A Suggestion For The White House And Coakley Campaign

posted at 12:53 pm on January 17, 2010 by Doctor Zero

Things are not looking good for the Coakley campaign in Massachusetts.  Her Republican challenger, Scott Brown, has soared into the lead in most polls.  President Obama has stepped in to help the desperate Democrat, telling voters that Martha Coakley’s presence in the Senate is essential for the passage of his health care bill.  Liberal commentator Ed Schultz has declared that a Coakley defeat would spell the “end of Hope and Change,” effectively reducing Obama to a lame duck after only one year in office.  This would come as welcome news to an increasingly large majority of Americans, but it’s obviously not the ending Obama wanted to write for his “historic” presidency. 

Conservatives, meanwhile, have passionately supported the generally moderate Brown, because he can kill the health-care bill before it escapes the bloody ruin of its birth in the mess hall, and finds a nice hiding place in the cargo bay, where it can grow into an unstoppable acid-blooded monster that could devour us all.  Both sides agree that Tuesday’s special election may decide the fate of the Democrats’ bid to take over the health-care system.

I have a modest suggestion for the White House: given the stakes, why not simply promise the people of Massachusetts free health insurance for life, if they vote for Coakley?

It’s a perfectly reasonable strategy, given the other special concessions and payoffs that have been needed to drag ObamaCare this far.  Non-unionized Americans will be compelled to subsidize lower taxes on the “Cadillac” health care plans of far wealthier union workers.  Exactly one state in the union, Nebraska, will receive full Medicaid funding, because that was the dollar value of Senator Ben Nelson’s pro-life beliefs.  Hundreds of other payoffs are hidden inside the Senate and House bills, to be periodically discovered by bleary-eyed staffers after the latest two-thousand page printout thuds onto their desks.

The elaborate restrictions and rationing of the final, twisted product of these negotiations will never apply to the ruling class.  Top Party officials will never have to stand before the death panels, to be told their cancer treatments are an expensive gamble the state cannot afford.  No one will ever tell Michelle Obama that she has to wait for a mammogram.  Why not simply extend the Cadillac Escalade SUV benefits of the ruling class to everyone in Massachusetts, if they vote Coakley in?  The population of the state is only a little over six million.  Toss another hundred billion dollars on the deficit, and it’s all taken care of. 

Giving free health care to Massachusetts would be a terrific stimulus for the state’s moribund economy.  Doubtless it would attract both new residents eager to cash in on those benefits, and health-care providers hungry for government subsidies and ObamaCare insurance payouts.  And once the system inevitably generates to single-payer socialized medicine, and the hard-core rationing kicks in, you’d have tons of shovel-ready projects down at the local cemetary!

If providing free insurance for all the residents of Massachusetts proves too expensive, we could always limit the benefits to people who actually vote for Coakley.  Does that seem offensive to the spirit of democracy?  Why should it be any more of an outrage than the payoffs needed to get us this far?  President Obama says we’re at the “precipice” of health-care reform.  This is no time to become faint-hearted, or fussy about silly old documents written by long-dead white slaveholders who absent-mindedly forgot to add medical insurance as an “inalienable right.”  If health-care reform is an absolute good that justifies the river of lies and corruption flowing from the Obama White House, surely it can justify one last, juicy slice of pork for the voters of the Commonwealth, to help our great nation get over that precipice.

Will underwriting a few million free health-insurance policies bankrupt our Treasury?  Heck, it’s already far beyond bankrupt.  The future generations who are already paying for the Obama agenda should be proud to pony up a little more, to get us past Tuesday’s crucial vote.  Their teachers will doubtless instruct them on the unthinkable consequences of allowing America’s first black president to go down in history as an epic failure.  They’ll ask if adding a few more percentage points to their gigantic tax bills is worth avoiding the nasty, brutish, and short lives of Americans in the pre-ObamaCare dark ages.  Doubtless our grandchildren will applaud their role in financing the total State we bequeath them.

The rest of America has never properly thanked the people of Massachusetts for thirty years of Ted Kennedy’s wise Senate leadership.  We should be willing to dig deep, and pay any price to keep Scott Brown from blocking the Kennedy legacy of total government power over the individual… especially since he would be doing it from a Senate seat he foolishly thinks is the property of America.  The core belief of progressive thought, in the age of Obama, is that nothing belongs to anyone unless the government allows it.  If Coakley wins on Tuesday, we will come one step closer to extending that principle over every cell in your body.

Cross-posted at www.doczero.org.

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