Green Room

Video: “You smell great, though!”

posted at 11:55 am on January 5, 2013 by

How do you get your stolen iPhone back after the thief starts using it to troll dating sites — as yourself? Create a new persona as a flirty girl with, er, huge tracts of land (and a lot of emoticons), and set a trap for the Kissing Bandit. Nadal Nirenberg managed to get both his phone back and a great story to tell of sex, lies, and online-dates:

The man with Nirenberg’s iPhone showed up in a nice jacket, smelling of cologne, and had a bottle of wine, Nirenberg said.

“I followed him up the stairs and he turns around and, basically, I confront him right here,” Nirenberg said. “I put the $20 in his hand to defuse the situation as fast as possible, but I had a hammer in my hand just in case.”

The man handed over the iPhone, took the money and ran, but not before Nirenberg got the last word.

“As he was walking away, I was surprised, I said, ‘You smell great though,’” Nirenberg said.

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Hammer Control!!!

rihar on January 5, 2013 at 12:57 PM

Hammertime!

di butler on January 5, 2013 at 1:59 PM

I don’t understand the $20 thing. You have a hammer in your hand, why do you need to have a $20 in the other?

All in all, the dude was an idiot. He had no idea what kind of person was going to show up there. He’s just very fortunate it wasn’t someone with darker intentions.

ButterflyDragon on January 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM

All in all, the dude was an idiot.

ButterflyDragon on January 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM

I will agree wholeheartedly.

GWB on January 5, 2013 at 2:37 PM

I thought this was going to be about Joe Biden.

forest on January 5, 2013 at 2:49 PM

forest on January 5, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Heh. Have to admit I did, too, when I first saw the title.

GWB on January 5, 2013 at 3:41 PM

GWB on January 5, 2013 at 3:41 PM

Makes 3 of us.

Robert_Paulson on January 5, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Makes 3 of us.

Robert_Paulson on January 5, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Four.

Fallon on January 5, 2013 at 4:49 PM

It looks like he paid the thief $20, and showed him where he lives, and is now making a GIANT FOOL outta the guy in a viral kinda way… I am so not patting this dude on the back.

It lol, but wtf at the same time.

RalphyBoy on January 5, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Brains and bravery. Me likey!

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on January 5, 2013 at 6:04 PM

Ordinary folks brandish a gun or a knife to make your point.

But a $20 and a hammer says you really care. A lot.

Who says Romance is dead?

CorporatePiggy on January 5, 2013 at 6:41 PM

It lol, but wtf at the same time.

RalphyBoy on January 5, 2013 at 5:31 PM

From the crook’s point of view it was WTF–>OMFG–> SOS–> BM.

CorporatePiggy on January 5, 2013 at 6:44 PM

Here is $20 for stealing my phone, you smell great! Thanks again!—-who got the better of who here?

Dollayo on January 5, 2013 at 7:18 PM

He is an idiot for dealing with this problem himself instead of relying on government agents to do it for him, if they would even bother? When I had my apartment broken into and lots of electronics stolen the police didn’t even bother coming out, they took a report over the phone and told me to check local pawn shops for my stuff.

Good for him for taking care of this himself. No one got hurt, the guy got humiliated and maybe won’t be so eager to grab someone’s iPhone next time.

Of course smashing the thief’s knuckles with the hammer may have reinforced the point that stealing someone’s iPhone by itself is not a good idea.

Take your rights back, people, don’t be little sheep waiting for the government to get around to shepherding you around.

Neo on January 5, 2013 at 9:40 PM

Good for him.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who got carjacked. The cops said, do you want to see the victim counselor. She said no, I want my car back! So they drove around, found it at the local thief’s house, and got it back. The cops loved her attitude. :)

BTW why do people steal phones when they wont’ be usable? Am I missing something?

PattyJ on January 6, 2013 at 12:13 AM

Guys, read the whole story. The hammer wielder left his phone in the back of a cab (on his way to “a gig”). He texted and called his phone & offered a $20 reward if it was returned, but no one answered. Finally he saw some other guy was messaging girls he’d been messaging online from his username, deduced what was going on, and he set up this whole scenario.

Saying guy #2 STOLE the phone, while technically true, kinds of make the story sound worse than it is. The guy was an opportunistic jerk, but it’s not like guy #1 thought he was inviting some hardened criminal over.

Timin203 on January 6, 2013 at 2:00 AM

The guy was an opportunistic jerk, but it’s not like guy #1 thought he was inviting some hardened criminal over.

Timin203 on January 6, 2013 at 2:00 AM

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Still a risky way to handle it… On the other hand… If the Phone Loser has stuff on said phone that maybe the cops would find a reason to go after Mr. Hammer Wielder for… ummm.
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Worst case, the Date Monkey and the Hammer get into a pushing match on the stairs and the Hammer gets used. Any lawyers wan’t to discuss premed? Or defense if sued by Dating Boy after being left permanently disabled by the Hammer? On the common area stair case? After being invited over by a shady false online persona?…

Could become the World’s Most Expensive Phone Ever…

If this is all good then I know a few peeps who owe my a buck or two… It’s Hammer Time!

RalphyBoy on January 6, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Too bad the cops won’t use the pinpoint app to locate the phone.

Bmore on January 6, 2013 at 12:26 PM