Green Room

Will B.O. Run for Reelection? – Obamic Options 006

posted at 2:33 am on December 28, 2009 by

This is a strange post, I assure you. Even by Big Lizard standards, this draws an extra flask of Weird.

My Obamic Option for today is… Will President Barack H. Obama actually run for reelection in 2012? Or has he something loftier in his future?

Don’t become a mob; let me present my case:

  1. The predicate of this question is very specific; we assume a universe where his reelection prospects look at least “iffy.” I think we all agree that if it looks like he’s going to cruise to victory, he’ll stick with the presidency.

So assume point 1 above — that his chances are dicey (like Bush in 2004, Clinton in 1996, LBJ in 1968 — and unlike Reagan in 1984 and Nixon in 1972).

  1. One of my operating contentions is that, whether Obama realizes it or not, the presidency is really not the position for which he is ideally suited.

He may have thought being president was like being a gentleman farmer, but he has already learnt better. The job requires decisiveness, leadership, the ability to persuade opponents to your own side, and the willingness to stand up and accept responsibility, to be accountable for failure as well as applauded for success — all traits that B.O. notably lacks.

The entirety of his past experience has been in positions where all he has to do is schmooze, nod sagely to what others say, make his own lofty pronunciamentos… then sit down to his 633rd testimonial dinner. The presidency does not fit that job description, but there is a powerful and personally lucrative position that demands a man exactly like Barack Obama.

  1. Ergo, I argue, Obama is admirably suited to one job only: Secretary General of the United Nations.

The role of Yenta in Chief (or Yentor, since he’s male) fits Obama’s personality, talents, and experience like a drum. A Secretary General “Lucky Lefty” Obama would never again have to be “the decider;” the Secretary General never decides anything. Like the Director in C.S. Lewis’ immortal novel That Hideous Strength, Obama’s world comprises nothing but shades of grey. It’s amusing and apropos that he calls himself “post-racial”; what does post-racial mean but beyond black and white?

And what’s beyond black and white is an achromatic melange of greys, from steel to slate to iron to charcoal. Nothing is ever completely right, nothing ever utterly wrong; there is no conclusion; nought is finally decided; there is always a third way (or fourth, or tenth).

But is the One actually qualified for the exalted, opalescent apex of world diplomacy? Yea, verily.

  1. Barack H. Obama exceeds every job requirement:


    1. He’s a “person of color” — important in a world where most delegates see whites as nameless, faceless “oppressors” who must be relentlessly resisted.
    2. He professes a very, very, very deep Liberalism… yet in reality, he is an Alinskyite: He doesn’t believe in power as the means to some other end but as the end in itself. In fact, everything is topsy-turvy in Obamunism: Left-liberalism is the means to power, not the other way round; the principles of the New Left are infinitely maleable and can easily adapt to the accretion of any available power du jour.
    3. As a specific instance of (b), Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George W. Bush… even as he replicated virtually all of Bush’s “warmongering” foreign policy. Why? Because Obama has clearly signalled that he intends to lose all those wars — and blame the losses on Bush and the conservatives. Thus hawkishness can be presented as the necessary precursor to pacifism… and all the aging hippies pump their fists and shout “Right on!”
    4. He is either an antisemite himself, or else he is at least willing to surround himself with antisemites — important in a world where, to quote Billy Carter, “They is a hell of a lot more A-rabs than they is Jews.”
    5. Obama loves tyrants and dictators and hates messy “democracy” — important inasmuch as, to paraphrase poor Billy this time, they is a hell of a lot more despots than they is democrats.
    6. He’s not pushy or commanding; he makes no demands and doesn’t press any particular principles. Just let him speak (endlessly), party like it’s 1999 again, and receive award after citation after laurel, even if undeserved, and Barack Obama will be as happy as a doornail.
    7. Final qualification: Although he’s American, a real black eye, he’s an anti-America American (“the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone/All centuries but this, and every country but his own”), which is a real feather in his cap. They balance out, subtracting what would otherwise be a deal-killer.

