An idea whose #@$! time has come: A swearing hotline where callers can vent
posted at 1:34 pm on July 27, 2012 by Howard Portnoy
Schimpf-los: That’s German for “go ahead and hurl insults.” It’s also the name of one of the cleverest innovations to come along since the invention of the telephone.
Reuters reports:
Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam—dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.
The service sells for 1.49 euros per minute, which works out to about $1.84 according to today’s exchange rates. It costs more than your typical quarter-a-swear “swearing jar” but is infinitely more satisfying.
Ralf Schulte, co-founder of the hotline, which has live operators standing by 24/7, explains that the service is no-fault:
We don’t judge people who are angry. It happens. It’s natural. With us you can blow off steam, no strings attached.
Schimpf-los grew not surprisingly out of its creators own stressful daily routines. But in Schulte’s view, it’s more than just a momentary release of pent-up aggravation. “If you’re stressed out at work,” he notes, “you go home and your partner gets an earful. Even though it’s not her fault.”
Schulte and his partner, Alexander Brandenburger, have left no stone unturned. When callers get cold feet or fail to show multisyllabic creativity in their cursing, operators are trained to bring out the rage with provocations like: “That’s the third time I’ve heard that today—is that all you’ve got?”
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We don’t need that. We have trolls who let us verbally beat the hell out of them for free.
CurtZHP on July 27, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Really? Nobody owns a pillow anymore?
MadisonConservative on July 27, 2012 at 1:48 PM
The spirit of entreprenuership knows no bounds.
Can we send them King Barry as one of their operators after we kick him out? He loves Germany after all.
BKennedy on July 27, 2012 at 2:03 PM
I can’t believe no one has beaten me to the punch:
Mr Barnard: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Man: Well, I was told outside that…
Mr Barnard: Don’t give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
Man: What?
Mr Barnard: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!!!
Man: Look, I came here for an argument! I’m not going to just stand…!!
Mr Barnard: Oh! Oh, I’m sorry, but this is abuse.
Man: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Mr Barnard: Ah yes, you want room 12A, just along the corridor.
Man: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Mr Barnard: Not at all.
Man: Thank You. (Under his breath) Stupid git!!
Mary in LA on July 27, 2012 at 3:47 PM
You show excellent taste. I could have sworn, however, that the line “this is abuse” was “this is debasement” (which would have been a nifty double entendre).
Howard Portnoy on July 27, 2012 at 3:49 PM
You’re right! That’s a good one.
IIRC, the Pythons weren’t much into puns, more’s the pity.
Mary in LA on July 27, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Hey, isn’t this what liberals know as Twitter?
stukinIL4now on July 27, 2012 at 8:38 PM
I always heard it as “this is abuse”. On the TV show, anyway, the records might have been different.
TMOverbeck on July 28, 2012 at 9:59 AM