Green Room

Man Tells Kids Santa Isn’t Real, Gets Arrested

posted at 3:15 pm on November 26, 2012 by

The actual charges stemmed from violations other than sand-bagging unsuspecting children with the ultimate spoiler, but still:

A real-life Grinch was arrested after he spoiled the holiday cheer at a parade, telling children that Santa isn’t real. The unidentified 24-year-old man, who had his hair gelled to look as though devil horns were protruding from his head, was arrested by police in the Canadian town of Kingston last week during the annual Santa Claus parade, authorities said in statement. The St. Nicholas naysayer faces criminal charges of causing a disturbance by being drunk and breach of probation.

This guy sounds like a real prince.  Pro-tip: If you’re on probation, don’t get hammered and rob little kids of one of the unique joys of early childhood.  For whatever reason, I’m always interested to hear how friends of mine eventually discovered (ahem) the truth about ‘Ole St. Nick.  Perhaps this fascination is borne out of my woefully underdeveloped theory that this picayune developmental milestone may offer some insight into one’s broader outlook on life.  Getting accosted by a drunk twenty-something wearing fake devil horns at a Christmas-themed parade might just scrape the bottom of the Santa revelation barrel, no?   As for yours truly, I confronted my mother at age five — demanding the truth after quite a lot of ruminating and skepticism over the basic logistics of Santa’s supposed delivery methods.  Caught off guard and unsure about how to proceed, she leveled with me.  Fire away, armchair psychologists.

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