Green Room

Mark Kirk a Villain for Wanting to Keep Elections Honest

posted at 11:49 am on October 14, 2010 by

Liberal bloggers are shocked—shocked, I tell you—over a “secret” recording in which Mark Kirk, Republican candidate for the Illinois Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, discusses plans to send teams of lawyers into heavily black areas on election day to make sure the voting process is not tampered with.

What on earth could Kirk have been thinking? Let’s consider that question.

Maybe he was thinking about the 26 counts of voter registration fraud and 13 counts of illegally compensating canvassers committed in Nevada in 2009 by mostly black members of ACORN, a group currently under investigation in 14 states and to which Barack Obama has ties.

Or maybe he was recalling the two black thugs, both members of the New Black Panthers, who stood menacingly outside a Philadelphia polling place in 2008, one of them brandishing a nightstick. Kirk might also have been ruminating over the decision of the Justice Department, under the Obama administration, to drop the cases against the two men, even though both had failed to appear in court and were therefore guilty by default.

Perhaps the candidate was cogitating on the lax handing by the Justice Department’s Voting Rights division of cases in which people cast votes in 2008 despite the notable limitation of being dead or in jail.

Or perhaps Kirk’s thoughts were running to Illinois itself, and especially the windy city, which is famous for its “political machine,” which magically transforms Democratic shortfalls into victories.

In any case, the Illinois arm of the Democratic party is also up in arms over candidate Kirk’s brash move. Said Alderman Freddrenna Lyle:

For him to insinuate that there is some vote fraud going on in these communities is just an insult to the hundreds and hundreds of people who serve as election judges on elections. I find it disgraceful and insulting.

Lyle, was also offended by Kirk’s use of the verb jigger in the following statement:

These are lawyers and other people that will be deployed in key, vulnerable precincts, for example, South and West sides of Chicago, Rockford, Metro East, where the other side might be tempted to jigger the numbers somewhat.

Rev. Albert Tyson picked up on the theme, remarking that the word jigger “sounds so much like another word.”

But, see, Reverend, the thing is that lots of words sound like other words. It’s called rhyming, and without it many poets and Hallmark would be out of business.

So I say to my liberal compadres and to Alderman Lyle and Rev. Tyson, let’s not make this deal out to be bigger than it is. Go about the business of electioneering with vigor. Lose your righteous indignation over Mark Kirk and get to work.

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During the ’08 election, did the Obama campaign say they wanted everything to go off without a hitch? Because, like, that makes them sexist, because it sounds like that other word.

Or something.

RachDubya on October 14, 2010 at 12:33 PM

I sure hope Kirk can do something about the military votes in Illinois! I can not say how mad this makes me that the military in so many states probably will not have their votes counted! I think the results of an election should be held up till ALL military votes are sent, returned, and counted. And get gobs and gobs of people from the states to see to it the votes ARE counted. I hope Kirk wins, BTW.

letget on October 14, 2010 at 12:52 PM

Rev. Albert Tyson picked up on the theme, remarking that the word jigger “sounds so much like another word.”

Rev. Tyson really must really despise the Winnie the Pooh stories, to be so upset over a word rhyming with “Tigger”.

malclave on October 14, 2010 at 3:13 PM

Or perhaps Kirk was remember the Election Fraud Convictions of two black Democrats in Milwaukee, who went to Bush-Cheney campaign headquarters and slashed the tires of vans which would be used to transport wheelchair bound supporters to the polls.

Jaibones on October 15, 2010 at 6:29 AM

In Joe Biden-ese, “…Two words to describe why the lawyers are being sent in to verify the voting, ACORN.”


Fallon on October 16, 2010 at 10:07 PM