Green Room

I’m sure I’m wrong to wish this story were true

posted at 1:31 pm on December 1, 2012 by

… but if it is, I’m going to laugh anyway. From RightLinks blog. (But I’d still like to see some verification.)

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills
outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the
protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activists, “growing tired of
throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it, ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960′s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passersby. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’ and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

There’s more at the link, but you get the gist of it.

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Comment pages: 1 2

This is awesome!

Dack Thrombosis on December 1, 2012 at 1:42 PM

How stupid do you have to be…LOL!

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 1:47 PM

I hope this is the beginning of a trend.

Global WARMongers getting in the faces of oil field workers.

Gays confronting Muslims outside mosques.

Feminists ” ” ” ”

Atheists ” ” ” ”

Fight the Power!

~8-)

Joe Mama on December 1, 2012 at 1:48 PM

“La Trene” bah ha ha ha

Stu Gotts on December 1, 2012 at 1:48 PM

Not true. Story dates back to 2010, still funny.

sentinelrules on December 1, 2012 at 1:50 PM

began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood,

Sounds like assault to me. Do not assault bike gang members if you don’t want the consequences.

rbj on December 1, 2012 at 1:50 PM

If you didn’t click the link, you have to see the guy duct taped to the tree. I don’t care if it’s true or not, it made me laugh for the first time in weeks.

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 1:55 PM

Sorry, I am still laughing! True or not!

It is not nice to mess with a motorcycle gang, they take things in their own hands it seems?
L

letget on December 1, 2012 at 1:56 PM

“Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

Truly a child-like intellect.

FOWG1 on December 1, 2012 at 1:56 PM

I may not have a motorcycle any longer but I still have my leather jacket and I will wear it indiscriminately as I see fit.

Oh, and I will file assault charges against any bonehead if they throw red water balloons at me.

If they’re still around, that is.

skatz51 on December 1, 2012 at 1:56 PM

This will never actually happen, for the same reason that no one protests against Muslims for their abuses.

Count to 10 on December 1, 2012 at 1:58 PM

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/leatherprotest.asp

Took about a minute and a half to check.

Come HotAir, you’re (used to be?) better than this.

davidk on December 1, 2012 at 2:02 PM

I have about as much sympathy for them as I do for the oxygen-wasters who go missing after harassing hunters in the middle of a forest. Annoying someone with a gun who’s already out to kill something where there’s no witnesses, no cameras, and the nearest 5-0 is a fat old park ranger miles away…yeah…real @#$%ing brilliant!

The very real need for law and order notwithstanding, there’s something to be said for a nation that doesn’t make every attempt to rescue people from self-chlorinating the gene pool.

MelonCollie on December 1, 2012 at 2:03 PM

If you didn’t click the link, you have to see the guy duct taped to the tree. I don’t care if it’s true or not, it made me laugh for the first time in weeks.

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 1:55 PM

So I clicked the link. Doesn’t look very woodsie, and the people don’t much look like bikers.

http://i496.photobucket.com/albums/rr321/kuThj3N/th_man-duct-taped-tree.jpg

davidk on December 1, 2012 at 2:07 PM

I’ve been saying for years that animal rights activists should do exactly this.

More liberals should, for once in their pathetic miserable lives, finally stand up for something they believe in.

logis on December 1, 2012 at 2:09 PM

Feel-good story of the week…

affenhauer on December 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM

I thought they passed an ordinance a few years back allowing the French to travel freely in Cambria County again.

forest on December 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM

So I clicked the link. Doesn’t look very woodsie, and the people don’t much look like bikers.

http://i496.photobucket.com/albums/rr321/kuThj3N/th_man-duct-taped-tree.jpg

davidk on December 1, 2012 at 2:07 PM

And he’s kind of too high up to pee on comfortably, I’m guessing. It still made me laugh.

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Jazz, did you even bother to check out ‘Glossy News’?

It looks like an Onion-wanna-be. If you presented this as a joke, fine… but to present it as a possible news story?

Sad.

dalewalt on December 1, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Damn….I missed it…?

NeoKong on December 1, 2012 at 2:54 PM

Do you know what is most incredulous about this story? They acted in violence and then are shocked, SHOCKED!, that violence was returned to them. These people are children.

