The secret to ending child sexting? PARENTING.

posted at 12:20 pm on March 29, 2010 by Cassy Fiano
[ Family ]   

In the face of Obamacare, skyrocketing unemployment and a god-awful economy, you wouldn’t think that adolescent sexting would be a hot topic in the news. Oh, wait — it actually makes perfect sense. Why would the liberal media focus on problems that the government actually does need to focus on when they can
concentrate on things that are the responsibility of American parents?

I found out about the sexting crisis from Lori Ziganto. We’ve all heard about sexting. You’ve got kids that are in middle school sending each other explicit messages and, in extreme cases, sending nude photos via cell phone. Of course, case after case ends up with some girl being humiliated because the boy she sent the photos to ends up sharing them, and pretty soon the entire school sees them. This is technically considered distributing child pornography, and now, fifteen states are trying to figure out how to handle the “crisis”.

In the digital age sending sexually explicit photos, messages or videos from a cellphone or over the internet has become so common it has a name: “sexting.” While not exclusive to any one age group, a National Center for Missing and Exploited Children study found that 19% of teens, nearly one in five, have engaged in sexting. When a minor takes a naked photo of him or herself and sends it to a boyfriend or girlfriend, that child is technically committing a crime: disseminating child pornography. It’s a crime that carries hefty penalties and could land teens on sex offender registries. This has become a tricky issue nationwide and prosecutors have had to grapple with some tough questions. If a minor takes a nude self-portriat should that child be charged? What if the “photographer” sends it to a friend who then sends a blast email to the whole school? Who, if anyone, should be punished in that situation? And should the repercussions follow a minor for the rest of his or her life?

Connecticut is one of at least fifteen states considering legislation to address teen sexting. State Representative Rosa Rebimbas introduced a bill that would create a lesser category of punishment for minors who transmit child pornography electronically. Rebimbas says that in many cases a felony punishment doesn’t fit the crime and her bill is designed to give prosecutors options. If passed, under the new law prosecutors would be able to charge minors with a class a misdemeanor rather than a felony. “The felony conviction of course could carry with it a prison term, also hefty fines in combination with that and again the most devastating is the fact when you have a felony conviction it could be very difficult for anyone who’s searching for jobs as well as having to register as a sex offender,” says Rebimbas. Make no mistake though, she doesn’t plan on letting kids off with a slap on the wrist if punishment is warranted. “The misdemeanor would be something that would stay on their record, absolutely and I think the important point in that is to hold minor children accountable for their actions because there are true victims as a result of these acts,” Rebimbas explained. And, she says, prosecutors would still have the choice of not prosecuting at all if the behavior is not malicious.

Not everyone thinks more laws are the right solution to the problem though. Connecticut Victim Advocate Michelle Cruz says education is key. “I think we’re in a society where a lot of times what we try to do is we see an issue, we want to resolve it so we think legislation. Sometimes the best answer is education, not codifying certain behaviors,” says Cruz. Cruz believes creating a law that defines teen sexting as a crime and is targeted to put them in the criminal justice system is not the way to go. “I feel that carving a specific section for an age specific group of individuals for pornography is dangerous. Now we’re codifying sexting and we’re saying to kids, this is pornography and we’re identifying it by creating a law to penalize them,” she said. Cruz advocates mandatory education to teach teens about the potential ramifications of sexting.

Give me a freakin’ break. If parents did their dang jobs, then this would be a non-issue. Heck, if parents did their jobs, then the law wouldn’t need to get involved. I shudder to think what would have happened to me if my mother had ever caught me sexting at twelve. I’m sure most of you who grew up with parents who were parents and not your friends know exactly what I mean. I wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week, and on top of that, my cell phone would be confiscated and all social activities would be completely banned. My mom would have put a stop to that immediately had I ever texted a naked photo to some boy at school — and if I had, she’d have found out about it. Ah, the good old days, when parents were actually parents!

