Green Room

How the Reid Stole Healthcare

posted at 10:19 pm on December 23, 2009 by


Most people
In America
Liked their healthcare a lot

But the Reid,
Who lived in Washington,
Did not

The Reid hated healthcare, thought the system was smashed
Now please don’t ask why his hate was so unabashed
It could be that he was filled with much gall
It could be, perhaps, that his glasses were too small
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart to Obama was enthralled

Whatever the reason,
His worship or glasses
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the masses
Staring down from his perch with a sour, nasty frown
At the people with healthcare below in their town
For he knew every person with coverage below
Disagreed with him, and that made them his foe

“They’re happy with their healthcare” he snarled with a sneer
“The polls are against me! Their opinion is clear!”
Then he growled with his thin fingers not able to hold still
“I MUST find a way to pass this Obamacare bill!”
For next year, he knew…

All the Americans would start calling their reps
And would wake up to his plans and rush the Capitol steps
And then! Oh the noise! Oh, the noise, noise, noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE!

Then the Americans, young and old, would start to protest
And they’d protest, and protest!
They would start their tea parties and threaten his career
Which was something that filled the Reid with great fear

They’d do something he liked least of all!
Every American, the tall and the small
Would all stand together, and with one voice cry
“You’re not listening to us, and have gone awry!”

And they’d cry and they’d cry
And they’d CRY CRY CRY CRY!
And the more the Reid thought of the people’s point of view
The more the Reid thought, “I know just what to do.”
“I’ll ignore what they think and continue to pursue”
“A takeover of healthcare…we’ll shove it through”
“I have sixty votes and nothing to lose”

Then he got an idea
An awful idea
The Reid
Got a wonderful, awful idea!

“I know just what to do!” the Reid laughed in his throat
As he used taxpayer money to buy every vote
And he chuckled and said “What a great little trick!”
“I’ll use pork to make this bill pass so quick!”

“All I need is some suckers”
And the Reid looked around
And since this was Washington, such lowlifes abound
So Reid offered some cash
And promised some pork
“Votes are easy to buy, this will pass without fail!”
The Reid made many deals and made the sale
“With so many votes, we will surely prevail!”

He loaded the bill
With plenty of presents
For those willing to sell
Their principles for mere cents

Then the Reid said “Let’s vote!”
On a bill few had read
Affecting the Americans
Whose paychecks would be bled

And what happened then?
Well in America they say
That our taxes went up
And grew three sizes that day!
While at the same time, our healthcare declined
But the Reid didn’t care, he had achieved his gain
And he…
He himself…
The Reid voted to cause us all pain.

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Excellent poem. Ahem.

I would read it in a box,
and I would read it with a fox
I would like it on a train,
I would like it in the rain
Oh how I like your healthcare screed.
But how I hate that Harry Reid.

mchristian on December 23, 2009 at 11:58 PM

Now we just need to get him visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future to straighten him out!

INC on December 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM

hahahahahahaha ! Merry Christmas

It must be Christmas, my daughter and I are sick with the flu…. Goody… I’ve always wanted chicken noodle soup for Christmas.

kringeesmom on December 24, 2009 at 7:58 AM

Now we just need to get him visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future to straighten him out!

INC on December 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM

I’m afraid that wouldn’t work. The Ghost of Christmas Past would show up and be lulled to sleep by “Mr. Excitement,” causing the both of them to crash into some mountainside and leaving Ghosts Present and Future on the unemployment line.

highhopes on December 24, 2009 at 10:19 AM

Haha, nicely done.

Midas on December 24, 2009 at 1:52 PM

God Bless us everyone!

red131 on December 25, 2009 at 8:07 AM

It takes 60 votes to end a filibuster.
Reid got his 60 votes.

This means that each Senator who voted for Obama Care cast the deciding vote.

Repeat of the Clinton tax increase where each Senator cast the deciding vote.

Let the campaign adds begin.

The Rock on December 26, 2009 at 12:47 PM