So what does this chain of reasoning portend? This: I predict that, if the Obamacle ponders the race of 2012 and sees a strong Republican contender and only luckwarm support for himself, he will try to cut a deal with the U.N.; current Secretary General Nanki-Poo would retire with all honors… then the General Assembly offers Obama the job.

I suspect he would consider the move a promotion; I can even play TOTUS and write his speech for him:

All of our greatest problems are collective problems, and they are international in scope. I have tried as hard as possible and have achieved goals both remarkable and unprecedented… but I’ve reached the limit of what can be achieved from the narrow, parochial viewpoint of the head of one particular government, even one as powerful as the United States. With the current crisis, this is no time for a man to play small ball.

To further the great project and bring about the vision that we all hold so dear, every one of us — that of a single, unified, global government that does not waste time and resources in pointless bickering, but gives us action, action, action to implement the demands of the citizens of the world — I must step up to the plate and accept the awe-inspiring responsibility the world offers me.

I must, with great humility, embrace my destiny to save not just the United States or even the Western hemisphere, but the entire global world. Therefore, with a light heart and great expectations, I hereby announce that I cannot be a candidate for the presidency of the United States this year, 2012; I leave that mission to those Democrats better suited to its limited and parochial nature.

See? I warned you it was weird. Perhaps next time you’ll pay heed and flee while you still have legs to carry you.

I myself would rank the odds of my prediction coming true as no better than one in ten, and possibly a miniscule fraction of that (if I have over-analyzed my man). But if wrong, the only price I will pay will be a few chuckles and a bit of raillery; so what the heck.

If I’m right, however, I’ll be hailed as a blogospheric godling. It’s almost win-win!


Intense excavations of Jurassic Obamic Options have unearthed these previous fossils:

  1. Obamic Options 001
  2. Obamic Options 002: The Limits of Tolerance of Pinkos
  3. Another Noble Obamic Musing – Obamic Options 003
  4. Could He Ever Bring Himself to Say It? Obamic Options 004
  5. Extradition Indecision – Obamic Options 005

Cross-posted on Big Lizards

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Peter Principle.

cthulhu on December 28, 2009 at 3:05 AM

I wish he was SG of the UN right now….sigh

IowaWoman on December 28, 2009 at 5:33 AM

You could be right, but…

Wouldn’t it also be a version of his personal hell if he succeeded, but an effective Republican President reversed his policies and blocked his “global” liberal initiatives at every turn?

cs89 on December 28, 2009 at 6:38 AM

Very funny DAFYDD!

Would a country have to sponsor him, or is this something that His Awesomness would acquire like he did the NPP?

Robert17 on December 28, 2009 at 6:55 AM

Well there’s one big problem with your theory which pretty much would keep him out. He doesn’t speak French and the French arn’t going to fall for the “He promises to learn it” scam a second time. (For those that don’t know permanent members of the security council can veto any candidate. Because of that it’s pretty much an unofficial requirement to speak English and French. The French are a bit peeved that the current one supposedly speaks French but really doesn’t.)

Dave_d on December 28, 2009 at 8:04 AM

I don’t think the SG can be from any of the countries who are permanent members of the Security Council. But then, they’ll no doubt bend the rules for the One.

Wethal on December 28, 2009 at 8:29 AM

Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer
Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
I said dreamer, you’re nothing but a dreamer
Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!
I said “Far out, – What a day, a year, a laugh it is!”
You know, – Well you know you had it comin’ to you,
Now there’s not a lot I can do

Dreamer, you stupid little dreamer;
So now you put your head in your hands, oh no!
I said “Far out, – What a day, a year, a laugh it is!”
You know, – Well you know you had it comin’ to you,
Now there’s not a lot I can do.

GnuBreed on December 28, 2009 at 9:16 AM

Will B.O. Run for Reelection [in 2012]?

I think he’s planning to be dictator by then. Either that or he’ll unleash ACORN to ensure that he wins the election.