And of course, Lori Ziganto also thinks that this is exactly what we need. Who would have thought that a little common sense could go such a long way?

Enough. Even though I’m not some expert legal mind, nor a policy wonk, I do have a handle on that whole For The Children ™ thing, being a Mom and all. It does not require sweeping legislation, for goodness sake. Nor mandatory “education” at the indoctrination facilities known as public schools. Since I’m kind and thoughtful, I’ll offer my solution, free of charge (let’s see the government do that!):

Dear Hand Wringers, there is an easy way to stop teen “sexting”. Stop buying cell phones for children.

If you, for whatever reason, feel the need to indulge your child and you end up buying them a cell phone, then, you know, be a parent. Monitor their phone. Do not choose a texting plan. If you are all hippie-like and thinking “oh, that’s spying! It’s an invasion of their privacy” try to realize that you are the parent. And you are paying the bill. It’s your phone, not theirs. In fact, you own them. They can have privacy when they have their own home.

While you are at it, get off my lawn. There. Mommy made it all better, once again.

This is why I love Lori. So simple, and yet so brilliant. It really isn’t that complicated. But we live in a nannified country, after all. So if there’s a crisis concerning our children, then parents can’t possibly be expected to handle it. The government must be involved, or our schools must step in to teach our children about “healthy, safe sexuality”. Because, you know, teenagers should be able to enjoy their sexuality, as long as its in a “safe” way.

And that attitude, in a nutshell, is why we have a sexting crisis. Who do we have to thank for it? Feminists like Jessica Valenti, who think its OK to run around telling teenagers that its fine if they think their sexuality involves sleeping around at 15. We live in a world today where, thanks to feminism, teenagers are inundated with messages from every direction telling them to enjoy a healthy expression of teenage sexuality. They get it from their schools. It’s in the music they listen to and the movies they watch. It’s everywhere. And the message they’re being sent is basically that it’s fine if you have sex at a young age, as long as you are “safe”. Safe means using birth control and condoms, which, to feminists, means that nothing bad could possibly ever happen! If you’re on the Pill, then there’s no way you could still accidentally get pregnant. If you use condoms, then there’s no way you could get an STD! It clearly isn’t a good attitude to have towards sex, especially for teens. Consider the fact that 1 in 4 teens have an STD. There’s emotional consequences, too. Most teens who have sex go on to later regret it. They end up more likely to be depressed and suicidal. Teen girls who accidentally get pregnant are also more likely to live in poverty and be on welfare.

But we’re letting our society send them messages, loud and clear, that having sex is perfectly fine as long as you’re “safe” about it.

Throw in a parenting attitude where the mom wants to be the best friend, and is it really so surprising that sexting is going on so much? Maybe if we weren’t teaching our kids that it’s OK for teenagers to have sex whenever they want, as much as they want, as long as they slap a condom on first, then there wouldn’t be so much sexting going on. Maybe if parents looked at their children’s cell phones as a privilege, and not a right, and one that needs to be monitored at that, then there wouldn’t be so much sexting going on.

Bottom line, all of this boils down to parental responsibility. It is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that kids have the right attitude towards sex, and that they don’t feel like it’s OK for them to run around screwing anyone they want to as long as they’re using a condom. It is the responsibility of the parent to monitor the kid’s cell phone usage. We’ve given our children the tools to have unhealthy relationships, and now we’re complaining that they’re engaging in unhealthy and unsafe behaviors. Kids should be taught to wait preferably until they’re married to have sex, but at the very least, to wait until they’re older and more mature. That’s not what we’re doing, though, is it? We’re teaching our children unhealthy, dangerous attitudes and behaviors.

We are failing our children, and we’re asking the government to save us. We are doing our children a disservice, and it’s up to the parents of America, not the politicians, to save them.

Cross-posted from Cassy’s blog. Stop by for more original commentary, or follow her on Twitter!

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