Green Room

Marines in Afghanistan Prohibited from Passing Gas

posted at 1:19 pm on August 28, 2011 by

Call it “don’t fart, don’t tell.” The rule is not mentioned in the Uniform Code of Military Justice, but a report out of Afghanistan suggests that Marines there have been told not to break wind, at least not audibly, around the indigenous peoples for fear of offending them.

As The Blaze notes, the Military Times was first to document the flatulence restriction in its “Battle rAttle” section. So what else is taboo for our brave men (and, one supposes, women) in uniform?

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

Anything else we can do to make the Aghans’ life better in between fighting their battles against the Taliban, the murderous group that has ravaged much of their nation since the mid-1990s?

In any case, a ban on normal bodily processes is an interesting development in a part of the world where everyone eats right-handed because the left hand is reserved for unmentionable purposes.

Finally, as to offending the indigenous peoples of Afghanistan, can anyone tell me who is not offended by the odor associated with flatulence?

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What do these little darlings do about their goat gas passing? Does that offend them too? If one of these rop type pass gas, can anyone say something to them about the odor or noise?

letget on August 28, 2011 at 1:49 PM

for the love of pete….

cmsinaz on August 28, 2011 at 2:37 PM

The Marine farts can’t smell any worse than the local population’s BO. The US needs to tell them that the bear shit’s in the woods and always will.

MJZZZ on August 28, 2011 at 3:02 PM

Who isn’t offended? The Dutch, for one. They were pushing for more freedom to fart in public a few years ago.

Anyway, I’m sure when they have tea with the Taliban, they better hold their pinkies out as well. The Taliban being so dainty about stuff like that, and all.

Allahs vulva on August 28, 2011 at 3:46 PM

This stinks.

I know, I know — too easy. Sorry.

hillbillyjim on August 29, 2011 at 10:12 AM

On that basis, Obama should be prohibited from ever opening his mouth. 😛

Mary in LA on August 29, 2011 at 3:04 PM

Chemical Warfare…?
Silent but Deadly should be their motto….

DJcool on August 30, 2011 at 6:54 AM

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