Green Room

Fair enough: Novelist Stephen King cries, ‘Tax Me, for F@%&’s Sake!’

posted at 12:30 pm on April 30, 2012 by

An article at Monday’s The Daily Beast by fright-a-minute-schlock novelist Stephen King demonstrates three things: (1) that Newsweek’s sister website countenances crass profanity from its writers, (2) that one doesn’t need that much gray matter to strike it rich in a capitalist system such as ours, and (3) that King should stick to fiction writing.

Actually, there is plenty that is fictitious underlying King’s curse-laden screed, such as the belief that taxing the rich till it hurts will solve the nation’s ills. As has been repeated ad infinitum, enacting the Buffett Rule would add $31 billion to the nation’s coffers over the course of 11 years. This would cover approximately 17 hours worth of new debt incurred on Barack Obama’s watch.

There is also plenty in King’s article that is dimwitted. Take the argument that if some rich liberals, like King, are willing to pay a disproportionate amount of the nation’s tax burden, then all rich people should be on board with that. King, who traffics in demented characters, should understand the idiocy of this argument, which might be extended to practices such as cannibalism or ritual murder. If some members of society approve of these acts, then what’s everyone else’s problem?

King writes that his current marginal tax rate is about 28% and asks why it not 50%. But why stop there? If 50% is fair, how much fairer would it be if King and his likeminded rich pals were asked to pony up 92% of his income? That was the highest marginal rate paid in 1952 and 1953. Imagine how far that amount of “responsibility” (King’s term) on the part of the rich would go toward taking “care of [the nation’s] sick and its poor, the education of its young, the repair of its failing infrastructure, the repayment of its staggering war debts.”

The problem, as King eloquently notes, is that “most rich folks like to keep their dough,” adding memorably:

[T]he majority would rather douse their d**ks with lighter fluid, strike a match, and dance around singing “Disco Inferno” than pay one more cent in taxes to Uncle Sugar.”

But not all rich folks are so inclined. King acknowledges that “some rich folks put at least some of their tax savings into charitable contributions.” Ironically, that includes Stephen King. You’d think that for a man of King’s lofty moral standing would find taking charitable deductions to be as distasteful as dousing his member with lighter fluid, striking a match, etc., yet he and his wife “give away roughly $4 million a year to libraries, local fire departments that need updated lifesaving equipment (jaws of life are always a popular request), schools, and a scattering of organizations that underwrite the art. (Those “investments” should go far in helping the economy recover.)

Lest you think all charitable deductions are equal, King is quick to jump on the Koch Brothers (aka, “right-wing creepazoids”), who gave “68 million fine American dollars to Deerfield Academy. Which is great for Deerfield Academy. But it won’t do squat for cleaning up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, where food fish are now showing up with black lesions. It won’t pay for stronger regulations to keep BP (or some other bunch of dipsh*t oil drillers) from doing it again. It won’t repair the levees surrounding New Orleans. It won’t improve education in Mississippi or Alabama.”

Neither will King’s comparatively paltry $4 million do much for any of those causes, but he stopped making sense at the article’s title.

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Maybe he’s looking for a really scarey new book subject – being hounded by the IRS would make Misery look tame!

2nd Ammendment Mother on April 30, 2012 at 12:39 PM

F-ing genious.!

You know who else does not like to pay taxes???

Guess. Go ahead I’ll wait.

Ok, POOR people.

I mean we have a country where 42% PAY NOTHING. Some of those even GET MONEY for NOTHING.

The only real fix is to tax poor people. Tax all of them.

Reality tho, is that we could tax every single person, and never see daylight, because those that spend the money cannot f*&^ing control themselves.

O and Mr. King, you can contribute freely to the Treasury at any time, in any amount. Yeah, thats what I thought…

orbitalair on April 30, 2012 at 12:55 PM

pay.gov, Mr. King. Tax yourself all you like.

The Schaef on April 30, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Why wait, you f***ing POS!? Just give the government all your money and quit your f***ing b***ing!!!

And I’m not even an award-winning horror novelist…

cicerone on April 30, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Why wait, you f***ing POS!? Just give the government all your money and quit your f***ing b***ing!!!

And I’m not even an award-winning horror novelist…

But you sound like one. ;-)

Howard Portnoy on April 30, 2012 at 1:14 PM

So write the check already Stevie boy……
Nobody stopping you from handing over all your “extra” money to the IRS.

dentarthurdent on April 30, 2012 at 1:18 PM

well Howard

thanks for making me remove another of my favorites from my list…at this rate I’ll soon be down to Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and Paul Newman movies and will have to quit reading (anybody know how many times a DVD can be played before it wears out)?

teejk on April 30, 2012 at 1:31 PM

I stopped reading King after Under the Dome, in which he used a dim-witted town mayor cranked up on crystal meth as a ham-handed metaphor for GW Bush. Of course the real power in the town was a vice-mayor, a corrupt & evil Boss Hogg type who was supposed to be Dick Cheney.

Then, about a year ago, King hurled a bunch of insults at Tea Partiers.

