Will B.O. Run for Reelection? – Obamic Options 006
posted at 2:33 am on December 28, 2009 by Dafydd ab Hugh
This is a strange post, I assure you. Even by Big Lizard standards, this draws an extra flask of Weird.
My Obamic Option for today is… Will President Barack H. Obama actually run for reelection in 2012? Or has he something loftier in his future?
Don’t become a mob; let me present my case:
- The predicate of this question is very specific; we assume a universe where his reelection prospects look at least “iffy.” I think we all agree that if it looks like he’s going to cruise to victory, he’ll stick with the presidency.
So assume point 1 above — that his chances are dicey (like Bush in 2004, Clinton in 1996, LBJ in 1968 — and unlike Reagan in 1984 and Nixon in 1972).
- One of my operating contentions is that, whether Obama realizes it or not, the presidency is really not the position for which he is ideally suited.
He may have thought being president was like being a gentleman farmer, but he has already learnt better. The job requires decisiveness, leadership, the ability to persuade opponents to your own side, and the willingness to stand up and accept responsibility, to be accountable for failure as well as applauded for success — all traits that B.O. notably lacks.
The entirety of his past experience has been in positions where all he has to do is schmooze, nod sagely to what others say, make his own lofty pronunciamentos… then sit down to his 633rd testimonial dinner. The presidency does not fit that job description, but there is a powerful and personally lucrative position that demands a man exactly like Barack Obama.
- Ergo, I argue, Obama is admirably suited to one job only: Secretary General of the United Nations.
The role of Yenta in Chief (or Yentor, since he’s male) fits Obama’s personality, talents, and experience like a drum. A Secretary General “Lucky Lefty” Obama would never again have to be “the decider;” the Secretary General never decides anything. Like the Director in C.S. Lewis’ immortal novel That Hideous Strength, Obama’s world comprises nothing but shades of grey. It’s amusing and apropos that he calls himself “post-racial”; what does post-racial mean but beyond black and white?
And what’s beyond black and white is an achromatic melange of greys, from steel to slate to iron to charcoal. Nothing is ever completely right, nothing ever utterly wrong; there is no conclusion; nought is finally decided; there is always a third way (or fourth, or tenth).
But is the One actually qualified for the exalted, opalescent apex of world diplomacy? Yea, verily.
- Barack H. Obama exceeds every job requirement:
- He’s a “person of color” — important in a world where most delegates see whites as nameless, faceless “oppressors” who must be relentlessly resisted.
- He professes a very, very, very deep Liberalism… yet in reality, he is an Alinskyite: He doesn’t believe in power as the means to some other end but as the end in itself. In fact, everything is topsy-turvy in Obamunism: Left-liberalism is the means to power, not the other way round; the principles of the New Left are infinitely maleable and can easily adapt to the accretion of any available power du jour.
- As a specific instance of (b), Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George W. Bush… even as he replicated virtually all of Bush’s “warmongering” foreign policy. Why? Because Obama has clearly signalled that he intends to lose all those wars — and blame the losses on Bush and the conservatives. Thus hawkishness can be presented as the necessary precursor to pacifism… and all the aging hippies pump their fists and shout “Right on!”
- He is either an antisemite himself, or else he is at least willing to surround himself with antisemites — important in a world where, to quote Billy Carter, “They is a hell of a lot more A-rabs than they is Jews.”
- Obama loves tyrants and dictators and hates messy “democracy” — important inasmuch as, to paraphrase poor Billy this time, they is a hell of a lot more despots than they is democrats.
- He’s not pushy or commanding; he makes no demands and doesn’t press any particular principles. Just let him speak (endlessly), party like it’s 1999 again, and receive award after citation after laurel, even if undeserved, and Barack Obama will be as happy as a doornail.
- Final qualification: Although he’s American, a real black eye, he’s an anti-America American (“the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone/All centuries but this, and every country but his own”), which is a real feather in his cap. They balance out, subtracting what would otherwise be a deal-killer.
So what does this chain of reasoning portend? This: I predict that, if the Obamacle ponders the race of 2012 and sees a strong Republican contender and only luckwarm support for himself, he will try to cut a deal with the U.N.; current Secretary General Nanki-Poo would retire with all honors… then the General Assembly offers Obama the job.
I suspect he would consider the move a promotion; I can even play TOTUS and write his speech for him:
All of our greatest problems are collective problems, and they are international in scope. I have tried as hard as possible and have achieved goals both remarkable and unprecedented… but I’ve reached the limit of what can be achieved from the narrow, parochial viewpoint of the head of one particular government, even one as powerful as the United States. With the current crisis, this is no time for a man to play small ball.
To further the great project and bring about the vision that we all hold so dear, every one of us — that of a single, unified, global government that does not waste time and resources in pointless bickering, but gives us action, action, action to implement the demands of the citizens of the world — I must step up to the plate and accept the awe-inspiring responsibility the world offers me.
I must, with great humility, embrace my destiny to save not just the United States or even the Western hemisphere, but the entire global world. Therefore, with a light heart and great expectations, I hereby announce that I cannot be a candidate for the presidency of the United States this year, 2012; I leave that mission to those Democrats better suited to its limited and parochial nature.
See? I warned you it was weird. Perhaps next time you’ll pay heed and flee while you still have legs to carry you.
I myself would rank the odds of my prediction coming true as no better than one in ten, and possibly a miniscule fraction of that (if I have over-analyzed my man). But if wrong, the only price I will pay will be a few chuckles and a bit of raillery; so what the heck.
If I’m right, however, I’ll be hailed as a blogospheric godling. It’s almost win-win!
Intense excavations of Jurassic Obamic Options have unearthed these previous fossils:
- Obamic Options 001
- Obamic Options 002: The Limits of Tolerance of Pinkos
- Another Noble Obamic Musing – Obamic Options 003
- Could He Ever Bring Himself to Say It? Obamic Options 004
- Extradition Indecision – Obamic Options 005
Cross-posted on Big Lizards…