Barack the Peacemocker
posted at 3:08 pm on January 1, 2012 by Dafydd ab Hugh
According to my favorite blogger at my favorite blog (and the Associated Press), President Barack H. “Bubble Boy” Obama is currently in secret negotiations with the Taliban — to be “mediated,” if Obama has his way, by Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi: a Koran-thumping, jihad-urging, radical-Islamist cleric in Afghanistan.
The bare bones of the agreement our president is hammering out with the Taliban is this:
- Americans unconditionally withdraw all forces from Afghanistan.
- We give up all objection to the Taliban returning to power (as part of a “coalition” with the Karzai government * ).
- We build a headquarters compound for the Taliban.
- We announce that we are no longer enemies with the Taliban.
- We release all Taliban prisoners from Guantanamo Bay and allow them to return to Afghanistan — and resume the activities that landed them in Gitmo in the first place.
- We issue an apology from the deck of the USS Ronald Reagan; after which Obama goes barefoot and bareheaded to Kandahar, where he bows deeply from the waist and begs forgiveness — for George W. Bush’s wickedness.
(That last bullet point isn’t official; I’m just logically extrapolating.)
In the Power Line post, John Hinderacker theorizes about what President B.O. has in mind:
[T]he Afghanistan war is deeply unpopular [it is? I thought that was the good war! — DaH], and Obama wants to run for re-election next November on the boast that he “ended two wars.” The baleful consequences of re-installing the Taliban in Afghanistan will not appear until long after the next election campaign, which is all that Obama cares about.
John implies, I believe, that the maneuver will have the desired effect: Obama will be lionized for being the peacemaker, Bush reviled as a warmonger, and this will give Bubble Boy a swift boost into a second term. But bear in mind that traditionally, the closer we approach an election, the more pessimistic become the lads at Power Line.
I have a different take on the political outcome of Obama “workin’ the machinations behind the scenes,” as Louis Farrakhan might put it. Rather than a political triumph for Obama, I see a soft spot that even the Republican Party will be able to hit while dead drunk and with one eye tied behind its back — which, to be honest, is the way it usually campaigns.
Here’s the plan. We wait until Barack Obama begins strutting and chest thumping about how he has “ended two wars,” then we respond thus:
President Obama has discovered a super-easy way to end any war quickly: just surrender. We prematurely withdraw from Afghanistan at the same time we prematurely withdraw from Iraq, leaving the door wide open to an Iranian invasion; what a diplomatic masterstroke! Obama becomes the first president in American history to lose two wars… simultaneously!
It seems the One We Have Been Waiting For actually believes that surrendering to two different gangs of radical Islamists is America’s greatest national-security triumph, and he expects us to reward him with another term. Even worse, these are two wars that we had already won — that is, until Barack Obama took over and found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Heckuva job, Mr. President.
I have no idea who gave him the cockamamie idea to bring the Taliban back in Afghanistan and to prematurely withdraw from Iraq and allow Iran to take over. It’s as if in 1945, after the Germans surrendered in World War II, FDR had entered into secret negotiations with the surviving Nazis to withdraw all American troops, then help restore the Nazi Party to power again in Germany… while simultaneously encouraging the Soviets to seize control of Japan, China, and the Philippines.
Even Jimmy Carter stands in awe of such a colossal concatenation of catastrophe.
Barack Obama has pulled off a feat that none of us thought possible: His foreign and national-security policy has failed even worse than his domestic and economic policy… a breathtaking achievement!
I say, bring it on; how I long to have that debate. What is Obama going to argue? “Look, it has been three months already, and the Taliban has not yet reinstated mass torture-executions of Christians, moderate Moslems, and uppity women!”
Well of course not: Part of Obama’s secret deal with the Taliban requires them to hold off until Obama is safely reelected… probably the only clause of the contract they will fulfill; and then only because having Barack Hussein Obama continue to occupy the White House is in the Taliban’s best interest, and Iran’s as well.
All that’s left is to declare all American hydrocarbon fuel off-limits at the very moment the Iranians decide to blockade the Strait of Hormuz; then the cosmic Obasmic failure will be complete, thorough — and irreversible.
* Note that the Taliban and Hamid Karzai’s government are deadly, sworn enemies; how’s that parlay going to work out?
Cross-posted on Big Lizards…