Green Room

Sesame Street: EXPOSED

posted at 3:35 pm on October 13, 2012 by

Well, politics has a way of ruining things.  It’s latest victim is Sesame Street.  During last week’s presidential debate, Republican nominee Mitt Romney said that PBS and Big Bird didn’t need government funding. Little kids went ballistic. The Obama campaign actually released an addepicting Bid Bird as the head of a massive corporate criminal conspiracy.

That sad fact is that it’s true. Big Bird had ruled Sesame Street since the late 1990s after he was able to knock off his rival, Cookie Monster, during the ’99 War. Allegedly, Bird’s two main hit men, Bert and Ernie, laced one of Monster’s cookies with cyanide leading to a cessation of hostilities.

In the aftermath, Bird became the undisputed Boss on Sesame Street.  According to Norah O’Donnell at CBS News, once Bird took over, his underboss, Aloysius Snuffleupagus, made sure that he dealt with what was left of Cookie’s crime family.

Oscar the Grouch, Cookie’s consigliere, was found dead inside his garbage can riddled almost 45 times with 50. caliber bullets.

Count Von Count, underboss to Monster, vanished without a trace, but was last seen leaving P.S. 118 after giving a “numbers lesson” to sixth graders.  It’s a well known fact that the school system served as the life’s blood for Cookie’s illegal Ritalin trade.

Elmo, Grover, and Kermit, who were all of Cookie’s capos, were killed in a car bomb planted, according to most news sources, by Bert.

Since then, Big Bird, a lovable sociopath, has kept Sesame Street under his domain and no one has dared challenge him since then.

Originally posted at Misfit Politics.

Recently in the Green Room:

Blowback

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

I always thought that Kermit was the real criminal mastermind behind the Sesame Street operation. I mean, really, how can you trust a guy who eats flies?

Mary in LA on October 13, 2012 at 10:19 PM

I think I know who the real mastermind is.

http://www.bertisevil.tv/

SagebrushPuppet on October 13, 2012 at 11:23 PM

Cute. Just shows what you can accomplish with a good mouth piece and you lawyering up early.
You know I’m tired of being forced to pay tribute to this liberal facism fed to our children. How ’bout we fight back.
Barry takes over GM? Hires and fires as he sees fit? Why not put John Bolton in charge of PBS. Have Jonal Goldberg over reviewing all material for liberal bias and immediately call them out for what it really is, hate.
Demand honesty and integrity instead of their elite, pompousprogressive, liberalmarxism hurled at the people of this once great nation.
These are sick tyrannical haters poisoning the mines of our children, turning them into puppets, with muppets. There’s little difference between them and those that use kids shows to encourage suicide and murder. They’re just much more subtle, and I’m sick of them.
On a lighter ending note I do like the nature programs… oh the hell I do, Nova and that’s it! And a good portion of it is crap now give me back my tax money!!!

onomo on October 14, 2012 at 12:10 PM

Sesame Street is BIG BUSINESS!!! Doesn’t that make them EVIL??? Should they even be allowed to TALK to kids????

/sarc>

landlines on October 14, 2012 at 3:30 PM


HotAir — Politics, Culture, Media, 2017, Breaking News from a conservative viewpoint
Top Pick

Going for the record

Top Pick

“We will answer them on the field”

Taking it to the limit

Sunday morning talking heads

Jazz Shaw Jun 25, 2017 8:01 AM

Health care and tweeting and Russia, oh my!

Will they stay or will they go?

I can’t imagine what I was thinking when I said that

Rocking the boat majorly

Big government never contracts. It only grows more powerful

It’s only a “ban” until it becomes inconvenient

The decline and fall of Obamacare and the AHCA

Jazz Shaw Jun 24, 2017 8:31 AM

This was all over before it began

Fixing crime in America is a complicated issue

Taylor Millard Jun 23, 2017 8:31 PM

Cops alone won’t solve it.

Victim’s father was President Maduro’s supervisor back when he was a bus driver.

Democrats forgot all about the “era of good feelings”

“Bernie and Jane Sanders have lawyered up.”

“the Judiciary Committee is examining the circumstances surrounding the removal of James Comey.”

Winning isn’t everything. It is the only thing

Trump signs VA reform bill into law

John Sexton Jun 23, 2017 2:41 PM

“What happened was a national disgrace, and yet some of the employees involved in these scandals remained on the payrolls.”

A new era of something.

“…died suddenly in less than a week just after his return to the U.S.”

The shortsightedness of “Denounce and Preserve”

Taylor Millard Jun 23, 2017 12:11 PM

Pragmatism for the sake of pragmatism doesn’t always work.

Perhaps if you threw in a new car?

Gay marriages still growing, but not as fast

Andrew Malcolm Jun 23, 2017 10:31 AM

More, but not as quickly.

Should’ve stuck with the pirate gig. It was working for him

The battle for the rubble of Raqqa is underway

Andrew Malcolm Jun 23, 2017 8:51 AM

Won’t be much left.

Your list of demands is a publicity stunt

“what happened that day was emblematic of a deeply troubling trend among progressives…”

“The jobs are still leaving. Nothing has stopped.”

Bad vendor. Bad! No cookie!

“The Corps is just starting to grapple with the issues the court has identified.”

“So you want me to sing my praises, is that what you’re saying?”

Why would we possibly want that?

“I mean he sold our country to The Russians.”

I could think of someone else you might want to ask about…

“You can ask a hundred people what hate speech is and you get a thousand different answers”

Trump: I never made any recordings of Comey

Allahpundit Jun 22, 2017 2:01 PM

Bluff.

Hackers stole private data from election databases

John Sexton Jun 22, 2017 1:21 PM

“90,000 records stolen by Russian state actors contained drivers license numbers”