Daggett on December 28, 2009 at 9:29 AM

His problem in running for the SecGen post right now is the 2010 midterms — Obama can’t go far enough left to satisfy not only the far left of the Democratic Party, but also those foreign leaders who are as disappointed and angry as the Kos types that Obama hasn’t done more to weaken U.S. power on the world’s stage. But he can’t do that in the run-up to the midterms if he wants to keep the Democrats’ midterm results next November from becoming a tsunami of a disaster, especially in the wake of the apparent renews terrorist attempts against the country.

The Democrats are going to lose seats anyway this coming November barring some sort of major game-changer, and you would think that would force Obama back to the middle in 2011. But if he’s thinking about that U.N. office, then odds are you’ll see a counter-intuitive result of a more combative Barack Obama, which would only make a modicum of sense if the GOP regains control of either the House and/or the Senate (Clinton was combative with Gingrich, but still moved back to the middle and signed welfare reform; an Obama gunning for the SecGen job will be combative and try to push even more leftist causes, espeically on the foreign policy front).

jon1979 on December 28, 2009 at 10:22 AM

Why would he choose, when he could be BOTH!?

Eyas on December 28, 2009 at 11:21 AM

Plus the UN won’t ask for his birth certificate.

Just kidding!

Anyway it might do him some good…


CK MacLeod on December 28, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Sounds about right, for a man whose only genuine talent is “community organizing.”

RushBaby on December 28, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Another reason to not run for a 2nd term and go be Sec. General instead:
By the time 2012 rolls around Team Obama will have stolen all the money they can out of the US economy and they will need a bigger bank to raid – the UN would be ideal.

They started out will small deals – like Rezko’s land deal, Jarrett’s slumlord deals, Michelle’s patient dumping scams, Axelrod’s PR scams, Rham’s Fannie/Freddie millions and they have moved on to pillage the US government stimulus plans, expanding their circle of friends, power & money. Just think what UN money could do.

batterup on December 28, 2009 at 12:48 PM

I hope this comes true and President Sarah Palin condemns the U.N. building in NYC and closes it down.

SouthernGent on December 28, 2009 at 2:24 PM

3.Ergo, I argue, Obama is admirably suited to one job only: Secretary General of the United Nations.

I’ve been saying all along that this is his ultimate goal. The only obsticle is the rule about no permanent security council member citizens can be Sec Gen (the conspiracy theorist in me says watch out for that Kenyan birth certificate in that event).

crazy_legs on December 28, 2009 at 2:31 PM

I think he should start next week.

Dukehoopsfan on December 28, 2009 at 4:04 PM

Wow. That’s all my brain can think right now. Wow. You got some kinda political Magic 8 ball or somethin’? I mean… far from being weird, I think this is a pretty insightful post.

It sure has me thinking in a different way about what’s coming for this country… wow.

Talk about thinking out of the box. I gotta applaud this one. Quite a post. Seriously. I am NOT being sarcastic. I’m going to be thinking about this one for quite some time.

Should you wind up being correct on this one, you’ve got to be a lock for some sort of Nobel prize. Maybe the Nobel Hopeychange award? wow.

Mad Mad Monica on December 28, 2009 at 5:31 PM

And I agree with Dukehoopsfan… I wonder if we could find BO, Prince Biden of BS and Nancy “ToughSkins” Pelosi positions with the UN right now. Of course that leaves the next in line to run the show and I’m not sure who that is… but if we put all three of these nutjobs in big positions with the UN, we won’t even HAVE a UN within six months!

Mad Mad Monica on December 28, 2009 at 5:34 PM

Wouldn’t it also be a version of his personal hell if he succeeded, but an effective Republican President reversed his policies and blocked his “global” liberal initiatives at every turn?

I hope this comes true and President Sarah Palin condemns the U.N. building in NYC and closes it down.


YehuditTX on December 28, 2009 at 6:56 PM

I vote present.

andrewp on December 29, 2009 at 4:55 PM

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