The Commercial Chevron SHOULD Be Running
posted at 10:11 am on March 1, 2011 by Jazz Shaw
Recently I’ve been seeing some commercials from Chevron running 24/7 that have just put a burr under my saddle. It’s all part of a new PR campaign on the company’s part called “We Agree.” One truly annoying example of this is the following ad which begins with a regular Joe kind of working guy in a warehouse complaining about how much money the Big Oil companies make. He’s shown in a split screen with an attractive woman who works for Chevron.
Worker: Oil companies make huge profits.
Chevron: Last year Chevron made a lot of money.
Worker: Where does it go?
[Cut to graphic saying “Oil Companies Should Put Their Profits to Good Use.”]
Chevron: Every penny and more went into bringing energy to the world.
Worker: The economy’s tough right now, everywhere.
Chevron: We pumped $21B into local economies. Into small businesses, communities, materials.
Worker: That money could make a big difference to a lot of people.
[Cut to graphic… “WE AGREE“]
Do you see what’s going on here? Between the media and the government, people have done such a great job of demonizing energy companies that they’ve now taken to running ads which effectively apologize for a business in America making a profit. And it’s not as if it’s going to do Chevron any good. As we reported previously, when the energy company donated millions of dollars worth of solar panels to several schools in California to help them “go green,” how were they rewarded? The parents and students took to the streets to protest “Chevron’s greed.”
And why would you show a regular worker demanding to know what Chevron – or any company – does with their profits? It’s a business. They exist to make a profit. That’s how capitalism works, folks. I don’t see anyone running around demanding to know what happens with the profits made by McDonald’s or Bed, Bath and Beyond. But since it’s an “evil Big Oil company” we somehow feel entitled to demand to know what they’re doing with their money.
Let me offer Chevron a nickel’s worth of free advice. Here’s the advertisement you should be running. Start out with the same worker asking the same question about where all the money goes, and then cut away to Chevron CEO John Watson in a $10K suit sitting behind a mahogany desk smoking a big ole’ stogy. He leans forward toward the camera and says the following:
WATSON: We hear you. And it’s true… we do make a lot of money. Or, at least we used to. What do we do with that money? Well, to be honest, that’s really none of your business. If you’re really that interested, what say you get some skin in the game, buy some preferred stock in our company, and then you’ll know what happens to the money because you’ll be getting some of it. That’s why it’s called a profit, hoss.
And frankly, we’re not all that concerned with what you think anymore anyway. Why? Because people like you keep electing government officials who won’t even let companies like ours get back to work producing the products we sell. You think our gasoline is expensive now? Keep it up. We’ll see how you like paying six bucks a gallon. At this rate, profits may be a thing of the past anyway.
So no, we do not agree. We’re Chevron. And frankly, we’re getting a little tired of your crap.
Run that advertisement and you’ll win more loyal fans and customers than you think.