries, we’ve made a lot of progress. But don’t give me reactionary squealing about everything’s going to hell in a bucket.

John the Libertarian on January 30, 2013 at 6:29 PM

Your historical perspective is music to my ears.

thebrokenrattle on January 30, 2013 at 8:32 PM

The day may be nigh at hand that the fall of the corrupt and sodomized West at the hands of Islam could save mankind.

It’s headed in that direction ever faster everyday.

PappyD61 on January 30, 2013 at 9:58 PM

Telling girls to act like boys is a problem only if you think boys are all horndogs. They aren’t, of course, and focusing only on girls’ behavior when looking at promiscuity is part of the problem.

bmmg39 on January 30, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Ten years or so ago I worked in the children’s department of a major department store. One of the complaints we heard all the time from parents was that the children’s clothing was starting to look like the clothing in the juniors’ department–short, tight, and skimpy/revealing/seductive. The parents wanted more of the cutesy, modest, age-appropriate outfits.

When the executives from the state’s main office came to our store and asked me what we were hearing from shoppers, I told them. And the woman in charge of children’s wear rolled her eyes, made fun of the “pretty cupcake” clothing the parents wanted, and said that was just too bad–that it was the goal of the store to make all of the children’s department look like the juniors’ department. She thought the parents were prudes, and her attitude was basically, “We don’t care what the parents want. The parents will buy what we give them to buy.”

It’s not children pushing for this hypersexualization–it’s adults. Oh, sure–kids want to emulate what their favorite famous people are doing. But it’s adults–sicko, creepo adults–who are pushing kids today to grow up too soon and think they’re ready for this kind of behavior.

That the cultural degradation we’re experiencing is affecting children as it is might be just another consequence of the loose morals of our age. But a good portion of it is by design, I think. The candy-offering weirdos who lure children into their vans could hardly ask for more.

butterflies and puppies on January 30, 2013 at 11:34 PM

I hate the porn star shoes that all the young girls are wearing now, too. Soooo, stupid. I’d love them to meet all my 50 something friends having bunion surgery.

Fallon on January 30, 2013 at 4:27 PM

As isolated designs — not applied designs — they’re attractive to the eye, but what they express and fulfill functionally is that WOMEN CAN’T RUN IN THEM when they’re worn as shoes.

The idea, I’ll repeat that, functionally is that WOMEN WEARING THEM AS SHOES CAN’T RUN, they can’t run.

Lourdes on January 31, 2013 at 4:32 AM

That the cultural degradation we’re experiencing is affecting children as it is might be just another consequence of the loose morals of our age. But a good portion of it is by design, I think. The candy-offering weirdos who lure children into their vans could hardly ask for more.

butterflies and puppies on January 30, 2013 at 11:34 PM

Yes, right you are there.

Lourdes on January 31, 2013 at 4:34 AM

Telling girls to act like boys is a problem only if you think boys are all horndogs. They aren’t, of course, and focusing only on girls’ behavior when looking at promiscuity is part of the problem.

bmmg39 on January 30, 2013 at 10:05 PM

The social expectation (and role fulfilled) by women for centuries, as being the gate-keeper, so to speak, is what’s been altered and we’re suffering for that as a civilization.

Women-as-men has abandoned the worth, or social value — the “prestige” if you will or social ranking benefit — of women as gatekeeper for sex.ual activity.

Women then, “as men,” abandon value for the consequences which, due to the greater cost to women physically, greater liabilities, from sex.ual activity, has continued a general degradation of the worth of women.

Which is contrary to what feminism claims to have had as a goal.

Lourdes on January 31, 2013 at 4:37 AM

And the woman in charge of children’s wear rolled her eyes, made fun of the “pretty cupcake” clothing the parents wanted, and said that was just too bad–that it was the goal of the store to make all of the children’s department look like the juniors’ department. She thought the parents were prudes, and her attitude was basically, “We don’t care what the parents want. The parents will buy what we give them to buy.”

I was just in the children’s department shopping for my young niece and had the same reaction to the merchandise. It was trashy, cheap and hypersexualized. I went to a different store. Next time I think I’ll complain to the management.

patriette on January 31, 2013 at 9:41 AM

I blame Hollywood.

ExpressoBold on January 31, 2013 at 10:49 AM

The social expectation (and role fulfilled) by women for centuries, as being the gate-keeper, so to speak, is what’s been altered and we’re suffering for that as a civilization.

Women-as-men has abandoned the worth, or social value — the “prestige” if you will or social ranking benefit — of women as gatekeeper for sex.ual activity.

Women then, “as men,” abandon value for the consequences which, due to the greater cost to women physically, greater liabilities, from sex.ual activity, has continued a general degradation of the worth of women.

Which is contrary to what feminism claims to have had as a goal.

Lourdes on January 31, 2013 at 4:37 AM

Women were named the gatekeepers because no one wanted to acknowledge that many women and girls want to have sex, just as many men and boys don’t want to. For decades, society placed the onus on the female, arguing that “boys will be boys.” On a daytime talk show years ago, the studio audience applauded when the teenage girl said she was “worth waiting for” — and then laughed when the teenage boy said he wasn’t “looking to do that right now.” Society actually derides in boys what they demand of girls, all because of these silly stereotypes that never reflected reality.

bmmg39 on January 31, 2013 at 12:58 PM

bmmg39 on January 31, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I agree. When I joined the army at 19 I was still a virgin. I didn’t want anyone to know because it was embarrassing. I don’t know how many others were and denied it, but there was a stigma attached to it.

At my high school graduation I heard two of the girls talking and one wondered if there were any virgins in the class. That was back in 1980.

Dan_Yul on January 31, 2013 at 3:07 PM

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