Green Room

Woman driver claims her 38KKK breasts saved her life in crash

posted at 11:11 am on February 10, 2012 by

One woman’s bane is another’s boon. A week to the day after a female Florida driver insisted that her top-heavy breasts were to blame for her failing a field sobriety test, a second several states away claimed she owes her very existence to her volleyball-size knockers.

Sheyla Hershey, proud owner of the world’s largest breast implants, insists her 38KKK assets functioned as a second airbag when she lost control of her car last Sunday and plowed into a tree.

Hershey, 32, was on her way home from a Super Bowl party near Houston when she lost control of her Ford Mustang. She told Barcroft Media:

I think my breasts saved my life. The accident was bad and my boobs are sore, but they protected the rest of me.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t protect Hershey, who is a model by profession, from being cited by police for drunk driving and failure to wear a seatbelt. Despite her protestations that she doesn’t drink, she admitted in court to taking drugs for her bipolar disorder, headaches, and backaches. Under Texas law, a driver can be considered impaired if he is taking legal medications.

Hershey, who is obsessed with having grotesquely large boobs, has spent $100,000 on 30 breast enlargements—so far. She has expressed a desire to make her breasts two cup sizes larger despite sustaining a life-threatening infection from one of her surgeries.

NOTE: In compliance with Internet rule 32, I have included photos, which are here. (There is also a video to appease the lechers among you.)

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Comments

I haven’t a clue where she finds a bra to fit those things? I bet they cost a fortune to have one made for her! IMO, they are just ugly!
L

letget on February 10, 2012 at 11:22 AM

When your knockers are bigger than your head, that’s taking things a little too far.

NoDonkey on February 10, 2012 at 11:28 AM

Access Denied. Error 403.
You have attempted to access a file or directory to which there is no public access.

MadisonConservative on February 10, 2012 at 11:31 AM

Access Denied

That would be a violation of rule 32.

“Hello? Attack Watch?”

HotAirian on February 10, 2012 at 12:02 PM

MadisonConservative on February 10, 2012 at 11:31 AM, HotAirian on February 10, 2012 at 12:02 PM

My sincerest apologies. Links have been fixed.

Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM

She doesn’t need a seatbelt as nothing can penetrate her “volleyball-size” implants.

Do plastic surgeons have a code of ethics? I can’t believe that she won’t have back problems with implants that large.

Gladtobehere on February 10, 2012 at 12:35 PM

My sincerest apologies. Links have been fixed.

Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM

Most graciously accepted. Damn.

MadisonConservative on February 10, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Oh, you can’t fool me. This is a gratuitous attempt to gain readers by showing pictures of boobies.

Worked on me.

Demonized on February 10, 2012 at 12:56 PM

Oh, you can’t fool me. This is a gratuitous attempt to gain readers by showing pictures of boobies.

Worked on me.

🙂

Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 1:03 PM

Jane Cobb: “I’ll be in my bunk.”

Bulletchaser on February 10, 2012 at 1:46 PM

well howard

have to ask…what possessed you to post this story????

…but thanks!

teejk on February 10, 2012 at 3:51 PM

Yep, I guessed it from the headline… another Howard Portnoy original!

Marcola on February 10, 2012 at 4:34 PM

well howard

have to ask…what possessed you to post this story????

I would think by now you’d see a pattern emerging. 😉

Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 4:48 PM

I would think by now you’d see a pattern emerging.
Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 4:48 PM

yeah…I’m seeing it.

but two words of advice…

#1 you’ll never get out of the green room though unless you start taking things seriously

#2 if #1 happens, I’ll stop posting,

teejk on February 10, 2012 at 5:28 PM

Perhaps Sheyla would like to save my life with her breasts by laying prostrate across my gland… ; )

DevilsPrinciple on February 10, 2012 at 5:44 PM

Is there anything large breasts can’t do???

G M on February 10, 2012 at 6:31 PM

Does she where a bra for her KKK breasts or does she put white hoods on them?

Mark1971 on February 10, 2012 at 7:28 PM

dual air bags.

Wigglesworth on February 10, 2012 at 8:35 PM

I would think by now you’d see a pattern emerging. 😉

Howard Portnoy on February 10, 2012 at 4:48 PM

We’re gonna need a bigger boat bra!

I will say, she aint too hard on the eyes…mostly cuz if you look just right, you can’t see her face.

BlaxPac on February 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM

“omg, super huge boobies!!!11” howard portnoy’s brilliant analysis and important news as usual, i see. where would hotair be without him?

Sachiko on February 11, 2012 at 1:11 PM


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