Green Room

It’s come to this: Tide laundry detergent being used as currency in some U.S. neighborhoods

posted at 7:18 am on March 13, 2012 by

Didn’t this happen in Zimbabwe just before their currency collapsed under a tidal wave of hyperinflation?

…Theft of Tide detergent has become so rampant that some cities are setting up special task forces to stop it and retailers like CVS are taking special security precautions to lock down the liquid.

…Tide has become a form of currency on the streets. The retail price is steadily high — roughly $10 to $20 a bottle — and it’s a staple in households across socioeconomic classes.

Tide can go for $5 to $10 a bottle on the black market, authorities say, and some thieves even resell it to stores.

“There’s no serial numbers and it’s impossible to track,” said Detective Larry Patterson of the Somerset, Ky., Police Department, where authorities have seen a huge spike in Tide theft. “It’s the item to steal.”

To paraphrase Mark Steyn, when laundry detergent becomes a de facto currency, you’re pretty much done for.

You feeling stimulated yet?

Hat tip: BadBlue.

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Tide – detergent, track cleaner, currency. Is there nothing Tide can’t do?

Steve Eggleston on March 13, 2012 at 7:40 AM

It can certainly chafe your nether regions. Especially with the new washers that have no agitator…painful stuff that Tide.

cozmo on March 13, 2012 at 8:57 AM

For years I’ve used Tide to scrub the driveway to clean up any spilled oil after mechanical work. It’s the best. I saw that they used it to clean up the track at Daytona after the big spill, so I’m not the only one who appreciates its utility.

cane_loader on March 13, 2012 at 9:09 AM

I’m sorry, but I’m a bit slow this morning. Is this stuff being used to cook drugs? If not, wouldn’t you expect something a bit easier to carry?

ElectricPhase on March 13, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Are we to anticipate an outbreak of NASCAR races?

rbj on March 13, 2012 at 9:57 AM

It can certainly chafe your nether regions. Especially with the new washers that have no agitator…painful stuff that Tide.

cozmo on March 13, 2012 at 8:57 AM

Is that what that is… mother of uncomfortable dog…

Jeddite on March 13, 2012 at 10:14 AM

One of my favorite things to eat is Shur-Fine corn flakes with gobs of peanut butter on the side of the bowl. It also works well with chocolate cheerios. Sick, I know…but that’s beside the point.

What IS the point is how expensive peanut butter is getting. So if anyone needs some general household chores or lawnwork done, and they want to pay in peanut butter (or sexual favors – either would work), I’m game.

DRayRaven on March 13, 2012 at 10:26 AM

A Black guy in the photo? RACIST!

Seriously, for y’alls info, Tide’s made by Proctor & Gamble, which spends huge bucks on homosexual propaganda every year.

itsnotaboutme on March 13, 2012 at 10:36 AM

For years I’ve used Tide to scrub the driveway to clean up any spilled oil after mechanical work. It’s the best. I saw that they used it to clean up the track at Daytona after the big spill, so I’m not the only one who appreciates its utility.
cane_loader on March 13, 2012 at 9:09 AM

Thanks for the tip. I’ll try it on my garage floor. Dawn dish detergent is a great grease cutter and doesn’t harm fabrics (Ralph Lauren recommends it) and I use it on stubborn spots when I’m doing laundry.

I’m sorry, but I’m a bit slow this morning. Is this stuff being used to cook drugs? If not, wouldn’t you expect something a bit easier to carry?
ElectricPhase on March 13, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Ha! I was wondering if it had ingredients which could make you high. Not clear as to why Tide in particular is so valuable, other than noting they must be doing a great job marketing it. I use Arm & Hammer cause it’s cheap but maybe Tide is like a status symbol if you live in the hood?

Buy Danish on March 13, 2012 at 10:59 AM

Buy All Free & Clear. It’s cheap, it cleans, and it won’t hurt your skin.

Vera on March 13, 2012 at 11:21 AM

OCD cleaners turn to crime.
It’s a sad day indeed.

justltl on March 13, 2012 at 11:30 AM

Honestly, and on a serious note, I have never been a big Tide fan. It makes me itch. I use the clear All in the white container. It’s hypo-allergenic.

DRayRaven on March 13, 2012 at 11:46 AM

Good gravy are we in trouble as a nation. Glenn Beck couldn’t come up with something this freaky.

MelonCollie on March 13, 2012 at 12:26 PM

tide- when selling your blood and entertaining passing truckers at discount rates no longer pays the bills…

smells like obamanomics.

mittens on March 13, 2012 at 2:11 PM

I have never been a big Tide fan. It makes me itch.

DRayRaven on March 13, 2012 at 11:46 AM

Me too. it’s a very concentrated detergent.

alwaysfiredup on March 13, 2012 at 3:35 PM

Honestly, and on a serious note, I have never been a big Tide fan. It makes me itch. I use the clear All in the white container. It’s hypo-allergenic.

DRayRaven on March 13, 2012 at 11:46 AM

The world worked much better when hyper-allergenic people used to live like this.

BobMbx on March 13, 2012 at 4:42 PM

but maybe Tide is like a status symbol if you live in the hood?

Buy Danish on March 13, 2012 at 10:59 AM

G’on, now! Get yo ass down to da sto and get me some Tides.

BobMbx on March 13, 2012 at 4:44 PM

I remember during Carter’s reign of economic terror that bartering clubs sprung up all over. Anything to avoid currency.

PattyJ on March 13, 2012 at 11:52 PM

I’m sorry, but I’m a bit slow this morning. Is this stuff being used to cook drugs? If not, wouldn’t you expect something a bit easier to carry?

ElectricPhase on March 13, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Nope. It’s being used as an alternate form of black market currency. Name brand has name recognition and will hold its value, and even poor people need cleaning supplies.

dominigan on March 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM