New spray causes instantaneous drunkenness followed by instantaneous sobriety

posted at 3:38 pm on May 5, 2012 by Howard Portnoy

You know those moments in life when you wish you could wave a magic wand and be instantly drunk? No? How about those moments when you wish you could wave a magic wand and be instantly sober? You can probably think of abundant examples of the latter scenario, such as driving home from a party where you’ve imbibed quite heavily and noticing a flashing red light in the rearview mirror.

Both sensations are now yours in what could arguably be the most pointless invention in history. Meet the unwieldily named WA|HH Quantum Sensations spray, designed to give you an instant, if fleeting, buzz.

The spray is the invention of French American scientist David Edwards, who unveiled the product during a recent Paris exhibition.

The website OddityCentral reports that the short-term effects are due to the discharge of 0.075 milliliters of alcohol with each spray. What that means in practical terms is that it would take 1,000 sprays to equal the alcohol contained in a single conventional drink—but with none of the pleasure.

And presumably at many times the cost. A small bottle of the spray will sell for around $26.

The site notes that the spray is “so harmless you could actually pass a breathalyzer test as soon as the alcohol in your mouth wears off.” Which raises the question of what possible purpose it serves. The post’s author, “Spooky,” theorizes that “it might help alcoholics get their fix without actually pouring gallons of alcohol down their throats.” Maybe. At least that sounds more plausible than Edwards’s explanation that the product provides “the same agreeable sensation as comes with a sip of alcohol without running the risk of drunkenness.”

Only, where I come from, the agreeable sensation of drinking comes from the flavor and other sensory qualities of the beverage. When the inventor comes up with a spray that mimics the sensation of sipping a 50-year-old single malt Scotch, he should be sure to let me know.

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Naturally its true potential lies in its abuse.

Using the spray in conjunction with other drugs and beverages alcoholic and non-alcoholic for example.

StubbleSpark on May 5, 2012 at 5:09 PM

You only get drunk if you believe it works.

pedestrian on May 5, 2012 at 5:20 PM

Getting drunk, in whatever form, is a fairly pointless exercise. Drinking for pleasure is not the same.

College Prof on May 5, 2012 at 5:35 PM

well howard…any purchaser should automatically get enrolled in a treatment program. the buzz should be a “side benefit” of an enjoyable evening out or other such event. it should not be the “primary”.

teejk on May 5, 2012 at 5:37 PM

Any way to get this in a continuous drip IV feed?

I’m gonna need it to get through to November 7.

LegendHasIt on May 5, 2012 at 7:01 PM

Geeze, I didn’t stop to check the author. How does H Piddy always find the funniest stories?

WeekendAtBernankes on May 5, 2012 at 8:03 PM