Green Room

Walmart shopper found super glued to toilet seat

posted at 2:18 pm on June 23, 2012 by

“Super Glue,” the product’s TV ads used to boast, showing a hefty construction worker, his hard hat sealed to a metal cross-beam above him, legs dangling. “You can do some amazing things with it!” Yeah, like cement your posterior to a toilet seat.

Police in Monticello, Ky., aren’t saying whether that’s what happened to a female shopper at Walmart who needed to be pried from the restroom throne last week after an hour’s captivity. “We are looking at it (referring to the incident, not the woman’s hindquarters!),” Police Chief Ralph Miniard told Lexington NBC affiliate LEX. “Right now I wouldn’t be prepared to say if it was accidental or intentional.”

The woman was unstuck by Emergency Medical Services and taken to a local hospital to be checked out.

Miniard said an investigation was underway but adds that he suspects that curiosity, not mischief, was behind the assault on the woman’s behind. “Super glue or that type of adhesive is very fast drying,” he explained to reporters. “If it had been there very long it wouldn’t have stuck.”

The adhesive, a single square-inch of which can hold more than a ton of weight, can also cause skin burns if a large amount is applied.

Remarkably, this is not the first case of a Walmart shopper getting caught with her pants down. FOX News Channel has a video report of another incident that occurred last year in Maryland. That case involved a 48-year-old male who was carried out of the store with the toilet seat still attached to him. This time the stunt, which took place on April Fool’s Day, was judged to be criminal mischief. The responsible party was charged with second-degree assault.

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Who the heck does not first off copiously wipe down a public toilet seat then use an ass-gasket to cover the seat (or doubled up strips of toilet paper — at least!) before they cop a squat on a public toilet?

She super-glued herself so she could sue for big bucks. Period. End of story.

FlatFoot on June 23, 2012 at 2:28 PM

ass-gasket

Never heard it referred to as that, but I like it. Has a certain lilt.

Howard Portnoy on June 23, 2012 at 2:38 PM

FlatFoot on June 23, 2012 at 2:28 PM | Delete | Delete and Ban

Probably the same gals that don’t bother to wash their hands when they ‘go’? It is amazing to see how many don’t wash hands, and really NOT funny things they could be spreading around out touching stuff in the store?
L

letget on June 23, 2012 at 2:41 PM

Walmart bathrooms tend to be pretty far down on the list of clean restroom facilities, just above bars, sports stadiums, bus/train terminals and old-style gas stations, and usually for the same reason. It’s not so much as they don’t try to keep the place clean, but some of the customers seem to look at a flush toilet the same way the pre-humans looked at big black obelisk in “2001 A Space Odyssey” (though in a ladies’ room there may be a little more trust due to the lower odds of the previous user having peed on the seat).

jon1979 on June 23, 2012 at 2:47 PM

Here in S TX, and I am sure many many other states, we have gobs of women/men/kids ‘visiting’ from south of the border. The sewer system there won’t allow tp to be put down the toilet, so they have trash cans for it. Here, I have seen tp with ‘both’ functions on the floor if trash cans aren’t in the toilet area. That is not a nice sight!
L

letget on June 23, 2012 at 3:06 PM

ass-gasket

Sounds like The Jerky Boys.

Brian1972 on June 23, 2012 at 3:44 PM

Cyanoacrylate adhesives are fast drying after they make contact with skin. Depending on the concentration, the stuff can sit on an open surface for some time and still grab onto you like stench on an Occupier.

I’ve had it seep around a seam in a pewter model and easily 30-40 minutes later I pick the thing up only to find out I’ve grafted a Space Marine to my hand.

PXCharon on June 23, 2012 at 3:50 PM

She super-glued herself so she could sue for big bucks. Period. End of story.

FlatFoot on June 23, 2012 at 2:28 PM

That stuff does have a very short “working time” so unless there was a “waiting list” for stalls, I agree. I hope Walmart settles by giving her the seat (but charges her for the glue).

teejk on June 23, 2012 at 3:50 PM

Walmart bathrooms tend to be pretty far down on the list of clean restroom facilities, just above bars, sports stadiums, bus/train terminals and old-style gas stations, and usually for the same reason. It’s not so much as they don’t try to keep the place clean, but some of the customers seem to look at a flush toilet the same way the pre-humans looked at big black obelisk in “2001 A Space Odyssey” (though in a ladies’ room there may be a little more trust due to the lower odds of the previous user having peed on the seat).

jon1979 on June 23, 2012 at 2:47 PM

The black monolith in 2001 advanced human evolution. Public bathrooms seem to reverse it.

gryphon202 on June 23, 2012 at 3:51 PM

Never heard it referred to as that, but I like it. Has a certain lilt.

Howard Portnoy on June 23, 2012 at 2:38 PM

I personally prefer ‘ass-gasket’ but they are also sometimes referred to as “spare cowboy hats” — although you would certainly want to be cautious as to where and to whom such reference is made.