At that point, I figured King doesn’t need any additional money from the likes of me, who he obviously has so much contempt for, since I’m a “tea bagger,” according to him.

To meet crassness with crassness, King can go eff himself. I’d rather douse my d**k with lighter fluid, strike a match, and dance around singing “Disco Inferno” than pay one more cent for a Stephen King book.

DRayRaven on April 30, 2012 at 1:44 PM

teejk on April 30, 2012 at 1:31 PM

Come on, teejk. He’s been on a downward trajectory ever since Salem’s Lot. Not that he started at such a high point in any case. I recall reading a piece he did for the NY Times‘s Book Review shortly after Carrie was published. He was, in his own words “within hailing distance of his first million” and defined himself as a writer of “warm-water fiction”—stuff that is so mindless as to read effortlessly.

Howard Portnoy on April 30, 2012 at 1:52 PM

King is proof positive that idiots can prosper in America.

Koch brothers donations won’t help the poor, but then neither will all the money that went to naming buildings after Robert Byrd, or the money we wasted on Solyndra.

What WOULD help the poor is CHEAP gasoline. We are paying $2,000 more per year for gas per car versus what we paid when Obama became president.

originalpechanga on April 30, 2012 at 1:56 PM

The Gunslinger = Still Awesome

WeekendAtBernankes on April 30, 2012 at 2:15 PM

Makes me wonder how these useful idiots are gonna feel when Obama simply SEIZES all their assets.?

orbitalair on April 30, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Once, just once, I’d like to see one of these “Tax me more” rich a–holes put their friggin’ money where their mouths are and WRTE A HUGE DAMN CHECK TO THE GOVERNMENT.

JALH Just Another Liberal Hypocrite.

crazy_legs on April 30, 2012 at 2:52 PM

Take the argument that if some rich liberals, like King, are willing to pay a disproportionate amount of the nation’s tax burden, then all rich people should be on board with that.

So what he’s saying is, if some rich liberal jumps off the Grand Canyon, then ALL rich people should jump off the Grand Canyon. Well, Mr. King, some rich people aren’t as dumb as you. But if you would like to go with your other liberal lemmings and jump off of a cliff, go right ahead. Heck, I would be happy if just Soros and Buffet went with you.

And to think I once admired this guy.

Sterling Holobyte on April 30, 2012 at 2:56 PM

As the others have said, Mr. King, stfu and go give the government your money if that’s what you want. Leave us out of it.

Meanwhile, does anybody else remember some years ago when this creep touted his retirement? He rushed through his last two Dark Tower books, making them crap in the process, just so he could be done writing. Since then he’s produced half a dozen more… Well, he didn’t keep to his retirement, but I have. Haven’t read a single thing he’s written since that 7th gunslinger book…

Gingotts on April 30, 2012 at 3:28 PM

So, again, why is King waiting to be taxed? Why doesn’t he just send in everything he has to Uncle Sam?

He seems to have self-starting problems.

J.E. Dyer on April 30, 2012 at 3:29 PM

Howard Portnoy on April 30, 2012 at 1:52 PM

well Howard…He did venture into serious stuff (Shawshank and Green Mile were actually very good movies IMHO).

but unlike Paul Newman and a few others that had a liberal bent but were smart enough to keep their mouths shut, SK has now landed on my Alec B list (I used to love that Beetlejuice movie).

p.s. it is rather scary that so many people take their views from people that absent a lucky break would be taking your order at Denny’s…

teejk on April 30, 2012 at 4:38 PM

Would someone please forward the link to King?

http://www.treasurydirect.gov/govt/resources/faq/faq_publicdebt.htm#DebtFinance

Thanks

ProfShadow on April 30, 2012 at 5:06 PM

I used to be a huge Stephen King fan. Then I began to get irritated about who he cast as his bad guys. A few years ago, I was reading his latest (I forget which), and the religious person was presented as devious and evil in a way that was so transparently anti-religious.

That is, religious people can be presented as devious and evil, when it makes sense. In his case, he just considers nearly everyone religious – or conservative! – to be evil, and it shows.

So I didn’t even finish the insulting book. Last year I gave my whole King collection to Goodwill. I will never give him another cent.

It’s terrible what happens to people like him. I think they get old and just get bitter and awful toward anything/anyone they don’t like. And because they have been successful, they apparently don’t need or care about their audience anymore.

In fact, they just don’t care about people any more, if they ever did. I think what we see over time with people like King is the real King. When they are younger, they just hide their hate well. As they get old, it becomes all of them.

As I’m pushing on old myself, I don’t think that applies to everyone aging – just a few. But it seems a disproportionate amount of liberals get like that as they age, and he is a prime example.

Alana on April 30, 2012 at 5:06 PM

I think you nailed it…enough money to avoid the bargain aisle at any store. Estate tax rates are pretty harsh (good news is that you have to be dead to incur them so you won’t notice).

Buffet et al and now S King are on a mission to ask for higher taxes while the are alive, I guess so they can get credit and see it.

teejk on April 30, 2012 at 7:50 PM