NotCoach on December 1, 2012 at 2:59 PM

Count to 10 on December 1, 2012 at 1:58 PM

post of the day

iconoclast on December 1, 2012 at 3:00 PM

dalewalt on December 1, 2012 at 2:21 PM

DOH!

I just checked out their site after reading your post. I think you’re right.

NotCoach on December 1, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Actually the biker is making a big mistake calling the activist french. There are practically zero French vegans. That is one liberal tendency that does not reach France. How can we use meat eating to turn France away from Socialism. Hmmmm

RutRoh on December 1, 2012 at 3:04 PM

Took about a minute and a half to check.
Come HotAir, you’re (used to be?) better than this.
davidk on December 1, 2012 at 2:02 PM

I agree. Jazz Shaw was incredibly lazy and careless to post this.

It seems like standards go out the window here on weekends. Pathetic.

It is also interesting to see Jazz Shaw express vindictive glee in hoping that this story were real. It reminds me of the embarrassing, vindictive blog post of his week or so ago in which he celebrated the character assassination of a young woman who had performed a misunderstood photo sight gag.

bluegill on December 1, 2012 at 3:11 PM

Perhaps they should stick to picketing outside Nieman Marcus.
.
Those customers are genuinely intimidated by these idiots.

listens2glenn on December 1, 2012 at 3:14 PM

Yeah, fake. But the happiest kind of Christmas story uplifting fake.

SarahW on December 1, 2012 at 3:25 PM

Not wrong to wish it is true, Jazz. This is what the libs have pushed us to……wishing that someone, anyone, would stand up to them and react to them in the manner they deserve.

A fun story to lighten the mood somewhat.

Thanks for the laugh.

Jvette on December 1, 2012 at 3:33 PM

Funny, even it’s not true. I’d respect those loonies more if they would attack someone who could really fight back, instead of women.

juliesa on December 1, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Funny, even it’s not true. I’d respect those loonies more if they would attack someone who could really fight back, instead of women.

juliesa on December 1, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Yeah, like that will ever happen.

Jvette on December 1, 2012 at 3:48 PM

Leather is damned near required safety gear for motorcyclists. It is one of the few materials that will keep road rash from a wipe off your skin. All the fake leather would do is reduce the road rash about 3%.

Animal rights activists are just another form of Malthusian human hating sickos.

astonerii on December 1, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Fake, but funny!

22044 on December 1, 2012 at 4:11 PM

Seems reasonable to me…

we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it, ergo, they should stop.”

So you decided you could control their actions, choices, and lives just because you wanted to?

Well they decided they could control YOUR actions, choices, and lives because they wanted to… and they won. But at least you got the controlling part down, so you’re at least reasonably happy… right?

gekkobear on December 1, 2012 at 4:28 PM

It does make the pointb that these idiots will attack women en masse but are too cowardly to go up against a motocycle gang on principle.

shuzilla on December 1, 2012 at 4:28 PM

Yeah, fake. But the happiest kind of Christmas story uplifting fake.

SarahW on December 1, 2012 at 3:25 PM

It’s kind of sad that it’s come to this, but you are right!

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 4:35 PM

I’m a conservative Hot Air commenter, most likely a church-going evangelical, filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowing with the love of Jesus Christ. I think it’s funny when people who see the world differently than me are terrorized, bullied, and shamed. Vote Republican!

Alpha_Male on December 1, 2012 at 4:43 PM

Your first clue should be that it came from “Glossy News” which is kind of a “Weekly World News” site. Some of their stories:

‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert

NASA: Orphan’s Wishes Upon Star Light-Years Too Late “PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration confirmed today that the star little Timmy Johannsen has been wishing upon nearly every night for the past 3 years, actually collapsed and burned out approximately 48 million years ago, thus rendering little Timmy’s wishes null and void.”

Fiscal Cliff More Popular than Niagara Falls “It’s official. The Fiscal Cliff has overtaken Niagara Falls as America’s favorite tourist destination. District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray was delighted to announce that his city is home to the newest Washington attraction.”

