Green Room

Poll: Obama would be better equipped than Romney to deal with alien invasion

posted at 5:31 pm on June 27, 2012 by

Team Obama and his Democratic allies have been hungry for some good news after a dreary a two months. A new survey commissioned for the National Geographic Channel’s series Chasing UFOs may have just what the doctor ordered—especially if the doctor is a diminutive humanoid with a large, bulbous white head and black almond-shaped pools for eyes.

According to the poll, 65% of those queried believe the president would be better suited than GOP candidate Mitt Romney to handling an alien invasion, and we’re not talking here about illegal aliens.

You may be inclined to dismiss the findings as a waste of time, but before you do consider that the poll found that 36% of Americans believe UFOs exist, with another 48% on the fence. Skeptics who doubt that extraterrestrial vessels have hovered in the night skies above the nation’s deserts comprise only 17% of the population. (By my reckoning, those three numbers add to 101%, but maybe the survey uses alien math.)

When asked how they would react if an alien crossed their path, 22% said they would try to makes friends, 15% would run away, 13% would lock their doors, and 2% would attempt to inflict bodily harm on the visitor.

As for the hefty percentage who said they think Obama would be a better match for the threat of an alien invasion, the poll stopped short of asking why. (Did some respondents, for example, assume that Obama would be a better buffer because he himself is an alien?) Notice also that the survey reports that respondents think Obama would be better at handling an attack, but it never specifies in what way. During the run-up to the 2008 election, Obama was asked how he would deal with a terrorist attack. His response was “I’d make sure we had enough first responders.” Maybe that’s how he’d “handle” an alien attack as well.

Now you may feel free to dismiss these findings as a waste of time.

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We already have an illegal alien Invasion – how is El Presidente Downgrade dealing with that?

Chip on June 27, 2012 at 5:44 PM

He’d just grant them de facto amnesty.

mchristian on June 27, 2012 at 5:45 PM

well Howard…

Obama has the Spock ears and only speaks “robotese” (might be a teleprompter thing)…

maybe Romney can appoint him czar of alien invasion prevention.

teejk on June 27, 2012 at 6:27 PM

Is today a slow news day ahead of tomorrow’s onslaught and did everybody knock off early to go home and rest up for Obamascare/Contempt Thursday? Or has the extreme heat gotten to everybody?

stukinIL4now on June 27, 2012 at 6:38 PM

“Skeptics who doubt that extraterrestrial vessels have hovered in the night skies above the nation’s deserts comprise only 17% of the population.”

That explains everything, doesn’t it…

aposematic on June 27, 2012 at 7:07 PM

ALF eats cats. Obama eats dogs. Obama clearly can find common ground with aliens by swapping recipes and establish a rapport.

And, if that fails, he is very experienced at bowing to foreign (and sometimes domestic) dignitaries, which would help when he surrenders.

malclave on June 27, 2012 at 7:25 PM

there are no aliens visiting us

tomas on June 27, 2012 at 7:31 PM

Most alien believers are Democrats?

Count to 10 on June 27, 2012 at 7:45 PM

The poll is irrelevant. Anyone with things to do would hang up on the pollster, assuming it’s a prank call. I can’t imagine any conservative who would waste time on something this dumb.

RegularJoe on June 27, 2012 at 9:51 PM

one thing is for certain- he’ll bow deeply to them in submission.

mittens on June 27, 2012 at 10:59 PM

Aliens wouldn’t bother personally invading. They would send drones.

crosspatch on June 28, 2012 at 1:14 AM

Well first he’d bow to them, then we could watch as they used their disintegration gun on him……….;)

angrymike on June 28, 2012 at 8:09 AM

As I said elsewhere, Aliens like to anally probe. Obama likes to be anally probed. Therefore, Obama is more equipped to handle an Alien invasion.

Blake on June 28, 2012 at 9:27 AM