FlatFoot on June 23, 2012 at 3:58 PM

I’m done supporting the arts. I’m supporting bacteria instead. It’s the only culture some people have.

/RimShot

gryphon202 on June 23, 2012 at 5:09 PM

jon1979 on June 23, 2012 at 2:47 PM

True, Jon, but at least in a Wal-Mart (or more high end retail) you have a better chance of the stall/bathroom being at least clean…relatively speaking.

But its yet another reason why I carry a mini spray bottle of bleach and a small wad of shop towels.

BlaxPac on June 23, 2012 at 6:34 PM

ass-gasket

How about ass-shoe.

rickv404 on June 23, 2012 at 7:03 PM

Never heard it referred to as that, but I like it. Has a certain lilt.
Howard Portnoy
 on June 23, 2012 at 2:38 PM

Ditto.

AH_C on June 23, 2012 at 8:13 PM

Here in S TX, and I am sure many many other states, we have gobs of women/men/kids ‘visiting’ from south of the border. The sewer system there won’t allow tp to be put down the toilet, so they have trash cans for it. Here, I have seen tp with ‘both’ functions on the floor if trash cans aren’t in the toilet area. That is not a nice sight!
L
letget on June 23, 2012 at 3:06 PM

Eww. Reminds me of Iraq and watching 3rd worlders from Nepal or srilanka standing on toilet seats to do their duty or washing their feet in the sinks.

AH_C on June 23, 2012 at 8:20 PM

Howard Portnoy-bravely bringing us news no one else dares to…

hopeful on June 23, 2012 at 8:58 PM

True, Jon, but at least in a Wal-Mart (or more high end retail) you have a better chance of the stall/bathroom being at least clean…relatively speaking.

But its yet another reason why I carry a mini spray bottle of bleach and a small wad of shop towels.

BlaxPac on June 23, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Walmart tries, but sometimes it’s just a losing battle against some of the customers, who either have never seen one of these bio-waste removal thingys before, or have the worst aim in the world, on both No. 1 and No.2 (and I’m getting even more jaded in the Midland-Odessa area, where thanks to the oil boom, everyone’s headed to the oil patch. which means after about 7 p.m. Walmart is seemingly trying to run a 200,000 square foot SuperCenter with roughly five workers, none of whom are assigned to rest room detail).

jon1979 on June 23, 2012 at 10:51 PM

On a tangential note, I’ve long been told that super-glue was invented/used as a “surgical” glue.

There have been several times I have indeed used it on my hands or forearms to “suture” cuts too big to just apply a bandaid. It works well enough short-term.

Logus on June 23, 2012 at 11:23 PM

On a tangential note, I’ve long been told that super-glue was invented/used as a “surgical” glue.

There have been several times I have indeed used it on my hands or forearms to “suture” cuts too big to just apply a bandaid. It works well enough short-term.

Logus on June 23, 2012 at 11:23 PM

The Super Glue you get in stores was not invented for mediacal use and is not medical grade, but the same class of chemicals, “Cyanoacrylate adhesives” is now used for certain medical applications.

gryphon202 on June 24, 2012 at 10:25 AM

It’s worse at the urinal. I no longer shop there for that reason.

roy_batty on June 24, 2012 at 12:29 PM

The Super Glue you get in stores was not invented for mediacal use and is not medical grade, but the same class of chemicals, “Cyanoacrylate adhesives” is now used for certain medical applications.

gryphon202 on June 24, 2012 at 10:25 AM

Ah well.

It does work in a pinch though.

Logus on June 24, 2012 at 2:10 PM

Probably the same gals that don’t bother to wash their hands when they ‘go’? It is amazing to see how many don’t wash hands, and really NOT funny things they could be spreading around out touching stuff in the store?
L

letget on June 23, 2012 at 2:41 PM

This is why I don’t do potlucks at work. Those people are gross. I’ve seen pics of them with their dog licking them in the face, their dog on the table, and some guys not washing after wiping.

SouthernGent on June 24, 2012 at 9:08 PM

There have been several times I have indeed used it on my hands or forearms to “suture” cuts too big to just apply a bandaid. It works well enough short-term.
Logus
 on June 23, 2012 at 11:23 PM

yup, another benefit of going to the moon. I used it a few times, once on a deep gash in the palm from construction. Healed in about two weeks and twenty years later, hard to find the scar. Also used it to keep a broken filling in place until I could get out of Iraq on r & r and get it fixed – contractors only get emergency care and a broken filling only gets fixed by leaving Mosul (and work) to get it fixed out of country. Naturally you have to be real careful doing that, but it was better than enduring the exposed nerve for a couple of weeks.

AH_C on June 25, 2012 at 12:21 AM

AH_C on June 25, 2012 at 12:21 AM

o_O

Now that’s extreme!

Logus on June 25, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Gack.

J.E. Dyer on June 25, 2012 at 11:54 AM