A priest, a rabbi, and a midget walk into a Denny’s…

posted at 4:12 pm on February 25, 2012 by Howard Portnoy

Regardless of what you may think of his politics, the late Abbie Hoffman knew a thing or two about promoting a free restaurant meal. The same cannot be said for 52-year-old James Summers, who according to Mediaite:

walked into a [Madison, Wisconsin] Denny’s and told employees that he was their new boss. The old boss wasn’t too happy about this, and the staff was confused, but he went on and entered the kitchen anyway, and started to cook himself a cheeseburger. He only got it about half-cooked before police got to him, but proved that a little bit of confidence goes a long way—at least deep enough in the kitchen to get at the beef.

Other reports, including this video filed by CNN, indicate that he ate about three-quarters of the burger before the store’s manager, who had phoned company headquarters and confirmed her suspicion that the guy was a fraud, approached him and asked how he intended to cover the cost of his $10 meal. Summers reportedly replied that he didn’t plan to pay—and couldn’t pay if he wanted to.

According to the Madison Police report:

He never announced he was one of the pros from Dover, but the briefcase toting gentleman wearing a maroon tie and long black trench coat was quite clear: he had been sent by corporate. He claimed he was the new general manager, that he had worked for the restaurant chain for 30-years and was starting his new job— right now.

Police turned serious when they discovered that the contents of Summer’s briefcase include a stun gun and two crack pipes. Among the charges filed against him are fraud and carrying drug paraphernalia.

As he was being led off in handcuffs, Summer said to the patrons of the restaurant, “This is why you don’t dine and dash, kiddies!”

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