Zombies Found Roaming Chain Stores Black Friday Weekend

crosspatch on December 1, 2012 at 4:57 PM

I’m a conservative Hot Air commenter, most likely a church-going evangelical, filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowing with the love of Jesus Christ. I think it’s funny when people who see the world differently than me are terrorized, bullied, and shamed. Vote Republican!

Alpha_Male on December 1, 2012 at 4:43 PM

See, I told you you would never run short of outrageous injustice to whine about! This story is fake. It is funny because you liberals pick fights with people who won’t beat you up or kill you, like little old lady’s wearing fur coats. So of course this incident couldn’t really happen- LOL! I would like to see you protest to make mosques perform gay marriage ceremonies. Then come back and talk about people who see the world differently than you, if you can. Oh, and pictures or it didn’t happen.

Night Owl on December 1, 2012 at 5:07 PM

Fiction, but I wish it were true… :D

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/leatherprotest.asp

oddball on December 1, 2012 at 5:24 PM

’m a godless reprobate

Alpha_Male on December 1, 2012 at 4:43 PM

tom daschle concerned on December 1, 2012 at 5:49 PM

Were there really people that didn’t understand that “wish this story were true” meant “this isn’t true, but it would be cool if it was”?

Count to 10 on December 1, 2012 at 6:08 PM

Not true. Story dates back to 2010, still funny.

sentinelrules on December 1, 2012 at 1:50 PM

Real bikers would just fracture their jaw and leave it at that.

Paul-Cincy on December 1, 2012 at 6:27 PM

First clue s/b that sissies like Alpha_Male, would never, ever, get close to those real men.

Schadenfreude on December 1, 2012 at 7:04 PM

First clue s/b that sissies like Alpha_Male would never, ever, get close to those real men.

Schadenfreude on December 1, 2012 at 7:05 PM

Alpha_Male any time

I really enjoy irony… Especially when it is unintended, by liberal douches.

LegendHasIt on December 1, 2012 at 7:20 PM

…..
Zombies Found Roaming Chain Stores Black Friday Weekend
crosspatch on December 1, 2012 at 4:57 PM

WAIT!!!

I’ve actually seen the actual videos of that!!!!

Oh wait, those were Z-obama-nies.

Nevermind.

LegendHasIt on December 1, 2012 at 7:30 PM

If this makes it to the main board, I anticipate a “What could go wrong?” title…

JohnD13 on December 1, 2012 at 7:42 PM

I’m a conservative Hot Air commenter, most likely a church-going evangelical, filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowing with the love of Jesus Christ. I think it’s funny when people who see the world differently than me are terrorized, bullied, and shamed. Vote Republican!

Alpha_Male on December 1, 2012 at 4:43 PM

You do know that PETA is a terrorist organization, don’t you?

“Even if animal research resulted in a cure for AIDS, we’d be against it.”
— Ingrid Newkirk, President and Co-Founder of PETA

Liberals are known for being drooling bloodthirsty cultists who don’t hesitate to threaten violence against people for the “crime” of being different. Me? Being a christian, I’d gladly sacrifice a million lab rats to save just one stricken member of the gay community.

You keep standing up for PETA though, you just prove everything we already know about you.

Alberta_Patriot on December 1, 2012 at 7:49 PM

You do know that PETA is a terrorist organization, don’t you?

“Even if animal research resulted in a cure for AIDS, we’d be against it.”
— Ingrid Newkirk, President and Co-Founder of PETA

Liberals are known for being drooling bloodthirsty cultists who don’t hesitate to threaten violence against people for the “crime” of being different. Me? Being a christian, I’d gladly sacrifice a million lab rats to save just one stricken member of the gay community.

You keep standing up for PETA though, you just prove everything we already know about you.
Alberta_Patriot on December 1, 2012 at 7:49 PM

I didn’t express any opinion on PETA or animal rights activism in general. I was just pointing out how much delight these commenters (and the original poster) are getting from torture porn, especially considering that most of them would consider themselves adherents of a religion purportedly devoted to love. But I guess Hell is kind of like God duct-taping people who disagree with him to the inside of a very hot dumpster for a very long time, so maybe there’s no hypocrisy here, after all.

Alpha_Male on December 1, 2012 at 8:03 PM

Comment pages: 1 2